Diary Of The Depressed
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- Votes 4
- Parts 59
So, I'm no foreigner when it comes to mental illnesses. Ever since I was 12, I lived with the struggles between diagnoses and misdiagnoses. I lived with nothing but my notebooks and writings during the darkest nights and the darker days.
This is where I'll post my poems, rants, thoughts, and anything I used letters to form sentences and convey a message of my state at that time being.
This is where I'll post my journey to where I've become. This is where I'll let you in on my little and big demons. The ones I slayed and the ones that stayed.
If you suffer, here's some solace. If you don't, here's someone's experience.
These are unedited ones that have every single mistake preserved. No paraphrasing. Raw and honest.
Dates of the creation of each part are the title of each chapter.
All Rights Reserved
#45
arabic
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EPIPHANY
"I'm desperately trying to heal myself." •. •. •. •. •. I strongly believe art isn't supposed to be pretty, or liked and understood by the masses. Art is supposed to make you uncomfortable, it's supposed to boggle your mind and touch your heart. And this is what I've done. Most of my words aren't pretty. They are the real ugly truths about the things and people around me. The factors that make me who I am. This is a bringing together of the most intimate tragedies and beauties I've discovered in my mind. A Complication of Poetry. © 2018meditatingineden •Highest Rank• #21 in memoir #60 in growth #22 in contemporary #37 In hidden treasuresComplete
Why You
Just poems. Some poems that I have written and others from the internet. If you would like to send me poems, I will dedicate that page to you. Or if you want to stay anonymous that's fine, too. Poems that I have wrote will have a '*' at the end. Please don't steal my own poems, because I worked hard on them. If you do choose to steal MY works, I am hurt. Use your own inspiration and creativity, please, it's not very hard (edit: it is very hard) ;) The poems that I have not written belong to there rightful owners. I will not be taking credit for them.Complete
"Things I Never Said Out Loud"
Not a recovery book....🫶🏼 Here lie the words I swallowed, the pain I buried, and the questions they told me not to ask.Complete
Walking Into Black
Don't fear death. It does nothing for you. Death is at every turn; the challenge is if you choose to accept it or not. Don't fear pain. Pain is how you learn. Pain is the side-effect of life. If you live life fearing getting hurt...can you truly live life fully? I've felt pain. I've accepted death. I've lived, I've learned, I've drowned a few times. If all I have to show for it is small bundles of letters and words...so be it. That's more than I could have ever hoped for. Everything that means anything to me are just words. You can put anything into words. Anything and everything. You can put death into words. You can put pain into words. You can put fear into words. And I have. And you can read them, if you want. You can learn from them; learn to stop fearing, learn to stop living in the future, behind your mask. But only if you care enough to listen. I speak loud and clear, yet nobody can hear me. I am not hidden, yet nobody can find me. If they even try.Complete
Words Of An Idle Mind
~this idle mind is no devil's workshop~ •••~•••~••• ||Featured on WATTPAD CHRONICLE -May2018 (wattpad's official monthly magazine)|| || Featured on WATTPAD CHRONICLE- July2018 (wattpad's official monthly magazine)|| ||Featured on @AmbassadorJP reading list (June 2018)|| ||Featured on 'Well Worth The Wait' Reading list of @UndiscoveredBooks || ||Winner of WATTFEST for JapanFest collaboration (May 2018)|| ||Winner of THE MYSTICAL AWARDS (2/6/18)|| ||Winner of The Golden Awards - Random (2018)|| •••~•••~••• *Poetry is not only about feelings, it's a religion based on views, emotions and insights.* This book is a collection of unconventional poems and excerpts. It has more than just words about love, loneliness, etc. •••~•••~••• Do give it a chance, i am sure you'll enjoy it. Please VOTE-COMMENT-SHARE as you read all the peices. Your insights on my work is like water in my bloodstream. It encourages me more to bring you better works. Highest rank: #22 In top 50 (5/4/18 - 13/5/18)Complete
A Deep Dive Into My Teenage Mind (From The Vault)
I decided to write a whole poetry collection that concurs everything that has been happening in my years on this planet. I've been going through things good and bad. I'm so happy to put this out on short occasion but I'm ready to get this out.Complete
Release
This is a collection of my writing from the past 7 years. Before I started to write, I was a very lost individual, as are most teens, but I was lost in darkness. I was too afraid to move anywhere at all. I hid in the dark, debilitated by my own anxiety, sadnesses, anger, and hopelessness. I was desperate to be loved and feared it the most, I was a coward, I was self-destructive, I would mentally bend my thoughts to the point of bordering insanity. I was born into this world alone, and got too comfortable with it. Maybe I still am, but a fraction of what I used to be. This writing is extremely vulnerable, and potentially disturbing to others, as all my weaknesses, strengths, obsessions with making every moment sentimental, the sickening desperation I've had, the destructiveness, and the constant brutal reconstruction of my mind. Without guidance, it's been absolute intense chaos. Though, there is beauty in the darkness. Everything can be found in the darkness. You'll find that through my writing, I've somehow slowly become exactly what I've written. A living representation of my writing and what I wanted to be. Without myself even knowing it. A lot of my writing themes are based around nature, or some kind of natural aspect. The imagery I paint with natural metaphors is constant, the animals, just like you and I, the plants, and all other living things. I planted these seeds in my mind, unknowingly at the time, where I now feel the deep dark green jungle pressing at the inner walls of my skull. It's all that I want to consume my mind. There's so much to learn. The magic of nature, and it's infinite wisdom. It's as if I have been on this path all along, and I didn't even know what I was doing, yet my body and mind were passively taking care of me. Giving me and eventually showing exactly what I want, and wanted to become. I have every moment, every instance of suffering, and every epiphany to be thankful for. Soon, I'll be at peace from the raging storm.Complete
Cap'n iZak Löw and His First Mate Zeni Corvera in the Reflective Auto Geneses
This is the Prequel to an epic novel series we are working on, lyrics and poem and psalms explaining the psychology bewixt the Mystic Artist and my Muse and Bride, Two Spirits who walk the Veil Between Worlds. Here we do our best to use world religions, history, ancient mysticism, our own poetry and "Wordsmything" and divining, astrology, psychological and neurological journey to discovering our sharing one body, and the beginning of our mind's organic introspective geneses of mythologies and prophecies surrounding both our inner microcosm, the Mirrored Cosmos, and the outer macrocosm, the Unreflected Cosmos-anchoring it to our own spiritual beliefs as Ashkenazi Kabbalist and Spanish Catholic Mystic. Zeniyah was murdered five miles west of my home at five years old when I was only one. Our mothers were the same age, same look and build, both alone for long periods of time, and fate had it that I survived instead of the girl who grew up alongside me as my guardian and wife. Obviously, our names are not the same as our past incarnations before we were reborn and married unto each other, both to protect our families and to underline the fact that since uniting as one flesh, we are not the same as we once were. Now, we recognise our beliefs are diverse and likely controversial to the wider world, which is why we wanted to publish them here first. We anchored ourselves to one another at the end of the Mayan Calendar, started awakening as Aquarian Ascendants when the Star of David reached its zenith in 2020, when the Age of Aquarius began. Any collaborative responses with respect and not harsh criticism are welcome, as we are trying to understand ourselves and how to approach telling our story as respectful to all beliefs as possible, to help others as much as us to grow and accept ourselves. The land where we grew up, which violent abuse is forcing us to leave, was originally Seminole land before ancestors of modern Anglo-Saxons here forced these tribes to leave as well.
"I'm desperately trying to heal myself." •. •. •. •. •. I strongly believe art isn't supposed to be pretty, or liked and understood by the masses. Art is supposed to make you uncomfortable, it's supposed to boggle your mind and touch your heart. And this is what I've done. Most of my words aren't pretty. They are the real ugly truths about the things and people around me. The factors that make me who I am. This is a bringing together of the most intimate tragedies and beauties I've discovered in my mind. A Complication of Poetry. © 2018meditatingineden •Highest Rank• #21 in memoir #60 in growth #22 in contemporary #37 In hidden treasures
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