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White Walls
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Continúa, Has publicado ago 28, 2014
Some people say that I'm dead inside . 
They would be wrong.
Some say I will never fit in anywhere . 
They would be wrong as well. 
Most say that I'm not even real , that I just ...have slipped the grasp of depression , and they would be right . This is a story of my love , my pain , my struggle , and my death . I was murdered in a hospital on a Saturday morning . My name is Triss Sparks and this is my story.
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Loneliness. Depression. Broken. Scared. Devastated. Hopeless. Mournful. Disheartening. Bleak. Joyless. Somber. I have no one. Depression and Loneliness are the only things I feel. My family tries to make me happy, but I just put on a fake smile and cry about it in my room. They act like everything is alright, but everything is not. They KNOW I was devastated about Mom's murder. They KNOW I was heartbroken about Dad's sickness that eventually killed him. That's all I've thought about. Devastation and heartbroken. Just because of those two things. Never in my life I have been this devastating. Dayton, Hayden, Angel, or Monica know how to make me truly happy. Not even my own siblings know how to make me show a real smile. Suicide is all I can think about day to day and I've almost died because of that. DEPRESSION IS A REAL THING. NO ONE KNOWS HOW I FEEL EVERYDAY. NO ONE CAN JUDGE OTHERS ABOUT DEPRESSION OR EVEN MAKE JOKES ABOUT IT BECAUSE ITS A REAL THING. DEPRESSION HAS KILLED PEOPLE. EVERYONE IN MY LIFE JUDGES ME JUST BECAUSE I DON'T SMILE, LAUGH, HUG, OR DO ANYTHING NORMAL PEOPLE DO. I CUT MYSELF, I CRY, I YELL, I VENT, I PUSH PEOPLE OUT OF MY LIFE. Those are the things people are worried about me. "Go kill yourself and join your parents in hell." They say and I just shrug it off and find a private place to hide and cry it out. "I CAN'T DEAL WITH LIFE ANYMORE!!!!" I say and I use my sharp nails and cut myself then cry some more. A gun is buried within my arm for defense from my dad, but I use it in case I am tired of society. Then that's when I met the Host Club. They saw my sadness and made me a part of it to repay my debt for accidentally breaking a vase. I am now a Host for men to flatter them, but how can normal guys want me to be a Host when I wear lip earrings, eyeliner, chains, and have a gun in my arm? I'm the definition of Hell. Then he made me smile again, something that I thought I would never get back. Happiness.
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All I want is to be alone. I wish that no one existed. My name is Zeina. I don't talk much. Not at all actually. Well not really. I sign or write things down in my notebook. I can speak. But I really only speak to those I trust. Today I'm gonna die. Don't feel bad for me, I am choosing my fate after all. Im tired of living. It's exhausting really living up to your own expectations and the expectations of others. I'm sick of shaving every inch of my limbs, plucking my eye brows, doing my hair, getting dress. Honestly I'm sick of people. My hair is long and dark brown with blonde in it. I have bangs that hang over my face and ever so slightly across my eyes. I don't have friends. My family sucks. So if you're reading this I have a question for you. Are you an outcast too. Everyday I come home from school, take sleeping pills, and go to sleep. Now I just want to sleep. Infinitely. (A/N I'm currently editing this!)