loves disaster

everyone has different definitions of what love is. Growing up i wanted a love story from t.v. , the one where the parents held and loved their children. however that was a silly thing to want. i got a drunk for a mother who beat me and loved herself more than anyone else. As a early teenager i thought love was a guy chasing after a girl. As a later teenager love was made up and something id never find.
now as a 20 year old it is something i don't understand. its a fascinating mystery everybody wants to solve, so much so that they all try so hard only to be disappointed. but its out there. some people have cracked the code. then again perhaps i have watched one to many movies.