the story of a boy and a girl who rely on each other to keep one another alive emotionally and physically.
//
"It wasn't just a kiss, Lila," I say, cutting her off, not wanting her to think that I view it that way at all.
I've known that from the second I walked away from her and how angry I was that I was feeling something so drastic as a result. My heart was racing immensely and it infuriated me. I was so fucking pissed that I acted on impulse and kissed the girl.
Lila doesn't say anything, handing over the floor to me in order for me to give my side of the story. After all, I've hardly given her an explanation regarding it and she deserves that at the very least.
"I've been wanting to do it again ever since that night," I admit to her, a breath leaving my lips. "I've held back every urge every time you've challenged me, every time you've looked at me a certain way, every time you smiled a bit wider whenever you saw me, every time you-"
She cuts me off immediately, as if in fear of where this conversation is heading, "You're my lieutenant."
I don't hesitate in response, "What if I want to be more than that?"
"What's that?"
The boy quickly brought his hand to the girl's cheek, softly brushing over the purple skin, determined to not hurt her. But she still winced slightly under his touch.
"Nothing." Her voice sounded broken and scared when she pulled away quickly. She didn't want to face him like that.
The boy's expression softened immediately, his eyes full of worry.
"Was it him?"
"I tripped and fell down the stairs."
"Why don't you leave him?"
When she looked at her best friend, with so much sadness and concern, paired with anger for the boy who caused her all this pain, in his eyes, she felt her heart shatter.
"I love him."
He shook his head slowly. "No, you don't. You love the idea of him."
[Trigger warning: this story contains talking about triggering topics, such as abusive and toxic relationships.]
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