My Happy Ever After

My Happy Ever After

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Sat, Jun 6, 2020
People nowadays hope to have their own happy ending. A fairy tale. Young, old, men, women, LGBT's dreams of having a happy life. Well who wouldn't want a story with a happy ending? Reality does that to you. When life throw shits at you. You start questioning what good has life to offer to you. What will happen now? What will happen next? Will this ever end? Will you ever be happy? Is there someone who will help you carry the burden of life? Someone who will make you happy and give the happy ending your heart is yearning for? A fairy tale-like story.. Where there's a typical damsel in distress who's in need of a handsome, brave knight in shining armor who will sweep off her feet and save her from the distresses of her life. But who is she kidding? As she grow older, it became much clearer to her that fairy tales are just myths. And from the word itself are just TALES of FAIRIES.. And fairies doesn't exist. Just a fragment of a brilliant imagination of someone. Period! Perhaps, a story like what she read in pocket books and novels? In what she watched in movies, dramas, series? Hmm A modern version of a fairy tale as some say. But a girl can hope, yeah? Well, she got what she hoped for. So good to be true that she might be dreaming . And one day, she woke up from that beautiful dream. And tried to dream again and again but to no avail she didn't have the same dream again. And tried again. Hoping.. Until she become hopeless . Or so she thought. Maybe it's true that the heart can't be possibly be tired of being broken over and over again just like how it never gets tired of pumping blood. It just rest.. Being mended.. and ready to fight again together with other Hopefuls. Just like her. Waiting. Wishing. Hoping...
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YuanFen

What we have is just now. As long as she loves me. As long as she wants to be with me. As long as there is 'we'. I love her! But the rainbow is not just a blend of vibrant and bright colors. It doesn't even stay for a long period of time-- just enough for us to see and in a fleet of time is gone, leaving us wondering if it's real. A rainbow doesn't have black and white. It wasn't just like that. Same as love. Same as us. There were times that i want to give her up. Not because my love did fade, rather, my love is too much. Too much that letting her go is the only option left for her to choose me without hesitation, without guilt, freed of lies. I want her to grow, to weigh things as it is. I want her to make me feel that being with me is her choice. I want her to realize that i am hers and that she have to surrender herself to me as well. I want her to love me because that is the way she feels and not because it was the safest way. Being with her is paradise. It was a mixture of colored pastel. It was too vibrant to explain. But at a sudden twist of downs and ups, we are shaking. Loving her has become my weakness. The weakening thought of losing her when I fuck up is too much to run me insane. I'm overreacting perhaps. But being with her, means walking in a narrow-road of heaven. There's no security, no assurance. One wrong move, and I'll be slipping away. Just in the never ending pain of darkness, of solitude, of self-struggle. Loving her has become my addiction. I couldn't get enough of it. But so they say, what's too much can cause harm. Maybe I'm loving her too much that she finds it hard to breathe when i'm around. But yes, it is just a wishful thinking; things that I'll surely not going to say to her because i will never ever earn the courage to say so. We are just nothing but a 'fateful coincidence.'

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