butt jokes - dirkjohn - rocketman - Wattpad

butt jokes - dirkjohn

Reads 1,403
Votes 74
Parts 7
Time 53m

Reads 1,403
Votes 74
Parts 7
Time 53m

a young man by the name of john egbert stands alone in his bedroom, pissed as fuck because his roommate terezi and dirk strider are on his couch, watching fucking my little pony. we follow john's thoughts and feels as dirk just just keeps popping up more and more in his life.

ships appeared: dirkjohn, jadenep, vrisrezi, rosemary, davekat (i cant stand writing straight ships lol)

terezi and nepeta are nonbinary and are written with they/them pronouns. multiple characters are lgbt, but their not all labeled or have all of their pronouns written out.

my writing is all in lowercase, but it is grammatically correct and coherent. chats written like they're on pesterchum are written like the respective characters.
formatting for pesterchats change to adapt for the fact theres no text colors on here.

cover credit: senyaluz on tumblr (no relation to the story, just one of my favorite artists)

bonus creds:
my lovely bf for writing pesterchats with me, being my john, and helping with planning and ideas. 
also creds to my bestfriend for being resident rose! im happy to have kinnies on board to help with proper characterization. 

note: NONE OF THESE CHARACTERS ARE MINE (obviously). their hussies and i simply improved them.All Rights Reserved

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Straight-Up Not Having A Good Time At Night Raven College: Prologue by MahouSenshiLucky

PROLOGUE: Thanks, I Hate Being Welcomed To The Villain's World. (COMPLETED) ______________________________________ The misadventures of Prefect Kat, the 19-year-old ace lesbian isekai'd into a school full of problematic pretty-boys, armed with only her lack of f*cks and knowledge from years of mental health treatment. Will she survive? Will she ever get home? Will this damn cat ever stop causing problems? How long will it be until she even SEES another woman? Please, she is so gay and so, so lonely. ______________________________________ Writing the events of Twisted Wonderland as if I (or at least a version of myself that would actually progress the story) were the main character. CW: Swears (I swear like a sailor), descriptions of violence (describing in-game events; my style gets pretty prosey.) A lot of artistic license/minor worldbuilding/details/etc. Probably no ships; definitely no selfships or MC/OC+Canon ships or whatever you wanna call it. If there are ships, they're gonna be more subtext than anything else. If I go too OOC with ur faves I'm sorry, I'm doing my best but I'm dumb and mostly just try to get the 'vibes' right for each character; also might comedically exaggerate some traits for Shenanigans purposes sometimes. I own nothing besides myself; all characters/settings belong to Disney and Yana Toboso, etc., etc., pls no class-action lawsuit I have no money

Into Wonderland by opossumollie

Mc is a human and goes by they/them and I tried to keep descriptions as vague as possible for people to insert themselves or an Oc into it! If I do miss anything (Accidentally mention gender, sexual orientation, hair color, skin color, hair mention at all) please comment so I can fix it immediately! My goal is to be able to have anyone be able to insert themselves in the story. This started off as a self insert so I might slip up and mention my own descriptors on accident and I would like to try to avoid that as much as possible! Essentially where Mc hops through each Twst story- some plot lines are followed completely,some are altered to fit my story (lets be honest here- only Heartslabyuls chapter is accurate to the story. The rest I twisted to make the villains the good guys which, I guess, is the exact plot of Twisted Wonderland.) Can be read separately but there are mentions of the previous stories. Cover art is by me (courtesy of absolute boredom in online school)

Scholar by WinterFantasies

[COMPLETED] [Warning: Strong language used throughout the book.] He put his hand over my notebook and the other over mine. I glared up at him, his golden brown eyes catching my attention. "I can't write like this," I pointed out. "Is this all you care about?" Ryan asked. I shrugged. "Not this specifically, but yeah, I care about my grades." Ryan smirked. I swallowed nervously but refused to break my stoic expression. He leaned closer to me, my heart pounding so hard against my chest it felt like it might break out and fall on the table between us. His mouth was right by my ear, and I could feel his warm breath when he spoke which sent shivers down my spine. "Well, aren't you a little a scholar?" *** The only things Alex Moris ever cared about were his grades and his sister. However, when the boy his sister likes, Ryan Smithe, makes things complicated and causes him to feel things he's never felt before, Alex realizes that, maybe, there's more important things in life than grades and scholarships. [Word Count: 40,216] [BoyxBoy] ~#14 in the "BoyxBoy" tag on 3/5/2019~ ~#14 in the "love" tag on 12/28/2018~ ~#8 in the "lgbt" and "lgbtq" tags on 1/4/2019~ ~#1 in the "loveislove" tag on 1/12/2019~ ~#31 in the "romance" tag on 2/10/2019~ ~#2 in the "BxB" tag on 3/9/2019~

My Next Life As A Villainess: All Routes Lead To Doom (40 One shots) by CHILLs_Studio33015

•A series of randomized one shots, written by our Leader to look over now that she finally has connection to the outside world on her phone again. We usually don't work when she's not around to tell us to do this and that, we get too busy writing other stories of other fandoms for her to check if it's good to post here sometimes. She declines a lot of ideas sometimes, and we decline a lot of work sometimes. We don't complain and she doesn't complain so it's a win on both sides, friendship in making someone hardly working. •Out of Character Katarina is so damn fun to use. •A few 18+ fanfics so heed a warning to it if you're mindset is still below that age. •Sometimes more on Maria X Katarina and Yuri, though there can be Yaoi and straight ships if you want, but the moment this first one shots are out, you're allowed to give suggestions of what you want to see written here, she'll probably take one of any suggestions if she takes interest or you get her to notice, she'll never take Keith x Katarina though. •There's your/name readers oneshots too of course. created by: Leader, G, D, H, L

30 Day OTP Challenge [AmeriPan] by Jocy-Chick

**DISCLAIMER** The image used for this cover doesn't belong to me. This wonderful piece of art was drawn by the awesome Pugishka. (Thanks again for the lovely drawings~! ^^) The cool images used in the stories were also created by her, just in a different style than the one you see in the cover. You can check out more of her amazing artwork on her Tumblr page right here: https://pugishka.tumblr.com/ +~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+ All the following short stories are based off the "30 Day OTP Challenge" that I found on DeviantArt. The link to the list will be located down bellow. I had a blast writing every single one of these parts! owo I'm just sad it went by so fast... ;w; Anyway, I really hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them~! ^^ Day Started: January 31, 2018 Day Finished: March 1, 2018 +~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+ Slight hint of the following ships: - PruHun (Day 9 and 20) - FrUK (Day 12, 14, and 26) - RoChu (Day 26 and 28) SongFic: Day 22 ((WARNING: The SongFic has some angst. Read with caution.)) +~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+ Link to the 30 Day OTP Challenge: https://www.deviantart.com/journal/30-Day-OTP-Challenge-LIST-325248585

"Hi there."/(Modern HTTYD au. Heatherxfemoc)|(Complete) by ILikeWerewolfBooks

(Complete) "Hi, there." "You say that all the time." "Are you annoyed by it?" "Not at all." A modern Httyd Au, in which the gang go to university, party on the weekends, are concerned for their grades and all that comes with being an adult. But what happens when a girl from another country begins at their school? How will Heather deal with her lesbian panic every time she is around? Is this girl even a good person? And who is her father, and what does he do? Inspired by my Heatherxfemoc, 'the lost riders'. Modern au as I stated before, and both my girls are still madly in love, they just don't know it yet. *None of these characters are mine exept my oc and a few others, the rest belong to DreamWorks. The art (for the cover) I found on tumbler: pavlek 4000. Amazing art, check them out.*

CHANGES IN MY LIFE [BibleBuild] ManxMan by BiBu013

Another BIBLEBUILD FANFICTION Manxman/ BoyxBoy Thank you for coming into my life and changing it for the better. . ---------------⬇️sneak peek⬇️----------------- He lean his back on his chair, and bring my hand again, and clasped them together. "You know, I've got so many relationships in the past but none of them, I asked myself to be their boyfriend. They are the ones who are always asking me to be their boyfriend," he confessed I want to tease him for being full of himself, but he beat me to it. "You're thinking that I'm being full of myself again right?" then he looks at me sulking I just give him a cheeky smile. "But it's true, I never asked anyone, now it's up to you to believe it or not," he murmured while shrugging "Okay fine, I will believe you now," I told him because I saw him pouting now. "Thanks, love," then he gave me an air kiss. We stayed silent for a couple of minutes, the only thing you can here was the sound of the sea and some insects that are buzzing around. "You know why I took you here?" he started talking again. "Continue," "Because I want you to remember us, me, every time you remember this place, or even go here. I'm not saying that you forgot about your past, but I want you to remember me too when you come here," he's back in his serious/emotional mode again. Started: October 18, 2022 Ended: December 6, 2022

Omega and the beast by AmenRocks1

You know when people say how it's like love at first sight when seeing their love for the first time? You look him in the eyes and know he's the man of your dreams. Bullshit! There's nothing that would ever change my mind about the so-called love of my life! Sure, the first time I saw him he was annoyingly handsome with his proud demeanour & defined cheekbones. That penetrating look of his made my knees weak. With shiny black shoes and a Dracula coat with a hairstyle as shiny as his Santorini black jaguar. But the first thing I thought when I saw Reed Ramon Hook the third was, what a twat! A proud rich dipshit who thinks he can own everything. No one could ever say no to this noble twat! You may wonder why I roast the love of my life. But is there anyone who has the permission to do so it must be his own omega, right? Yes, I forgot to mention how this perfect dipshit to a hunkalicious twat is the alpha of the Hookhill pack. To be honest, I had no idea what that meant. Nor did I know how a man can bend down and suddenly stand on four paws, growing a tail! It came as news to me! But the biggest shock was how it turned out that I also can warp into a beast with a furry tail above my ass! From being an unsuccessful yet optimistic guy without an income but with a sense of sarcasm, to then kind of belong to town's richest man, becoming the subject of an Alpha battle. I understand if you're confused. So was I! But let me rewind the tape and take everything from the beginning. Lean back and embrace your sassiness! Because sassiness rules and is needed when dealing with a twat! Heads up! This book contains mature themes like smut, mpreg, violence & bad language. It addresses important topics like rights & gender. I want to highlight these themes but don't intend to devalue anyone stereotypically. It's a fictional story intended to entertain but with important topics. Trigger warning for abusive-like violence and oppression, mainly towards the end.

A Fate of Fear | DreamNotFound by icey_stars

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Confused [Ereri](COMPLETED) by NeYa-Kun

"I don't know what I feel about you anymore, Armin..." "What do you mean, Eren?" "He loves me, Armin." "No, Jean. No, Armin. He loves me." Read to find out more. (~-3-)~ (this story ain't that great, trust me..) ------------ THIS STORY IS A FANFICTION OF ATTACK ON TITAN (SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN) I DO NOT OWN IT'S CHARACTERS, I ONLY OWN THE PLOT. THIS STORY IS ABOUT ERENXLEVI!! THERE WILL ALSO BE SOME ERENXARMIN AND JEANXEREN, SO IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THIS/SHIP IT ANY OF THIS THREE, DO NOT READ IT. THIS STORY WILL, (MIGHT) CONTAIN: - BoyxBoy (Yaoi) - Violence - Stronge language - Gore - Rape - Suicidal thoughts - Self harm - Bad spelling - etc. Thank you.

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Slide 1 of 10

Straight-Up Not Having A Good Time At Night Raven College: Prologue cover

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My Next Life As A Villainess: All Routes Lead To Doom (40 One shots) cover

30 Day OTP Challenge [AmeriPan] cover

"Hi there."/(Modern HTTYD au. Heatherxfemoc)|(Complete) cover

CHANGES IN MY LIFE [BibleBuild] ManxMan cover

Omega and the beast cover

A Fate of Fear | DreamNotFound cover

Confused [Ereri](COMPLETED) cover

Straight-Up Not Having A Good Time At Night Raven College: Prologue

PROLOGUE: Thanks, I Hate Being Welcomed To The Villain's World. (COMPLETED) The misadventures of Prefect Kat, the 19-year-old ace lesbian isekai'd into a school full of problematic pretty-boys, armed with only her lack of f*cks and knowledge from years of mental health treatment. Will she survive? Will she ever get home? Will this damn cat ever stop causing problems? How long will it be until she even SEES another woman? Please, she is so gay and so, so lonely. Writing the events of Twisted Wonderland as if I (or at least a version of myself that would actually progress the story) were the main character. CW: Swears (I swear like a sailor), descriptions of violence (describing in-game events; my style gets pretty prosey.) A lot of artistic license/minor worldbuilding/details/etc. Probably no ships; definitely no selfships or MC/OC+Canon ships or whatever you wanna call it. If there are ships, they're gonna be more subtext than anything else. If I go too OOC with ur faves I'm sorry, I'm doing my best but I'm dumb and mostly just try to get the 'vibes' right for each character; also might comedically exaggerate some traits for Shenanigans purposes sometimes. I own nothing besides myself; all characters/settings belong to Disney and Yana Toboso, etc., etc., pls no class-action lawsuit I have no money