Staring At You Passionately
  • Reads 95
  • Votes 11
  • Parts 4
  • Time 27m
  • Reads 95
  • Votes 11
  • Parts 4
  • Time 27m
Ongoing, First published May 18, 2020
"This will be the last time Jacob" I mournfully told him while sobbing and touching his face.

While my palm is in his cheek, I look directly to his eyes, it's still the same emerald expressive pair of eyes where I deeply fell in love with.

"I bid you my goodbye, Jacob! For I am a wildflower in the garden that will never be yours"

Not all of my memory with you are treasured happily, it's filled with hidden misconceptions, half-faced beaming and tormented victory

I woke up crying endlessly, I found myself dumbfounded it took me a long time to regain my composure. As I checked the clock, ticking boundless same with my thoughts, it's three twenty-five am.

have you ever been in a war?

A Battlefield without guns, bombs, and tanks
A battle without reinforcement, aide, and assurance of living
A Battlefield full of thorned disappointments, the unending firing of insecurities, throwing of exploding pressure and a Burj Khalifa building high wall of expectations

No one understands me, for they're not experiencing what I have here in my mind, whispering day to night, thoughts circling and running back and forth.

The memory is still vivid, a wide array of melancholic perspective is what I perceived

What a cruel twist in my life, a complete 360, I am firmly hugged by disconsolately mournful dark clouds, few weeks after battling with my mind I slowly regained my composure as I put a little solace in my crestfallen soul, little do I know it's a temporary solution.

A never-ending cycle of battle,
A lonesome and not a wholesome battle
A battle of mental toughness
A battle where I am slowly losing;
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I fell in love with the utmost beauty of you,the deepest truth of you...yet I was never noticed. ____________________________________________________________________________________ Jai easily accepted he loves his best friend, slowly falling deeper into the feelings. Feeling swoons and what not. First crush hits different,right? Especially when your crush is your bff and you got to know he has a crush too,who is not you and little did you always knew it was never gonna be you. Either you have to erase the feelings or keep hurting for the rest of your life. But life wants you miserable,and now you are worse than that. Would Jai ever get over or will fall in the void deeper and alone. This is how it feels to love your best friend. TW: includes smut, smoking and very poorly written ( &so many grammatical mistakes so feel free to correct and teach me ). Plus, English isn't my first language so this is going to be a disaster, I can not even speak my first language properly so yeah, this sure will be one :). COMPLETED‼️‼️