Montgomery de la Cruz - Save me from me

[Right now I'm updating phase 1 & 2 the story, mostly the grammar. So be forgiving]

What would you say if you were living in denial to yourself, and you knew that if you allowed yourself to be who you really were meant to be, would mean both shame, guilt, but also harm? What would you say if you one day couldn't resist your temptations anymore and followed your heart? You knew it could be devastating for you but what would be worse? Dying after you've lived a life you didn't want to live, or dying from trying to live the life you always dreamed of?

This fanfiction is about Monty from 13 reasons why and thru his point of view, mostly. But in my version the sexual assault he did to Tyler never happened, Bryce Walker never died and therefore Ani and Clay didn't investigate it. Instead, Monty "only" mocked and bullied others and end up in fights. He still threatened his fellow students to shut them down in court. Bryce did transfer to Hillcrest.
The fight at the homecoming game happened but Bryce didn't hurt Zach. He and Monty had a fight though, because Monty felt betrayed after Bryce lack of gratitude for what he had done for him and for Bryce ending their friendship. My story begins at the scene where Monty tried to threaten Bryce after the game, where he also met Winston.

A little warning - this fanfiction contains smut, violence and a bad language. :)
I hope you'll enjoy my story! Feel free to give me feedback and comments! :)

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This fanfiction is my first one, so I hope you can oversee my grammar (English isn't my first language) and newbie mistakes. Also I want to apologize for my lack of knowledge about American football, baseball and things related to American schools. :)

Thru the year I have improved my writing, so I will process the earlier chapters and probably fill them in more; make them deeper and less scattered and flat; though when the story is finished. I myself think my chapters get better with time. :)