Beautiful, But destructive

I had the same nightmare last night, the nightmare where id stab my whole family, even though I didn't want to, I felt like a robot, the real me was stuck somewhere inside my brain, hiding in a dark corner, I couldn't forget the screams and cries as I completely ruined everything, everything my parents had worked towards the perfect house, perfect jobs perfect family, I took everything away from them, it was my fault. This was just my punishment.