butt jokes - dirkjohn - rocketman - Wattpad

Story cover for butt jokes - dirkjohn by wormsboy

butt jokes - dirkjohn

Reads 1,454
Votes 74
Parts 7
Time 53m

Reads 1,454
Votes 74
Parts 7
Time 53m

a young man by the name of john egbert stands alone in his bedroom, pissed as fuck because his roommate terezi and dirk strider are on his couch, watching fucking my little pony. we follow john's thoughts and feels as dirk just just keeps popping up more and more in his life.

ships appeared: dirkjohn, jadenep, vrisrezi, rosemary, davekat (i cant stand writing straight ships lol)

terezi and nepeta are nonbinary and are written with they/them pronouns. multiple characters are lgbt, but their not all labeled or have all of their pronouns written out.

my writing is all in lowercase, but it is grammatically correct and coherent. chats written like they're on pesterchum are written like the respective characters.
formatting for pesterchats change to adapt for the fact theres no text colors on here.

cover credit: senyaluz on tumblr (no relation to the story, just one of my favorite artists)

bonus creds:
my lovely bf for writing pesterchats with me, being my john, and helping with planning and ideas. 
also creds to my bestfriend for being resident rose! im happy to have kinnies on board to help with proper characterization. 

note: NONE OF THESE CHARACTERS ARE MINE (obviously). their hussies and i simply improved them.All Rights Reserved

Table of contents

7 parts

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Scholar by WinterFantasies

[COMPLETED] [Warning: Strong language used throughout the book.] He put his hand over my notebook and the other over mine. I glared up at him, his golden brown eyes catching my attention. "I can't write like this," I pointed out. "Is this all you care about?" Ryan asked. I shrugged. "Not this specifically, but yeah, I care about my grades." Ryan smirked. I swallowed nervously but refused to break my stoic expression. He leaned closer to me, my heart pounding so hard against my chest it felt like it might break out and fall on the table between us. His mouth was right by my ear, and I could feel his warm breath when he spoke which sent shivers down my spine. "Well, aren't you a little a scholar?" *** The only things Alex Moris ever cared about were his grades and his sister. However, when the boy his sister likes, Ryan Smithe, makes things complicated and causes him to feel things he's never felt before, Alex realizes that, maybe, there's more important things in life than grades and scholarships. [Word Count: 40,216] [BoyxBoy] ~#14 in the "BoyxBoy" tag on 3/5/2019~ ~#14 in the "love" tag on 12/28/2018~ ~#8 in the "lgbt" and "lgbtq" tags on 1/4/2019~ ~#1 in the "loveislove" tag on 1/12/2019~ ~#31 in the "romance" tag on 2/10/2019~ ~#2 in the "BxB" tag on 3/9/2019~

The lines of fate by YellowWitchcraft

This is a kiribaku story so if you don't like the ship don't read this story. There's gonna be fluff and angst.They have quirks, and almost everyone has a soulmate. You have a thick line on your wrist that represents your soulmates hair and a thin line underneath that represents your hair. If you or your soulmate colour their hair the line is going to change colour on both of your wrists. When you kiss you will feel a jolt kinda and the line will disappear if you truly love them and all that, If you confront them and you don't love them romantically and they feel the same it will also disappear though it won't happen overnight it will take a little longer. This is my first story so I don't fucking know what I'm doing. Btw, there's probably gonna be a lot of cursing in this story, 'cause of Bakugou and meeeeeeee. Bye! Btw, my friends have me on here so even if you request smut I will refuse. It also just makes me awkward and we don't want that, now do we? Comments and constructive criticism are welcome! If you want to write hate go ahead, I don't care. doesn't include pictures. I made the cover with a little help from my friend. //Author Warnings: Angst, self harm, cutting, suicide, suicidal thoughts cursing not my characters fluff (no smut) Kiribaku Gay Sides ships inclued: Yaoyorozu x Todoroki Jirou x Kaminari Iida x Uraraka Midoriya x Uraraka Ojirou x Hagakure Tsuyu x Iida Some are soulmates but decide to stay as friends since they don't have romantic feelings for each other. Iida and Tsuyu are soulmates but decides to stay friends. I'm not gonna spoil anything so read the story to find out more.

A Different Kind Of Love Triangle by Jazzy_Joy

[A BoyxBoyxBoy Love Story] "If only I could kiss him and tell him I'm there.. I'm here.." "There's this border that you are so scared of crossing" "No... not like love love.. Like LOVE love.." "I didn't want to fall in love with you.. But here I am." ~~~~~~~ Nathan, A 20 year old sexually confused college student finds himself in a debacle when he gets in a love triangle with his dormmates.. Well.. It's a different kind of Love Triangle. Nathan Walker has been living with his roommates for two years now.. But this last year brings a whirlwind. You see.. He has developed feelings for both of his roommates. Kinoshita Sora also known as Aiden, A 21 year old football player with the body of a Greek god and the demeanor of a puppy. And Endrik Rebane who goes by the name of "N", A cute redhead with dripping sarcasm and delicious cooking skills. With these feelings comes a lot of hardships as the three roommates figure out how to deal with their feelings, each of them with their own demons. And soon everything changes when Nathan finds himself in a love triangle... But as you've heard, This is a.. A different kind of Love Triangle. ----- Thanks to @chatnoir--yato for double checking for typos and mistakes. She's my editor in chief 😌

A Life Made In A Movie. A Very Bad Movie [DAVEKAT] by iicantword2

Karkat Vantas. A very unpopular, short, and short-tempered troll. He tries desperately to make it through his first year in a human school, but with everyone still not fully accepting trolls added on with his so-called 'stupid' blood color, he can't find a single person who understands him, yet. Dave Strider. Maybe one of the most popular guys in the school. Nobody knows why he's always wearing those cool ironic shades of his, and most people want to find out. But Dave himself wants his eyes to stay hidden, and nobody else has ever seen them. He thinks that if anyone did, they would make fun of him and his good reputation would immediately disappear. The two, basically opposites, find that they actually might get along and relate to each other. But who knows what a simple sentence could do? (this is my second fanfic and the first homestuck one i've ever written so if the writing sucks don't judge! also none of the art is mine. ships included will most likely be johndave at the beginning, and throughout the fic theres gonna be erisol, rosemary, some jadenep, johndirk, and vrisrezi! if you don't like one or more of these ships deal with it.) (also both of the main sillies are trans if that changes anything. enjoy the fic!!!) (cover art by tgcg on tumblr)

It Was Just For Fun (BoyXBoy) by CoryPines

Jayden was never meant to be a prince, but when he gets adopted by the king and queen, he has to prepare himself for the challenges ahead. Luckily, his personal knight, Kam, is there to help him out. Together, they will have to deal with mages, fight dragons, and face windigos. Follow them as they learn more about each other, and learn to look past their deferences to accomplish their goals and save the kingdom. Firstly, a huge thanks to my friend Sophia (@sopheyyis or @B1ashe) for drawing the cover. She is an amazing artist, go follow her on instagram and tik toc because she is the best. Warning: this is not for kids or people sensitive to triggers. I tend to write on the dark side, just so you know. There will be no smut, but there will be mentions of sex, abuse, abandonment, a little bit of swearing and this list could be updated as the story goes on. I usually don't write romance, but I want to get better at it, so here we go... About updates, I wish I could say I will be posting at least once a day but I know that won't be true because I'm currently editing my book that I am publishing this summer (2020) and this story is more of just a de-stressor (is that a word) so the grammar and writing, especially the tense (it will most likely flip between present and past tense, just pretend it is all the same) might not be perfect, but I just felt like writing it. I will publish at least once a week Now with that out of the way, I just wanna say, hope ya enjoy the story. Have a great day and keep being your amazing you!

An Everlasting Problem (Phun And Noh AU Fan Fiction) by LittleKittyWasabi

This is a boy x boy fan fiction. Don't like gay love then move on. This isn't the story for you. There will be cursing in this story. If you don't like profanity please move on. Thank you. ============================ Cover by: JaeMi1 ============================ Have you ever met a vampire? No? Ah, lucky you. Vampires are a pain in the ass. Trust me I've met a couple. Thanks to that stupid ass Ohm I was stalked, forced to co-habitat, and pushed into some weird confusing battle going on for a stupid title. Pain in the asses! The biggest issue was the feelings stirring inside me. They're weird and icky. No matter what I do I can't stop them. And they get worse whenever that jerk, Phun, is near me. My heart constricts and my brain gets weird. Can't I just go back to my peaceful life, please? Excerpt: I shuffled my feet, staring down at them, growing far more uncomfortable than I ever wanted to be. I heard a deep chuckle roll from him. My eyes shot up to meet his. I had to swallow down my agitation as his eyes twinkled with amusement. Can you believe it? The bastard found my reactions funny! My face crumbled into a sneer. I slammed my hands on the arms of my chair and pushed myself up. I glared at the bastard, trying my best to make my face as ruthless as I could. The infuriating man chuckled again, his smirk blooming into a full smile. I had to force down whatever feelings was bubbling up. He had an amazing smile. Heart racing and knee melting type of amazing. =============================== This is an AU fan fiction. I do not own the characters portrayed in this story, I merely asked them to dance to a different beat. The characters are created and owned by INDRYTIMES ( twitter: @hedshew) Show her love for these wonderful characters and her amazing story. ===============================

Straight-Up Not Having A Good Time At Night Raven College: Prologue by MahouSenshiLucky

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30 Day OTP Challenge [AmeriPan] by Jocy-Chick

**DISCLAIMER** The image used for this cover doesn't belong to me. This wonderful piece of art was drawn by the awesome Pugishka. (Thanks again for the lovely drawings~! ^^) The cool images used in the stories were also created by her, just in a different style than the one you see in the cover. You can check out more of her amazing artwork on her Tumblr page right here: https://pugishka.tumblr.com/ +~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+ All the following short stories are based off the "30 Day OTP Challenge" that I found on DeviantArt. The link to the list will be located down bellow. I had a blast writing every single one of these parts! owo I'm just sad it went by so fast... ;w; Anyway, I really hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them~! ^^ Day Started: January 31, 2018 Day Finished: March 1, 2018 +~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+ Slight hint of the following ships: - PruHun (Day 9 and 20) - FrUK (Day 12, 14, and 26) - RoChu (Day 26 and 28) SongFic: Day 22 ((WARNING: The SongFic has some angst. Read with caution.)) +~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+ Link to the 30 Day OTP Challenge: https://www.deviantart.com/journal/30-Day-OTP-Challenge-LIST-325248585

Gratsu Oneshots by allure-

I wrote this so long ago, the writing is absolutely atrocious. Don't worry, I cringed enough for the both of us after reading these. I don't write male ships anymore. CURRENTLY BEING HEAVILY EDITING Started May 24th, 2019 Completed March 9th, 2020

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Slide 1 of 9

The lines of fate cover

A Different Kind Of Love Triangle cover

A Life Made In A Movie. A Very Bad Movie [DAVEKAT] cover

It Was Just For Fun (BoyXBoy) cover

An Everlasting Problem (Phun And Noh AU Fan Fiction) cover

Straight-Up Not Having A Good Time At Night Raven College: Prologue cover

30 Day OTP Challenge [AmeriPan] cover

Gratsu Oneshots cover

Scholar

[COMPLETED] [Warning: Strong language used throughout the book.] He put his hand over my notebook and the other over mine. I glared up at him, his golden brown eyes catching my attention. "I can't write like this," I pointed out. "Is this all you care about?" Ryan asked. I shrugged. "Not this specifically, but yeah, I care about my grades." Ryan smirked. I swallowed nervously but refused to break my stoic expression. He leaned closer to me, my heart pounding so hard against my chest it felt like it might break out and fall on the table between us. His mouth was right by my ear, and I could feel his warm breath when he spoke which sent shivers down my spine. "Well, aren't you a little a scholar?" *** The only things Alex Moris ever cared about were his grades and his sister. However, when the boy his sister likes, Ryan Smithe, makes things complicated and causes him to feel things he's never felt before, Alex realizes that, maybe, there's more important things in life than grades and scholarships. [Word Count: 40,216] [BoyxBoy] ~#14 in the "BoyxBoy" tag on 3/5/2019~ ~#14 in the "love" tag on 12/28/2018~ ~#8 in the "lgbt" and "lgbtq" tags on 1/4/2019~ ~#1 in the "loveislove" tag on 1/12/2019~ ~#31 in the "romance" tag on 2/10/2019~ ~#2 in the "BxB" tag on 3/9/2019~