How to Survive to 18

Will I survive to my 18th birthday? Is a question I never imagined I'd have to ask, I think to myself as I look up at the ceiling, my eyes are beginning to heat up as the urge to cry finally fills me. I close my eyes, my lip trembles as I take a breath in, I look down at the cupcake, mesmerized by the flames. I bring it toward myself, and blow out the flame, as tears pour from my eyes, and I apologize for all the things I did to survive.