How Evil Am I?

I supposed to have a dream,
A dream never led by any other,
It is a dream I contained,
And the secrets of that never revealed.
The dark nights that I never cried,
The escapism that I maintained,
Others fate had I abducted?
But I always had my share of happiness contained and sometimes more than I deserved
Oh! What a shame, I lamented
Had I become the worst, i examined,
Have I loved or abandoned, the responsibility that I bequeathed, I questioned!
Do I have tears of joy or tears of sorrow,
Tell me how much evil am I?