Slipping into Nothingness

You have to. You will finally find a guy to love you...all you have to do is take the first step. You will become thinner and more attractive. It's just one meal...you won't even miss it...come on, Brie, you can do it. That's all I could hear in my head as I lie on this uncommfortable bed with white walls surrounding me. How did I end up here? Was feeling loved really worth everything I lost? How did that internal voice end up becoming my own? I would look in the mirror and my mouth was moving, but I heard her voice coming from my mouth. Was she my internal thoughts? Did I really think those nasty thoughts about myself? Was I really that ugly and disgusting? Why do I feel so cold lying here? Maybe because I'm nothing but skin and bones, but I'm pretty now so what does it matter if I freeze? The biggest question of all is: Why did I take that first step and slipped into nothingness?