Darkest Defender (Revamped)

What if, at times, it's darkness that has to defend us?

All of my life I believed happiness was a lie, that it was a dream I would never reach, a wish my heart yearned for, but my mind knew was impossible to fulfill. All of my life I had only known sorrow, darkness, fear, terror. It was always about knowing what to not say, what to think, or when to stay quiet. One little word could cost my safety. One wrong move could cost my life's chess game. Everything had to be perfectly calculated. I was forced to be ten steps ahead if I was to survive another day.
So you can imagine my surprise when someone suddenly appears and tells me I can be happy and have peace? That there are people out there that actually care for me without even knowing who I truly am?

Y' know what my first reaction was? I tried to kill them, and I would have, if I had been stronger.

Suddenly I was pulled into a world much more dangerous than what I was already living. Oh, and I found out the reason my family really wanted me was to have control over my abilities and make me some braniac's defender and maid. Brilliantly executed plan, don't you think?
Now I'm supposed to be someone's savior and do something good with my life, for the first time. But what happens when you can't use good to fight evil? What happens when what can really defeat darkness isn't light, but darkness itself? And what if what we thought we were doing correctly, was wrong all along?

Because who are we to say that what is good is right? And who are we to say that evil can't be good itself?
The way I see it, evil is my answer. And, like in any chess game, when you move the pieces around correctly-what do you get?

Exactly;
Checkmate.
.........

"Alexa, we are the good guys. We protect other people and make them feel peace and safe. We don't go around killing others, even if they're at fault, it's wrong!"

I looked down at my hand before staring into his eyes, and speaking my mind. "But...what if I want to be bad?"