Story cover for To Die, To Live by jhiyancarl
To Die, To Live
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    Time 1h 24m
  • WpView
    Reads 166
  • WpVote
    Votes 5
  • WpPart
    Parts 5
  • WpHistory
    Time 1h 24m
Ongoing, First published Jun 02, 2020
Mature
Elias' life was far from exemplary. The world had treated him so harshly that it left him feeling numb and lifeless inside. At such a young age, he had experienced horrors that most could never fathom. Alone and isolated, he learned to use his physical prowess to fight and kill just to survive, often trapped in a cycle of incarceration.

On a rainy night, he made the decision to take his own life, believing it was the only way to end his suffering. However, his suicide plan was unexpectedly interrupted when he was saved by a weapon-trafficking organization and recruited into the leader's elite group.

Over the years of working, it was then that he uncovered a secret about the enigmatic leader, a man he had perceived as unpredictable and invincible. This leader was revealed to be suffering from Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder (CSBD), which caused a person to lose control against their own sexual impulses.

This revelation stirred unfamiliar and impure emotions within Elias, igniting a spark in his previously cold heart.  Forced to confront the darker aspects of his own psyche and sexuality, the idea of dominating a person with the same sex is both new and terrifying for him - especially if that person is the prominent leader of a well-known underground organization that he is serving.
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Jason Williams didn't think going out to dinner with his family was going to be any different than usual. Comments about his sexuality, some teasing from his brothers, and lots of paparazzi. You know, nothing strange at all. But a fight with his father made Jason storm out of the restaurant, down an alleyway, and suddenly his life isn't the usual anymore. He woke up in an unfamiliar dark room, and a handsome boy opened his door to explain. The snowy-haired genius was holding him captive until he got what he wanted. Life couldn't be worse. Warning: This book contains mental issues such as depression, schizophrenia, and others. If you're sensitive to that kind of thing, then you should probably think twice before reading this. Of course, if you want to read it and you're sensitive, I'm not stopping you. This book only touches upon the subjects; It doesn't go deep into suicide attempts and voices. Remember despite the hate these mental illnesses receive, I believe you. Mental illnesses are no joke, they're not something I try to use for views. I am not hating on the illnesses. I know it's hard, but they are relevant to the book so I had to include them. If you're feeling depressed, please talk to a counsellor. Or, if you're too scared for that, I'll happily listen and give you advice. Thank you! (I needed to include this because I didn't want people thinking I thought the mental illnesses were stupid. I don't, I promise. I love you, and I need you to keep fighting!)
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{This book has been published on August 12th, 2025. Read the full book on Kindle Unlimited!} His tone was low, "So you're jealous?" His lips looked so soft. "Of the guy who is good at everything without putting in an ounce of work? Yeah, maybe I am." "You wanna know what else is effortless?" Javier challenged. I bit my bottom lip. "What?" "My feelings for you." - To work so hard for something and then watch someone else do it better effortlessly is infuriating. That was definitely the case for Elias. Elias Richardson wanted to be the best at something, academics was what he chose. With a lot of hard work and dedication, he achieved his goal. So, when Javier Cortez came along and started showing him up at everything he did, he became furious. Now everything that they do is a competition, whether Javier knows it or not. But somewhere along the line that hate filled competition begins to turn into undeniable feelings that take a lot less effort. - {TW⚠️: This book contains heavy depictions of alcoholism, verbal abuse, mental health struggles, mature themes and strong language. Please don't read if this will affect you} {Cover by @sugararmy07} #1 in #rivalstolovers 5/24/25 #1 in #comingoutofthecloset 6/17/25 #1 in #boyxboy 7/4/25 #1 in #enemiestolovers 7/4/25