Vanilla's Poser Girl
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- Parts 36
"What makes you think you're already in love? You haven't even met that Zero."
Natawa naman ako sa kaibigan kong si Leigh habang inaayos ko yung sintas ng sapatos ko.
"Why Leigh? Do you fall in love at first sight? Hindi naman din di ba? Saka sabi mo, fall in love with the character. That's why I think I'm falling for this Zero."
"You don't even know him yet, Van."
"Exactly. Kaya nga ako naeexcite e. It seems that we don't know each other yet. But we can already feel the connection as if we've known each other for a long time."
Natahimik naman ito doon. Pagkatapos ay sinimulan na din magpalit ng jersey.
"Just slow down. You might find yourself breaking. Mamaya gamitin ka lang nyan."
Umismid naman ako.
"Gaya ng mga exes mo? Y'know what's wrong with you, Leigh? Pinangungunahan mo lahat. That's why no one can keep up with your standards."
"Hey, I'm just saying if what if he's a psycho? A stalker? A hooker?"
Tumawa naman ako dito. She's really paranoid.
"Just step out of your safe zone, Leigh. You're already missing the most exciting part of life."
"Slowing down isn't always bad, Vanilla."
"Yeah, but look at you. Seriously? Continous failed relationships?"
"Ikaw din naman a. Why aren't you finding the right one yet?"
"I already found him. That's zero. I can feel the connection. He guesses everything about me perfectly. Like all of my favorites and quirks that only you and the girls can tell." I gave her an elated smile. "So, back off. And just be happy for me. Okay?"
"What if that's a stalker or a paparazzi that already run a background check with you?"
"Ang negative mo, Leigh. Seriously, just fall in love and get a life."
Ngumiti ito ng nakakaloko.
"Okay, so what will you do if that Zero is a girl?"
Natigilan naman ako.
"You're not Zero, are you?"
"Of course not."
Nakahinga naman ako.
"As long as it's not you, I'm okay."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to end up with a puppet like you. Yikes! A barbie doll of everyone."
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"'Di ba sabi mo ay wala ka pang nagiging boyfriend?" pagkuway tanong nito. "Wala pa nga." "Pero nagka crush ka man lang ba?" "Hmm. Oo. Pero ayaw ko kasing maging emotionally attached kaya as much as possible ay pinapatay ko na agad ang feelings ko. Kasi. Ewan. Hindi ko alam kung paano i-explain." ang complicated talaga kapag hindi mo masabi 'yung nais mong sabihin no? 'Yung parang ikaw lang mismo ang nakakaintindi. "Parang hindi ka naniniwala?" "Parang gano'n na nga. I mean, alam mo naniniwala naman talaga ako, it's just that, syempre sa mga kagaya ko parang ang imposible lang ng idea na 'yan especially when if comes to same sex relationship. Siguro para sa iba ay nagwo-work pero sa'kin ay-you know, hopeless ako riyan. Kaya kapag may nakikita akong mga same sex couples ay naiinggit ako tapos ang ending mag i-imagine ako ng mga bagay na mag c-cause ng ikasasakit ko ng feelings ko kasi 'di ba marerealize mo na hindi naman ito sa'yo mangyayari. Minsan din ay na i-insecure na lang ako. Tsaka mostly rin kasi ay puro sex lang ang habol nila. Ayoko naman no'n." mahaba kong salaysay. "Kaya pala." nasabi niya na lang. "Siguro dahil ito na rin ang naging coping mechanism ko para maprotektahan ko ang feelings ko sa mga bagay na makasasakit sa akin emotionally. Unconciously ay nadedevelop ko na. Kaya ang ending na suppress na lang. Kaysa naman mag suffer ako sa mga sarili ko lang namang pag-iisip which is not healthy, why not i-suppress ko na lang diba?" "Pero hindi mo ba naisip na it takes time to wait for the perfect moment and it will be worth it?" "Alam mo. Sa totoo lang, palagi ko 'yang naiisip. Talagang na o-overshadow lang ng realization ko na imposibleng mangyari." "Pero, heto ka ngayon. Susubukan mo nang magmahal sa kabila ng beliefs mo." aniya. "Kasi may tiwala ako sa'yo." napangiti ako sa kanya kaya napangiti rin siya.Complete
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Loving Aria
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Trapped with the Cactus-Lover
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Alam mo 'yung feeling na wala ka namang ginagawang masama, pero parang pinagtitripan ka ng universe? Yung tipong isang maling liko mo lang, biglang ang daming domino effect na sumasabog sa mukha mo? Gano'n ang ganap sa buhay ko. Once upon a time, I was just an average girl-well, not-so-average dahil certified independent woman tayo, mga besh. I had a decent job, a stable life, and a heart that was very much closed for renovation. Bakit? Kasi my ex-boyfriend ghosted me. As in, bigla na lang nawala, walang pasabi, walang closure, walang anything. Eh di syempre, bilang matinong babae, I did what any rational human being would do-nag-move on nang slight. Pero 'di ko akalain na sa kagustuhan kong iwasan ang lalaking sinaktan ako, biglang may ibang lalaki namang ipapatapon sa buhay ko ang tadhana. At saang lugar pa? Sa isang hotel room. With a stranger. At hindi lang basta-bastang lalaki, kundi isang nakakagigil na tao na later on, malalaman kong magiging bagong boss ko. Yes. Alam kong wala akong luck sa love life, pero bakit pati sa career, pinaglalaruan ako ng tadhana? This is the story of how one mistake-one embarrassing, nakakahiya, and downright WORST moment of my life-turned into something I never expected. Welcome to my Sweetest MistakeComplete
LETTERS OF HEART(Completed)
"Nazy wait. Oy teka lang. Wag ka naman ganyan."-salamat at nahabol ko siya. Ngayon ay hawak ko na yung braso niya. "Laren bitawan mo ko please. Ok lang yun. Congrats nga pala ha. K-kayo na p-pala ni Mi-miss Chiyuu. Hehe."-nakatalikod padin siya sa akin and now I know she's definitely crying. Nag-automatic yung katawan ko na parang magnet at humarap sa kanya sabay niyakap ko agad. I don't want to see her crying for some false conclusion. "Sssh. Stop crying. I and Chiyuu are not on."-yakap ko siya ng mahigpit niyan. "I'm not in the position for being like this."-Nazy and then humigpit yung yakap ko sa kanya. "Stop saying like that because you are in position."-ako. She stops crying and look straight in my eyes. I only smile at her and then she hugs me so tight after that. I hope she knew what I'm trying say. N/A: Author (Meah) --It is just a part of the story and I'll sure all of you it is worth it to be read-- " .. Love is like a plane... It will crushed and it will surely fall sometimes but the thing is that the objective of a plane is to keep on flying till heaven reach and till destination is not yet to come .. "Complete
Mamihlapinatapai
"You may not want to be in my head. You might find someone other than myself that you won't be able to forget. It'll haunt you like a nightmare you can't tell. " "Silly. What's in that tough demeanor, ate Cray?" tumawa lang si Ember at kumapit ulit sa braso ko. "I like you. That's enough right?" Napailing na lang ako sa inaasal nito. If she'll learn our history, she'll then understand. Pinalis ko yung kamay nitong nakakapit na naman sa braso ko. "Compose yourself, Ember. I don't like you. You're just like a sister to me. Someone I had to protect with my life." I caught the way those words cut through her. It's visible in the same set of lifeless coal eyes that I am most familiar with. "Bakit?" I stared at her blankly. "Atleast tell me what you don't like about me." "That's exactly why it hurts the way it hurts." Napangiti ako ng mapait. "You have too many questions, too many words, in your head. But those will be left unsaid. Like me, you have to suffer through the intricacy of feeling too much every single day of your life. It hurts like hell." "Damn you. I like you." "You like me for what?" "You. You're not like everyone else. You're so sure of yourself. You're clever. You're self-made. You're everything. Everyone likes you. So you should be mine." I laughed at how shallow those things meant for her. Someone who can't even meet me in the depths of my shattered soul. "Thanks. But those are all my disorder." As i was about to turn my back, she whispered, "I actually feel sorry for you. You still don't know what it was that you even had. And yet still choose to lose. But one day, you'll see me for who I really am. And you're going to hate yourself for turning me down." No, Ember. You're wrong. I know you. You don't know me. Our past will surely haunt us. For you, I'll just be a girl known by everyone. But in fact, known by no one. It's terrible isn't it? The way we throw people away. ****Complete
"'Di ba sabi mo ay wala ka pang nagiging boyfriend?" pagkuway tanong nito. "Wala pa nga." "Pero nagka crush ka man lang ba?" "Hmm. Oo. Pero ayaw ko kasing maging emotionally attached kaya as much as possible ay pinapatay ko na agad ang feelings ko. Kasi. Ewan. Hindi ko alam kung paano i-explain." ang complicated talaga kapag hindi mo masabi 'yung nais mong sabihin no? 'Yung parang ikaw lang mismo ang nakakaintindi. "Parang hindi ka naniniwala?" "Parang gano'n na nga. I mean, alam mo naniniwala naman talaga ako, it's just that, syempre sa mga kagaya ko parang ang imposible lang ng idea na 'yan especially when if comes to same sex relationship. Siguro para sa iba ay nagwo-work pero sa'kin ay-you know, hopeless ako riyan. Kaya kapag may nakikita akong mga same sex couples ay naiinggit ako tapos ang ending mag i-imagine ako ng mga bagay na mag c-cause ng ikasasakit ko ng feelings ko kasi 'di ba marerealize mo na hindi naman ito sa'yo mangyayari. Minsan din ay na i-insecure na lang ako. Tsaka mostly rin kasi ay puro sex lang ang habol nila. Ayoko naman no'n." mahaba kong salaysay. "Kaya pala." nasabi niya na lang. "Siguro dahil ito na rin ang naging coping mechanism ko para maprotektahan ko ang feelings ko sa mga bagay na makasasakit sa akin emotionally. Unconciously ay nadedevelop ko na. Kaya ang ending na suppress na lang. Kaysa naman mag suffer ako sa mga sarili ko lang namang pag-iisip which is not healthy, why not i-suppress ko na lang diba?" "Pero hindi mo ba naisip na it takes time to wait for the perfect moment and it will be worth it?" "Alam mo. Sa totoo lang, palagi ko 'yang naiisip. Talagang na o-overshadow lang ng realization ko na imposibleng mangyari." "Pero, heto ka ngayon. Susubukan mo nang magmahal sa kabila ng beliefs mo." aniya. "Kasi may tiwala ako sa'yo." napangiti ako sa kanya kaya napangiti rin siya.
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