Dealing With My Self - shenkimt - Wattpad

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Dealing With My Self

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Parts 18

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Parts 18

despression freedom problem related self struggle suffering

i wished i'll go crazy, because i feel like being crazy will free my mind thinking all the problem in my life, will free me to think on my day to day life, will free me from thinking what will happened on the next day of my  life, will free me on what other people judgement, will free me to think on people expectation on me, will free me to get a job for my future, will free me to think what to eat everyday, will free me from all the suffering that is happening to me every single day. it so hard to live in this kind of world were everyone judge you for not being what they expect you to be. i really wished to stop this kind of feeling.All Rights Reserved

despression freedom problem related self struggle suffering

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18 parts

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YuanFen by hannarie_21

What we have is just now. As long as she loves me. As long as she wants to be with me. As long as there is 'we'. I love her! But the rainbow is not just a blend of vibrant and bright colors. It doesn't even stay for a long period of time-- just enough for us to see and in a fleet of time is gone, leaving us wondering if it's real. A rainbow doesn't have black and white. It wasn't just like that. Same as love. Same as us. There were times that i want to give her up. Not because my love did fade, rather, my love is too much. Too much that letting her go is the only option left for her to choose me without hesitation, without guilt, freed of lies. I want her to grow, to weigh things as it is. I want her to make me feel that being with me is her choice. I want her to realize that i am hers and that she have to surrender herself to me as well. I want her to love me because that is the way she feels and not because it was the safest way. Being with her is paradise. It was a mixture of colored pastel. It was too vibrant to explain. But at a sudden twist of downs and ups, we are shaking. Loving her has become my weakness. The weakening thought of losing her when I fuck up is too much to run me insane. I'm overreacting perhaps. But being with her, means walking in a narrow-road of heaven. There's no security, no assurance. One wrong move, and I'll be slipping away. Just in the never ending pain of darkness, of solitude, of self-struggle. Loving her has become my addiction. I couldn't get enough of it. But so they say, what's too much can cause harm. Maybe I'm loving her too much that she finds it hard to breathe when i'm around. But yes, it is just a wishful thinking; things that I'll surely not going to say to her because i will never ever earn the courage to say so. We are just nothing but a 'fateful coincidence.'

In my Wildest Dream by strawbellas

In a world that only dreaming was free, all you wanted to do is to lay down and start day dreaming about the very things you want. The very things you wanted to be. But what if all those dreams come true? and it turned out to be a nightmare? would you dare to dream again? Because in this world of reality, no one can escaped.. not even in Your Wildest Dream..

Halfway to Something by vellinova

They say love is a choice. But what if the choice you made had nothing to do with love? We didn't marry because we were in love. We married because we both needed something- And each other was just... convenient. He needed a wife. I needed the money. So we signed the papers, wore the masks, and promised we wouldn't fall. But nothing about him is simple. He was the boy I loathed the most when I was twelve. Five years older, always out of reach, always one step ahead. Now, we're under the same roof, bound by the same lie. And yet, he still feels miles away. He's cold. Detached. Always in control. And I hate how effortlessly he gets under my skin. Me? I keep my thoughts sharp and my walls higher. I never let anyone see me falter. And I'm always mindful of the image I project-especially when no one's watching. And now, I'm slowly forgetting the rules we set when we said, "I do." This wasn't supposed to mean anything. But now, we're halfway into something neither of us knows how to name. And the thing about secrets? They always ask for more.

HEART'S WILL by jude271998

I have been always prided myself in being no rush for love Simply maybe because I thought I was fully living happy and contented life just by being alone, not needing a man who will complete those some missing puzzles like how some girls put on. Pessimistic it may be, but I only saw a man in your life as a reason for the tears, heart broken and worst even distrust. And I believe I am better off of everything like that. I don't have the time to hide puffing eyes if ever. No time to mend heart being crushed to pieces. Simply no time for drama, nursing hang-over for being left at or as nasty as to think it is being cheated for. But I think I have another thing to think of, cause perhaps that's how I saw things before surely because I am not lucky enough to met earlier whoever can make myself believe otherwise for when my eyes laid on him everything I believe in being love and no rush for it all crumbled down to bits even though it's against my heart's will.

HER DYING LIST by WhenAckyWrites

DEATH! One word that will shatter our hearts. A word that everybody fears of. An occurrence that every person doesn't want to happen. But at the end of the day, we all fall to that. Are you ready when the death day comes? Are you ready to face it off and leave? If you're one of the luckiest people who will know when your death day is, are you going to plan for events just to make sure that before you'll leave, your memories will be valued and turn you to be the happiest? But what if... What if you'll meet an unexpected person at an unexpected time when you're ready to face your death? A person who will do everything just to make you stay. Will you go with your plans in accordance to what you have imagined or will you change as you meet the unexpected person? Are you going to alter it or will think that he's just a perfect stop-over to your destined day? In this playful world, can you picture out yourself creating memories with the unexpected person that you can bring in your next life or will it remain only as a memory to the world whom you'll leave? Ready yourself as you embrace a story that will change your perspective about DEATH. A story that will tell you "In this world full of sufferings and misery, LOVE IS THE ONLY ONE THAT REMAINS". Disclaimer: This Story was inspired by my Favorite Anime Movie - "IWTEYP". Credits to the rightful owner of the photo I used as a Book Cover and also to WESTLIFE BAND for their songs I used as background music for some events of the story.

Curse of Love The Series (คำสาปแห่งความรัก ซีรี่ย์) by ImYourDeceiver

I became a corpse for unknown reasons and I would like to know how I died. When I woke up, everything seemed to change when I woke up again. Because I am no longer the same as my previous skills or past life. It was as if destiny had changed my life from being poor now to being a towering star in the sky. Being poor and destitute in life, opportunity once again lifted my state in life. What does this mean with the sudden change of state in life, am I appointed to bring the curse of love. Or is it my duty to destroy their clean name. Or maybe they chose me to be the tool against the one who hurt it or maybe this is also their way of revenge. Why with so much that they can use why me I am just a humble ordinary simple woman who dreams of uplifting my family life. I have reached the desired comfort in life but in another person I have come. So my family and siblings how to know me if am as a different person. How else can I pretend to be such a person. I know it's not me and him? because they use my body to build up the destroyed personality in my replacement. They want to use me to pay for the one who killed him or they seek justice in his death. It is inconceivable that this opportunity is the thought of way to catch the real perpetrator. They are very thirsty for justice so they made sure I was chosen because my life is not well known being person. Their planned revenge so he swore that day he would come back again and claim the life they took. He knows that it is difficult to take the step or path to the justice he seeks. Can you try to use this personality in your own desire to love again. Is this also the key so that you don't experience how to fall in love in a natural way. How long will this madness end? What else do they want to achieve in life I want to be me. Is it bad for me to know that this face is dead, why would they want to revive it. Can you just shut him up? and just accept it. Let's find out how she can escape the assigned task or just accept it.

MY NIGHTMARE TO REMEMBER... by Mhar0se

Waking up without everything in a modern city feels like hell. Like an endless night where mourning takes place. A misery that I have to conquer with my iron will. And him, who drags me to an ill-fated fairytale. But, what if dreams and reality collide? What if we'll be given a chance to change someone's future? What are the risks we're willing to take?

Remember Me This Way ( way back ) by Cowzilpunk02

Trying to accept the fact but it hurts so much.. His attitude ? are not the same before but Im trying my self to be a good one.. I dont need an explanation . Only me can help my self .. Only me ! So at this point ., I want you to remember me any time wer' go .. Hope it will be , but it's impossible to try..

After I Fell (COMPLETE) by Jaayyyywp

When the only thing you wanted to hear, after all the pain suddenly becomes the reason to make you so damn depressed again making you remember something happened and you just can't let go of the pain all you want is to cry so damn hard and just share your every burden with the person from where it started. But then you stop and walk past him as if its alright because you know he won't understand. And that is the last thing on the earth to cry in front of him and he would never hold you back ,wipe your tears and tell you that its all gonna be alright which would never happen. So i wanna keep quite and go on as i have always done as if nothing happened. Damn! all i want is to get this freaking heart out of me and throw it away its all MY Fault .He do not need to feel guilty for that he do not need to say sorry for that after all I was the one who fall in and it will always be there...no matter how hard i try its just won't listen and it never had.

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Slide 1 of 9

In my Wildest Dream cover

Halfway to Something cover

HEART'S WILL cover

HER DYING LIST cover

Curse of Love The Series (คำสาปแห่งความรัก ซีรี่ย์) cover

MY NIGHTMARE TO REMEMBER... cover

Remember Me This Way ( way back ) cover

After I Fell (COMPLETE) cover

YuanFen

What we have is just now. As long as she loves me. As long as she wants to be with me. As long as there is 'we'. I love her! But the rainbow is not just a blend of vibrant and bright colors. It doesn't even stay for a long period of time-- just enough for us to see and in a fleet of time is gone, leaving us wondering if it's real. A rainbow doesn't have black and white. It wasn't just like that. Same as love. Same as us. There were times that i want to give her up. Not because my love did fade, rather, my love is too much. Too much that letting her go is the only option left for her to choose me without hesitation, without guilt, freed of lies. I want her to grow, to weigh things as it is. I want her to make me feel that being with me is her choice. I want her to realize that i am hers and that she have to surrender herself to me as well. I want her to love me because that is the way she feels and not because it was the safest way. Being with her is paradise. It was a mixture of colored pastel. It was too vibrant to explain. But at a sudden twist of downs and ups, we are shaking. Loving her has become my weakness. The weakening thought of losing her when I fuck up is too much to run me insane. I'm overreacting perhaps. But being with her, means walking in a narrow-road of heaven. There's no security, no assurance. One wrong move, and I'll be slipping away. Just in the never ending pain of darkness, of solitude, of self-struggle. Loving her has become my addiction. I couldn't get enough of it. But so they say, what's too much can cause harm. Maybe I'm loving her too much that she finds it hard to breathe when i'm around. But yes, it is just a wishful thinking; things that I'll surely not going to say to her because i will never ever earn the courage to say so. We are just nothing but a 'fateful coincidence.'