Sinning like a saint // BJA

"You've been weird with me for days now!" I shouted, "Why? Billie what happened between us? You won't even look at me any more, do i mean nothing to you or something?"

"-No! It's not like that-"

"-I've known you my whole life and now you act like you don't know me. Do you care about me?"

"Of course I do-"

"-then why are you staring at your converse right now?"

He looked up at me finally, his eyes meeting mine. "Because looking at you makes me nervous recently," he sighed lightly.

"Why?"

"I don't know. It's not that you don't mean anything to me because- by God phee you do. You're my BestFriend and I've always been myself around you but now I get all nervous and my stomatch starts feeling weird and-" he cut himself off as he stopped talking mid way through sentence.

"And?"

"I don't know. One moment I can't take my eyes off you then the next I'm scared to let them lay onto you,"

"Why? Billie it hurts when you don't look at me, why do you dodge my eyes when they try to meet yours?"

He breathed in lightly. He looked back down but made sure to quickly look back at me.

"It isn't that I won't look at you cause you don't mean any thing to me, I don't look at you sometimes because the impact your gaze gives me now, scares me. You make me feel all tingly and gooey. And it scares me."

"Why does that scare you?"

"Cause I've never felt this way before, i don't even know what it means," his eyes looked back down at the floor. And instead of getting angry about it i let them. Because I understood why they were scared to look at me. I make him feel new feelings he's never even knew exsisted, and he doesn't like it. he doesn't even know what those feelings are.

And call me crazy, but maybe he loved me too, not in the friendly way. Maybe he loved me but he didn't realise.

He looked back up to me, he gave me a half hearted smile before he spoke up again. "Seeing you use to be so easy, but now you breathe and i turn to stone."