I'm not your Barbie

"I suggest you know these four things before even approaching Barbie,

!) I'm not stupid. I even keep a diary, meaning that I'm not so much of an airhead that I forget what happens to me the same day. For example, five minutes ago I slapped Ken for taking the words, "you can touch, you can play," from the song 'Barbie Girl' by Aqua seriously.
2) I hate that I have my own doll, and that I can be dressed. More horrifyingly, undressed. And Mattel decided to make a doll of my ex, Ken, meaning hyppothetically, we kiss ALL the time.
3)I'm not even blonde. I'm a redhead.
4) My real name is no way in hell Barbie. It's Barbara. I hate it."
Yes, Barbie's real. She has a life, albeit a hectic one, filled with players who think she'll not only fall for them, but into their arms, and people who only want to know the image.
This is the real Barbie.