Prologue: He didn't love nor care...but it felt good for me to hear it. They never cared. Not like how mama cares. No no-they'll never care like my mother. And I won't allow anyone to tell me her murder was just another suicide...I know my mother and I know she'd never take her own life...right? She'd loved me too much right? She wanted to be there for my graduation and celebrate a wonderful life I had planned right? Get her the house she envisioned, like promised. "I'll still be strong for you mama..." Its funny to see a man try, replace the love...make this void go away. And I pretend every time as if he's my perfect "savior". They want to get closer but I can't let them. Why should I? So they can take advantage of my pain. Use it against? Knock me off my grind. Strip me of my dignity and take control of my sorrow as I believe the lies I hear from a unfaithful bastard who's no where near deserving of my happiness. Oh no no! I'd never let him in just to be another let down. Never.