You.

Dear Xander,
I'm so sorry for the way I left things. Surely you can understand why I did what I did. You're there. And he's...well he's here. And he's a good man, really he is.
The pain in your voice haunts me as soon as the sun leaves the sky. I can only blame these dark circles under my eyes on myself. I can't sleep. I can't eat. You were so loyal. So committed and ready for more. All you wanted was my happiness and well-being.
I know you must hate me and I would too if I were you. I saw your picture on Facebook the other day and my heart skipped a beat. I started remembering your smell. Your smile. The softness in your eyes.
I hate myself for these feelings I do. He is a perfectly good man and here I am having these thoughts about another. I don't regret being with him but I do regret hurting you the way I did. I suppose I will the rest of my life, honestly. Just know, that even though I love him...I love you too. And always will.
Yours truly,
Macy.