Her Story - By Sayli Chinchole

This Story states my journey to writing/poetry world.
It's 7 years into this. All these ups and downs, all the walls build around my desire to come into whole new world. Beneath the surface of that "you need to earn money", lies my world. Where its just about my desire to grow. The ups and downs, the crowd and chaos, the railway lines that bring me to monday blues. A wall build around me, resides a shy "ME".There were times, I walked on the street lanes with no lights. I murmured to myself in my dreams. I had breakups, I had breakdowns, but. Yes there's always but to every situation my writing kept me going. Everyday I woke up and realised I'm losing myself, I'm losing the anxiety. I'm drained in Sanity.

But today, I woke up. And felt nothing. This feeling of nothingness gives me hope. Gives me the desire to love again, love myself again.
These flowers blooming, these birds chirping give me the hope for another day.
This nothingness feels so still. As if it's the end. End of the new beginning. Beginnings feel special, the restart feels special. I was into a lot, but its all the end.

I'm restarting it again. Restarting my journey with myself.
I'm writing as it's my favourite song. It's Eid today, yet I feel the anxious feeling of getting a new life. I have changed. I don't like anymore. I don't walk the same. I don't love the way I did. I don't want it. Yet it is all around me. I'm not trusting more, may be its just the end of my survival.

But, there are always those buts that do not let my conversation to end. I want to speak a lot, yet I want someone to hear it. Someone who would just give me all their time, I'm anxious, yet surviving. I m drowning in the sea of desires. Waiting.