End of the Line

Most of the time, I blame myself for being born a girl. In this patriarchal society where men should be dominant, and women should be submissive, it is indeed difficult to breathe. As I reached maturity, I have come to realize that being born a girl has a lot of guts to take and dignity to swallow. I allow my tatay to torment me, ridicule me, and let his kainuman to harass me. I tried to protect myself, but because I live in a patriarchal society, it's no use - I should be submissive.

But there's this guy who saved me from my wretched life. When I needed him, he was always there, always ready to make me happy considering the emotional pain my tatay brought me. He's my best friend, my first crush, my knight-in-shining-armor, my savior, and my most favorite person. Little did we know that it was our love for each other that would destroy us both.

They say that love is worth taking the risk. So after years of searching for myself, I met this wonderful guy. The past still haunts me, but he helps me forget it, little by little. Still, there are secrets I dare not to share, not because I don't trust him, but because he's going to hurt me if he knows it, just like what tatay did to me.

Most of the time, I blame myself for being born a girl. But all of the time, I blame myself for making the wrong decisions. I should not submit myself to men because I am a strong woman. I should fight for my right; I should not let others ruin me, nor am I going to let them break me.

Should I?

Then he came back, begging for forgiveness, begging for a fresh start. I still make the wrong decisions, and I'm afraid he might end up resenting me if I chose to give him a fresh start. So what have I done? I've abandoned him.

This ought to be the end of the line, isn't it?

Book cover photo from: Pinterest. (ctto)