Staring At You Passionately

"This will be the last time Jacob" I mournfully told him while sobbing and touching his face.

While my palm is in his cheek, I look directly to his eyes, it's still the same emerald expressive pair of eyes where I deeply fell in love with.

"I bid you my goodbye, Jacob! For I am a wildflower in the garden that will never be yours"

Not all of my memory with you are treasured happily, it's filled with hidden misconceptions, half-faced beaming and tormented victory

I woke up crying endlessly, I found myself dumbfounded it took me a long time to regain my composure. As I checked the clock, ticking boundless same with my thoughts, it's three twenty-five am.

have you ever been in a war?

A Battlefield without guns, bombs, and tanks
A battle without reinforcement, aide, and assurance of living
A Battlefield full of thorned disappointments, the unending firing of insecurities, throwing of exploding pressure and a Burj Khalifa building high wall of expectations

No one understands me, for they're not experiencing what I have here in my mind, whispering day to night, thoughts circling and running back and forth.

The memory is still vivid, a wide array of melancholic perspective is what I perceived

What a cruel twist in my life, a complete 360, I am firmly hugged by disconsolately mournful dark clouds, few weeks after battling with my mind I slowly regained my composure as I put a little solace in my crestfallen soul, little do I know it's a temporary solution.

A never-ending cycle of battle,
A lonesome and not a wholesome battle
A battle of mental toughness
A battle where I am slowly losing;