Riona

Riona

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WpMetadataReadComplete Fri, Sep 10, 20212h 18m
Riona. In case you haven't guessed by now, that's me. This is my story. And I'm going to start from the very beginning, so you can get the full picture. They say we're not defined by our past. But I believe that the past is what makes you who you are. It moulds you. It sticks with you no matter how far ahead in life you get. And then, it catches up to you, putting you in a chokehold you can't possibly get out of. In my case, my past is very messy. I don't like it, but I also can't seem to shake it off. Almost ten years down the line, and I'm still in the same position, making the same decisions. I thought I'd changed. I thought I was better. Little did I know, that I was just building up to get worse. I'm not like most people, I don't function the same way you do but I believe that it is for the best. I don't see myself ever being normal. Normal is boring, crazy is fun. Crazy is what I do.
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"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboard

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