Doing good?

"Every time i see almost anything I think about how I could use it to hurt myself. Every time I see my razor I think of taking it apart and cutting myself, I think of the blood I make myself bleed and how addicting it is, I think about the pain and how much I want to stop the the urge for that pain makes it nothing. My own mind confuses me most of the time, I don't understand anything I think about. I hate when people don't talk to me, but I hate talking to people. I don't get what I do to myself and I think I can stop but I can't. All I can ever think about most of the time is how I've messed up. I don't understand what I can do to myself and that scares the hell out of me."