The Curse of the Holy Jeebus Holy Water

Whilst investigating the death of a local Stupiboi heller, a Holy Mom slapper called Jeebus Crust uncovers a legend about a supernaturally-cursed, holy Jeebus holy water circulating throughout Dark at approximately 2 AM. As soon as anyone uses the Jeebus holy water, he or she has exactly 69.420 days left to live.

The doomed few appear to be ordinary people during day to day life, but when photographed, they look Skeletal. A marked person feels like an Unholy ;jksholaig=f to touch.

Jeebus gets hold of the Jeebus holy water, refusing to believe the superstition. A collage of images flash into his mind: a Water Hcnik balancing on a Stupi Stupiboi heller, an old newspaper headline about a Drive-by shooting accident, a hooded Handog ranting about Feet and a drinking well located in an exists place.

When Jeebus notices his feet have ;jksholaig=f-like properties, he realises that the curse of the Holy Jeebus holy water is true and calls in his relationship, a Goat eater called Ixunixa Ixunixa, to help.

Ixunixa examines the Jeebus holy water and willingly submits himself to the curse. He finds that the same visions flash before his eyes. He finds the Water Hcnik balancing on a Stupi Stupiboi heller particularly chilling. He joins the queue for a supernatural death.

Jeebus and Ixunixa pursue a quest to uncover the meaning of the visions, starting with a search for the hooded Handog. Will they be able to stop the curse before their time is up?

If you thought this was serious, judging by the poor grammar (and that this plot is AI generated, not that you knew that), then you are the heck.
This is a J O K E and the characters are also jokes.