Dealing With My Self - shenkimt - Wattpad

Story cover for Dealing With My Self by shenkimt

Dealing With My Self

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Parts 18

Reads 3
Votes 0
Parts 18

despression freedom problem related self struggle suffering

i wished i'll go crazy, because i feel like being crazy will free my mind thinking all the problem in my life, will free me to think on my day to day life, will free me from thinking what will happened on the next day of my  life, will free me on what other people judgement, will free me to think on people expectation on me, will free me to get a job for my future, will free me to think what to eat everyday, will free me from all the suffering that is happening to me every single day. it so hard to live in this kind of world were everyone judge you for not being what they expect you to be. i really wished to stop this kind of feeling.All Rights Reserved

despression freedom problem related self struggle suffering

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18 parts

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YuanFen by hannarie_21

What we have is just now. As long as she loves me. As long as she wants to be with me. As long as there is 'we'. I love her! But the rainbow is not just a blend of vibrant and bright colors. It doesn't even stay for a long period of time-- just enough for us to see and in a fleet of time is gone, leaving us wondering if it's real. A rainbow doesn't have black and white. It wasn't just like that. Same as love. Same as us. There were times that i want to give her up. Not because my love did fade, rather, my love is too much. Too much that letting her go is the only option left for her to choose me without hesitation, without guilt, freed of lies. I want her to grow, to weigh things as it is. I want her to make me feel that being with me is her choice. I want her to realize that i am hers and that she have to surrender herself to me as well. I want her to love me because that is the way she feels and not because it was the safest way. Being with her is paradise. It was a mixture of colored pastel. It was too vibrant to explain. But at a sudden twist of downs and ups, we are shaking. Loving her has become my weakness. The weakening thought of losing her when I fuck up is too much to run me insane. I'm overreacting perhaps. But being with her, means walking in a narrow-road of heaven. There's no security, no assurance. One wrong move, and I'll be slipping away. Just in the never ending pain of darkness, of solitude, of self-struggle. Loving her has become my addiction. I couldn't get enough of it. But so they say, what's too much can cause harm. Maybe I'm loving her too much that she finds it hard to breathe when i'm around. But yes, it is just a wishful thinking; things that I'll surely not going to say to her because i will never ever earn the courage to say so. We are just nothing but a 'fateful coincidence.'

After I Fell (COMPLETE) by Jaayyyywp

When the only thing you wanted to hear, after all the pain suddenly becomes the reason to make you so damn depressed again making you remember something happened and you just can't let go of the pain all you want is to cry so damn hard and just share your every burden with the person from where it started. But then you stop and walk past him as if its alright because you know he won't understand. And that is the last thing on the earth to cry in front of him and he would never hold you back ,wipe your tears and tell you that its all gonna be alright which would never happen. So i wanna keep quite and go on as i have always done as if nothing happened. Damn! all i want is to get this freaking heart out of me and throw it away its all MY Fault .He do not need to feel guilty for that he do not need to say sorry for that after all I was the one who fall in and it will always be there...no matter how hard i try its just won't listen and it never had.

Break The Heart Of Heart Breaker (COMPLETE) by kathmaranan18

How can you handle a situation that you are the subject? How can you escape if you are the target How can you stop if your mind say go How can you fight if your enemy is your heart Love is such an traitor You can never say when will you fall in love It appears when you are not ready Do you believe in fairytales? Well me I don't It's a bullsh*t when you believe that their is a happily ever after In love it is happy at first but in the end you feel the pain and sorrow How can you hadle it if you are entering the game. The game that you will never win The game that you always loose The game that will break your heart But what if one day it will change ? What if the game was change ? Can you still fight when you know that you have a chance to win ? Or you are contented on that.... BREAK THE HEART OF A HEARTBREAKER

Remember Me This Way ( way back ) by Cowzilpunk02

Trying to accept the fact but it hurts so much.. His attitude ? are not the same before but Im trying my self to be a good one.. I dont need an explanation . Only me can help my self .. Only me ! So at this point ., I want you to remember me any time wer' go .. Hope it will be , but it's impossible to try..

Frost Academy:All Boys School(COMPLETED) by peculiarlullaby

Ace And Spade twins who suffered from an abusive childhood,those twins who carry a big scar deep in their hearts they were raised in a private and top secret organization.as years pass by, they became the top ranked best agents Slash Spies of that Non government organization who gives justice from Syndicates big syndicates and mafia organizations. Those twin brothers ordinary students at day,top ranked boy agents at night...but what if those twin brothers are actually twin SISTERS? "Sometimes I just want to be myself and be a woman living freely and carelessly" "Yeah live as womens...but unfortunately even we were born women we have to live as mens that's our destiny" ~~~ "A girl?Don't make me laugh!girls are weak!They were actually created to bring men plain pleasure at night they were just toys that if we mens don't want anymore it should be in waste so if I were you two, stay on what you are now and don't ever think being a weak creature!" Those words that marked in their minds those words they will never forget. But then a mission came...they have to guard two cold blooded unbelievably hot guys little they know those guys will change and ruin everything.... "I'm a man that's what I'm destined to be" "But is that what you want?Cause right now I'm seeing an amazingly beautiful woman" "Stop lying no one can see me as a woman" "But I just did..." Will those two be able to destroy the thick cold walls surrounding the twin's heart? In that school where it all started... "Underestimating those demons is like digging your own grave..." ***Frost Academy:All Boys School WARNING:NO TO PLAGIARISM!THIS CAME FROM MY MIND ORIGINALLY SO DONT COPY IT!

MY NIGHTMARE TO REMEMBER... by Mhar0se

Waking up without everything in a modern city feels like hell. Like an endless night where mourning takes place. A misery that I have to conquer with my iron will. And him, who drags me to an ill-fated fairytale. But, what if dreams and reality collide? What if we'll be given a chance to change someone's future? What are the risks we're willing to take?

In my Wildest Dream by strawbellas

In a world that only dreaming was free, all you wanted to do is to lay down and start day dreaming about the very things you want. The very things you wanted to be. But what if all those dreams come true? and it turned out to be a nightmare? would you dare to dream again? Because in this world of reality, no one can escaped.. not even in Your Wildest Dream..

Halfway to Something by vellinova

They say love is a choice. But what if the choice you made had nothing to do with love? We didn't marry because we were in love. We married because we both needed something- And each other was just... convenient. He needed a wife. I needed the money. So we signed the papers, wore the masks, and promised we wouldn't fall. But nothing about him is simple. He was the boy I loathed the most when I was twelve. Five years older, always out of reach, always one step ahead. Now, we're under the same roof, bound by the same lie. And yet, he still feels miles away. He's cold. Detached. Always in control. And I hate how effortlessly he gets under my skin. Me? I keep my thoughts sharp and my walls higher. I never let anyone see me falter. And I'm always mindful of the image I project-especially when no one's watching. And now, I'm slowly forgetting the rules we set when we said, "I do." This wasn't supposed to mean anything. But now, we're halfway into something neither of us knows how to name. And the thing about secrets? They always ask for more.

Class of Elites: Curse of the Past by demisegirl_red

LANGUAGES USED: Filipino and English ------ The faces in my childhood memories were fuzzy, in fact, I couldn't remember much of how everything went when I was younger. Except, how my mother looked at me with loathe and was constantly unloving. Growing up, I held onto my dad's words, 'you're special' or so I thought. Ever since I remembered, there have been people trying to kill me. Why? Not only was I hated, but others even want me dead! My life only changed when I met strange people coming from a world I only knew existed in my imagination. History was retold. Lies were unveiled. In the end, my blood was heavier than I expected.

I'm depressed by El-Roque14

I'm depressed I don't know why it just happen is it longing for love or i hated myself for being like this.

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Slide 1 of 10

After I Fell (COMPLETE) cover

Break The Heart Of Heart Breaker (COMPLETE) cover

Remember Me This Way ( way back ) cover

Frost Academy:All Boys School(COMPLETED) cover

MY NIGHTMARE TO REMEMBER... cover

In my Wildest Dream cover

Halfway to Something cover

Class of Elites: Curse of the Past cover

I'm depressed cover

YuanFen

What we have is just now. As long as she loves me. As long as she wants to be with me. As long as there is 'we'. I love her! But the rainbow is not just a blend of vibrant and bright colors. It doesn't even stay for a long period of time-- just enough for us to see and in a fleet of time is gone, leaving us wondering if it's real. A rainbow doesn't have black and white. It wasn't just like that. Same as love. Same as us. There were times that i want to give her up. Not because my love did fade, rather, my love is too much. Too much that letting her go is the only option left for her to choose me without hesitation, without guilt, freed of lies. I want her to grow, to weigh things as it is. I want her to make me feel that being with me is her choice. I want her to realize that i am hers and that she have to surrender herself to me as well. I want her to love me because that is the way she feels and not because it was the safest way. Being with her is paradise. It was a mixture of colored pastel. It was too vibrant to explain. But at a sudden twist of downs and ups, we are shaking. Loving her has become my weakness. The weakening thought of losing her when I fuck up is too much to run me insane. I'm overreacting perhaps. But being with her, means walking in a narrow-road of heaven. There's no security, no assurance. One wrong move, and I'll be slipping away. Just in the never ending pain of darkness, of solitude, of self-struggle. Loving her has become my addiction. I couldn't get enough of it. But so they say, what's too much can cause harm. Maybe I'm loving her too much that she finds it hard to breathe when i'm around. But yes, it is just a wishful thinking; things that I'll surely not going to say to her because i will never ever earn the courage to say so. We are just nothing but a 'fateful coincidence.'