Lifestyle
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- Parts 14
MatureOngoing1h 17m
Last published Fri, Mar 26, 2021
I thought I had my life figured out, but something felt like it was missing, my best friend helped me figure that out one night.
Along the way things got difficult, damaged, and ruined.
I never thought my life would be on the line. Never thought that I would get hurt so bad that I'd be raped and have ptsd. Especially by someone I trusted or well thought that I trusted.
I never thought I'd end up with two bikers from two different mcs.
Both of these men, these big, brutal, tattooed, hunk of men save me from being killed, and better yet save me from myself when every nightmare hits when I close my eyes.
They are the reason I'm still here, the reason I still fight, the reason why my heart belongs to them.
*TRIGGER WARNING*
This story has sexual acts, mentions rape and torture. Not something someone under the age of 18 should read. For mature adults only.
All Rights Reserved
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Ink & Steel
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The world is ending and I have unlimited supplies
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Devil in Disguise
I take another gulp of my crown and coke trying to forget the last few hours of work. I'm at the lowest I've ever been in my life. I've always been responsible but for once I don't care and just needed a break so I found myself here at this bar in the not so good part of town. I wanted a place where no one would recognize me and I found it. I take another gulp and finish my drink. "Mind if I sit?" I hear him say. His voice is smooth but masculine. I know his type before I even turn to see him. I signal the bartender for another one ignoring him. I hear his foot steps retreat and I'm a little surprised. I thought he'd put more effort like the last few guys before him but I guess not. The bartender brings me another and I look up, my curiosity getting the best of me. Damn, he's sex in a suit. I take a big drink to calm my nerves, feeling the effects of the liquor. He sat two stools away and is ordering for himself. I scan his body. He's got a tattoo peaking out of his collar and he's dressed in a three piece suit and tie, all black. Screw it, I think and walk over careful not to lose my balance. After a few drinks it's harder than I thought and I almost trip. The alcohol in me is making me brave so I keep going. He looks like a dark Angel or is he the Devil in disguise I wonder? I don't know but he picked the right night, because I just found my release. Hope you're intrigued, keep reading!
Spaghetti
In the summer of 2020, as I was bawling my eyes out in the parking lot of a bakery, I opened my notes app on my phone and began to document. I was documenting the times I was unhappy with my partner and wanted to leave. I have no idea what prompted me to do this; maybe I did it as a way to vent, or perhaps to ensure I wouldn't forget. I don't know, but I did. I had no idea what would become of this list. Or that five years later, I would not only still be documenting, but I would have uncovered so much. The lies, the cheating, the stealing, and most importantly, the deception. I have been with my partner for a total of 15 years, making this realization shocking. I was in the process of writing a book about my life as it was, unaware that this list would take over a huge part of the narrative. I was writing a book on how I escaped childhood abuse, and little did I know I went from one abuser to the next. I wanted to share my story so maybe someone else like me won't end up in this situation, but also to answer the age-old question, "Why did she not just leave?" I will release The List, bit by bit, here. The list is raw and typically written when I was in the worst state of my life. It can be hard to read, and if you ever need to step away, please take care of yourself and do so. The List is vital in understanding why I stayed and what thoughts I was having. The List is just the first part; there is a second part that was originally intended to be the main book. I had planned for the main book to have a happy ending. However, that was not the case. Instead of a happy ending, I discovered a nightmare.
The Day I Turned To Stone
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I woke to a sudden breeze invading the warmth from the heavy blanket that caressed my skin. Here, alone with my thoughts, the still, calm quiet in the atmosphere is almost painful. I feel suffocated in the clingy, static air. In quiet, still moments like these, I can almost feel Him. I don't know who "Him" is, but I can feel his presence. It's almost calming, especially on fearful, anxiety fueled nights. Usually, he was the strongest when I had a nightmare. The nightmares weren't as common now, but, right after everything happened, I was having them every night. I'd wake up and swear I was drenched in blood, my eyes and lips sticky, my nose filled with the smell of iron and fuel. After everything, that's when Him first came. From there, he just never left. I can usually sense when Him is near. Today, though, his presence is stronger. I can almost feel Him next to me, weighing down the mattress. Some nights, I roll over and imagine how he looks, envision his smile or the sparkle in his eyes. He's never there and I'm left clutching to the thought that he exists, staring into empty air. Tonight, though, I swear I can reach out and touch him. Extending my hand gently, I sweep my hand out into the darkness and meet an inexplicable warmth. A scream rips from my lungs as hands cover my face and two icy blue eyes stare back at me, daring me to speak again. A soft cloth caressed my nose and mouth before I felt myself fade into bed. All Rights Reserved. Contains graphic descriptions of violence and assault. Contains battle scene.
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