when will this shit end

Ok guys this is me writing what I feel in life and kind of where I am so if talk have any questions or anything to say please let me know. thanks :) hope y'all enjoy.

I'm scared that people won't accept me for being me. if feels like I'm stuck between hell and society.I fell like they don't understand and when I try to reach out for help it doesn't work. they just tell me to get over it. they don't know how broken I am. I could be so close to killing myself and they have no idea. I can look happy and fake a smile but underneath I'm in the dark crying and wanting it all to end. my past has messed me up so much. when I was born my mother didn't want me and she called me a mistake as I grew up it got worse she got married and I was happy but not for long. he stared beating her and they both did drugs some days she would forget about me. when she knew I was there she would beat me cuz it was fun for her. at age 7 my step dad raped me. my mom saw it happen I screamed" help me mommy it