Betray and Betray Again.

I don't really understand my emotions, or how i think. But all i do know, i do care. I care more than most people should, i care because i can't let go. I keep running back to the person i fell for in the first place because through this whole year, the only one i ever wanted to be with was him. I don't know what it was, i just i fell so hard that i never fully picked myself up, i always run back to the people who hurt me the most and i just wish i wouldn't. But i do. I've done bad things, i've said bad things, but a part of me knows that i try push everyone away, i try draw myself away but this one person, i find it so hard to walk away from and block him out of my life, i've tried blocking, replacing, putting him with someone else. I guess basically everything, but the real odds are ; everyone ruins it for us, every time we crash and burn, it hurts me.. Because his the one i want to be with, i want to see his smile, eyes, hear his voice, just being with him.