My life is still as dreary and unforgiving as the day I killed my soul mate, Jason, and of course the man that started it all.... J But the last promise I had made to Jason still resonates throughout me as I try to forgive myself. Lately this task seems impossible, but it is also plausible that I am forgetting how to truly live. I eat, sleep, and talk on occasion; however, these are just motions I go through so that I may seem more normal to the outside world. I am not yet the girl I used to be. I am no longer Alexandra, but my life has still not progressed enough that I have been able to become Josephine. So I stay Josie until I can become what I have lost.