Story cover for RECREATION  by floraltwink90s
RECREATION
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Laufend, Zuerst veröffentlicht Juli 05, 2020
Forget what u thought you knew, everything is different now. A new era has arisen, an era of fear and a cold reality. When you have no control of your clothes, daily activities, moods, bad habits etc, it can really put a downer on life. So what do u do when your down? Take some more downers ofcourse.

This is the story if why and how I ened up in the hole I'm in. Sleeping with everyone I know, eating nothing but pharmaceuticals, and eventually nearly dying.

All of which had caused so much trauma that I cant even think straight any more. I cant sleep without meds and I cant function like I used to.
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Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say, "I know you're not". I have felt like this many times in my life; as a kid, teenager and as an adult. I have seen many things in my life and felt even more things that has been horribly depressing... But I got up. I stood up to walk on for another day. I dealt with my emotional amnesia the only way I knew I could and that was by writing it out into poetry. I wanted to forget my pain and forget what I was going through. I needed that cut of the blade or a pill to drink to take everything away. My poetry became both my pill and my blade... Now I share the most intimate part of myself with the world. The part of me I kept hidden in the closet. The part I never thought I would ever present to the world. Now is the time I have to stop having amnesia about my emotions. It is time to learn, to better myself and to stand up and remember the things that I shut out like a voluntary amnesia all these years. Those who are offended after reading this - f**k you! If you are sad with me and willing to cut your wrist - I know how you feel! If you just enjoy the words - I love you! #679 in Poetry on 17/03/2018 #779 in Poetry on 18/03/2018 #807 in Poetry on 19/03/2018 #474 in Poetry on 22/03/2018