It Wasn't Always A Sunflower

It Wasn't Always A Sunflower

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Tue, Jun 23, 2020
I didn't believe in soulmates, not until I met you. We dated, and I didn't think it would ever end- till it did. Serotonin levels dropped, sweatpants were busted out, and Netflix and chill turned into sad, lonely binge re-watchings on my couch. Then, of course, I became a potato, i.e. stage 3 of breakups (refresher: sniveling wreck, Netflix binger, potato.) How does one go from potato to functional human again? A potato discovers.
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#477
forgiveness
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It was October 2023, and my now-ex-fiance had moved out of our trailer for good. I decided to end our relationship and thought I had emotionally moved on from them. I was wrong-dead wrong. What followed them moving out was something I could not have ever thought to experience. I began to experience extreme mood swings, controlling behavior, self-esteem issues, and a new-found addiction to alcohol. This was just the tip of the iceberg, as I was constantly flirting with suicide on a daily basis. I could not begin to even tell you about how I went through an emo phase, a "man hoe" phase, and multiple other phases as well due to my deteriorating mental health. I began to document my everyday life after our split through two separate journals over a twelve-month span. This is the true tale of how a breakup brought me to the realization that I was an abuser and that I became the same monster that I swore not to become as a kid. This is how trauma ruined my life, and how it will ruin yours too.

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