butt jokes - dirkjohn - rocketman - Wattpad

butt jokes - dirkjohn

Reads 1,405
Votes 74
Parts 7
Time 53m

Reads 1,405
Votes 74
Parts 7
Time 53m

a young man by the name of john egbert stands alone in his bedroom, pissed as fuck because his roommate terezi and dirk strider are on his couch, watching fucking my little pony. we follow john's thoughts and feels as dirk just just keeps popping up more and more in his life.

ships appeared: dirkjohn, jadenep, vrisrezi, rosemary, davekat (i cant stand writing straight ships lol)

terezi and nepeta are nonbinary and are written with they/them pronouns. multiple characters are lgbt, but their not all labeled or have all of their pronouns written out.

my writing is all in lowercase, but it is grammatically correct and coherent. chats written like they're on pesterchum are written like the respective characters.
formatting for pesterchats change to adapt for the fact theres no text colors on here.

cover credit: senyaluz on tumblr (no relation to the story, just one of my favorite artists)

bonus creds:
my lovely bf for writing pesterchats with me, being my john, and helping with planning and ideas. 
also creds to my bestfriend for being resident rose! im happy to have kinnies on board to help with proper characterization. 

note: NONE OF THESE CHARACTERS ARE MINE (obviously). their hussies and i simply improved them.All Rights Reserved

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Straight-Up Not Having A Good Time At Night Raven College: Prologue by MahouSenshiLucky

PROLOGUE: Thanks, I Hate Being Welcomed To The Villain's World. (COMPLETED) ______________________________________ The misadventures of Prefect Kat, the 19-year-old ace lesbian isekai'd into a school full of problematic pretty-boys, armed with only her lack of f*cks and knowledge from years of mental health treatment. Will she survive? Will she ever get home? Will this damn cat ever stop causing problems? How long will it be until she even SEES another woman? Please, she is so gay and so, so lonely. ______________________________________ Writing the events of Twisted Wonderland as if I (or at least a version of myself that would actually progress the story) were the main character. CW: Swears (I swear like a sailor), descriptions of violence (describing in-game events; my style gets pretty prosey.) A lot of artistic license/minor worldbuilding/details/etc. Probably no ships; definitely no selfships or MC/OC+Canon ships or whatever you wanna call it. If there are ships, they're gonna be more subtext than anything else. If I go too OOC with ur faves I'm sorry, I'm doing my best but I'm dumb and mostly just try to get the 'vibes' right for each character; also might comedically exaggerate some traits for Shenanigans purposes sometimes. I own nothing besides myself; all characters/settings belong to Disney and Yana Toboso, etc., etc., pls no class-action lawsuit I have no money

30 Day OTP Challenge [AmeriPan] by Jocy-Chick

**DISCLAIMER** The image used for this cover doesn't belong to me. This wonderful piece of art was drawn by the awesome Pugishka. (Thanks again for the lovely drawings~! ^^) The cool images used in the stories were also created by her, just in a different style than the one you see in the cover. You can check out more of her amazing artwork on her Tumblr page right here: https://pugishka.tumblr.com/ +~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+ All the following short stories are based off the "30 Day OTP Challenge" that I found on DeviantArt. The link to the list will be located down bellow. I had a blast writing every single one of these parts! owo I'm just sad it went by so fast... ;w; Anyway, I really hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them~! ^^ Day Started: January 31, 2018 Day Finished: March 1, 2018 +~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+ Slight hint of the following ships: - PruHun (Day 9 and 20) - FrUK (Day 12, 14, and 26) - RoChu (Day 26 and 28) SongFic: Day 22 ((WARNING: The SongFic has some angst. Read with caution.)) +~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+~-+ Link to the 30 Day OTP Challenge: https://www.deviantart.com/journal/30-Day-OTP-Challenge-LIST-325248585

Scholar by WinterFantasies

[COMPLETED] [Warning: Strong language used throughout the book.] He put his hand over my notebook and the other over mine. I glared up at him, his golden brown eyes catching my attention. "I can't write like this," I pointed out. "Is this all you care about?" Ryan asked. I shrugged. "Not this specifically, but yeah, I care about my grades." Ryan smirked. I swallowed nervously but refused to break my stoic expression. He leaned closer to me, my heart pounding so hard against my chest it felt like it might break out and fall on the table between us. His mouth was right by my ear, and I could feel his warm breath when he spoke which sent shivers down my spine. "Well, aren't you a little a scholar?" *** The only things Alex Moris ever cared about were his grades and his sister. However, when the boy his sister likes, Ryan Smithe, makes things complicated and causes him to feel things he's never felt before, Alex realizes that, maybe, there's more important things in life than grades and scholarships. [Word Count: 40,216] [BoyxBoy] ~#14 in the "BoyxBoy" tag on 3/5/2019~ ~#14 in the "love" tag on 12/28/2018~ ~#8 in the "lgbt" and "lgbtq" tags on 1/4/2019~ ~#1 in the "loveislove" tag on 1/12/2019~ ~#31 in the "romance" tag on 2/10/2019~ ~#2 in the "BxB" tag on 3/9/2019~

Desire by Blood | Desire Series ~ 1 by KaedeT

One night, a young man wakes up in an empty room. He looks around, but he doesn't recognize his surroundings. Where is he? Why is he here? Who is he? Why couldn't he remember anything? Then he hears the squeaking sound of an old wooden door. He sees a figure. It is a beautiful young woman. She smiles, "You're finally awake. Do you remember anything?" The young man shook his head, but the questions have been burning on his tongue. He couldn't resist it, so he asks, "Who am I?" She gracefully and silently walks toward him, "You're Micah, my child." Since that day, Micah slowly learned how to live in the darkness with his "siblings" and his "mother". They couldn't go outside and she provided everything they needed. But one day, she disappeared, leaving them all alone. Starved and afraid, they broke the rules and went outside. It is the same day that they learned what they really are. They call them Vampires. Decades later, Micah is always on the road looking for new preys. He never shows any interest in men until he gets an offer he cannot refuse. This is how he meets the man that will change his life. Nikolas wants one thing and it is Micah. This beautiful cover is made by Bloodcoveredlove ! Update : Tuesday

A Fate of Fear | DreamNotFound by icey_stars

STORY: Schlatt has taken over the world with his powers, Elemental Control, the strongest powers of all, but Dream also has this power and more. He is the first man to be born and gifted multiple powers. He has a fate to save the world from Schlatt, but he is weak from fear. He must learn with help from many of his friends to let go of the fear. Dream has already managed to amass a small rebellion, but unless Dream can control himself, they cannot do anything. George is also a member of this rebellion with a power of his own. (Refer to my story notes to find out) Will they be able to save the world from Schlatt and whoever he commands with fear? Or will they fail? So.. this is another one of those DreamNotFound stories, if anyone is uncomfortable with being in this, just contact me, I'll delete it ASAP. I mean it. I completely respect all sexualities and genders. ALL. So if Dream says no more fanfictions or ships, bye bye love story and here comes major adventure. Again, I write for my enjoyment, so excuse me if I lollygag on one specific part. *this is really crappy writing compared to what I do now. I have no plans to rewrite either.

CHANGES IN MY LIFE [BibleBuild] ManxMan by BiBu013

Another BIBLEBUILD FANFICTION Manxman/ BoyxBoy Thank you for coming into my life and changing it for the better. . ---------------⬇️sneak peek⬇️----------------- He lean his back on his chair, and bring my hand again, and clasped them together. "You know, I've got so many relationships in the past but none of them, I asked myself to be their boyfriend. They are the ones who are always asking me to be their boyfriend," he confessed I want to tease him for being full of himself, but he beat me to it. "You're thinking that I'm being full of myself again right?" then he looks at me sulking I just give him a cheeky smile. "But it's true, I never asked anyone, now it's up to you to believe it or not," he murmured while shrugging "Okay fine, I will believe you now," I told him because I saw him pouting now. "Thanks, love," then he gave me an air kiss. We stayed silent for a couple of minutes, the only thing you can here was the sound of the sea and some insects that are buzzing around. "You know why I took you here?" he started talking again. "Continue," "Because I want you to remember us, me, every time you remember this place, or even go here. I'm not saying that you forgot about your past, but I want you to remember me too when you come here," he's back in his serious/emotional mode again. Started: October 18, 2022 Ended: December 6, 2022

Omega and the beast by AmenRocks1

You know when people say how it's like love at first sight when seeing their love for the first time? You look him in the eyes and know he's the man of your dreams. Bullshit! There's nothing that would ever change my mind about the so-called love of my life! Sure, the first time I saw him he was annoyingly handsome with his proud demeanour & defined cheekbones. That penetrating look of his made my knees weak. With shiny black shoes and a Dracula coat with a hairstyle as shiny as his Santorini black jaguar. But the first thing I thought when I saw Reed Ramon Hook the third was, what a twat! A proud rich dipshit who thinks he can own everything. No one could ever say no to this noble twat! You may wonder why I roast the love of my life. But is there anyone who has the permission to do so it must be his own omega, right? Yes, I forgot to mention how this perfect dipshit to a hunkalicious twat is the alpha of the Hookhill pack. To be honest, I had no idea what that meant. Nor did I know how a man can bend down and suddenly stand on four paws, growing a tail! It came as news to me! But the biggest shock was how it turned out that I also can warp into a beast with a furry tail above my ass! From being an unsuccessful yet optimistic guy without an income but with a sense of sarcasm, to then kind of belong to town's richest man, becoming the subject of an Alpha battle. I understand if you're confused. So was I! But let me rewind the tape and take everything from the beginning. Lean back and embrace your sassiness! Because sassiness rules and is needed when dealing with a twat! Heads up! This book contains mature themes like smut, mpreg, violence & bad language. It addresses important topics like rights & gender. I want to highlight these themes but don't intend to devalue anyone stereotypically. It's a fictional story intended to entertain but with important topics. Trigger warning for abusive-like violence and oppression, mainly towards the end.

An Everlasting Problem (Phun And Noh AU Fan Fiction) by LittleKittyWasabi

This is a boy x boy fan fiction. Don't like gay love then move on. This isn't the story for you. There will be cursing in this story. If you don't like profanity please move on. Thank you. ============================ Cover by: JaeMi1 ============================ Have you ever met a vampire? No? Ah, lucky you. Vampires are a pain in the ass. Trust me I've met a couple. Thanks to that stupid ass Ohm I was stalked, forced to co-habitat, and pushed into some weird confusing battle going on for a stupid title. Pain in the asses! The biggest issue was the feelings stirring inside me. They're weird and icky. No matter what I do I can't stop them. And they get worse whenever that jerk, Phun, is near me. My heart constricts and my brain gets weird. Can't I just go back to my peaceful life, please? Excerpt: I shuffled my feet, staring down at them, growing far more uncomfortable than I ever wanted to be. I heard a deep chuckle roll from him. My eyes shot up to meet his. I had to swallow down my agitation as his eyes twinkled with amusement. Can you believe it? The bastard found my reactions funny! My face crumbled into a sneer. I slammed my hands on the arms of my chair and pushed myself up. I glared at the bastard, trying my best to make my face as ruthless as I could. The infuriating man chuckled again, his smirk blooming into a full smile. I had to force down whatever feelings was bubbling up. He had an amazing smile. Heart racing and knee melting type of amazing. =============================== This is an AU fan fiction. I do not own the characters portrayed in this story, I merely asked them to dance to a different beat. The characters are created and owned by INDRYTIMES ( twitter: @hedshew) Show her love for these wonderful characters and her amazing story. ===============================

Into Wonderland by opossumollie

Mc is a human and goes by they/them and I tried to keep descriptions as vague as possible for people to insert themselves or an Oc into it! If I do miss anything (Accidentally mention gender, sexual orientation, hair color, skin color, hair mention at all) please comment so I can fix it immediately! My goal is to be able to have anyone be able to insert themselves in the story. This started off as a self insert so I might slip up and mention my own descriptors on accident and I would like to try to avoid that as much as possible! Essentially where Mc hops through each Twst story- some plot lines are followed completely,some are altered to fit my story (lets be honest here- only Heartslabyuls chapter is accurate to the story. The rest I twisted to make the villains the good guys which, I guess, is the exact plot of Twisted Wonderland.) Can be read separately but there are mentions of the previous stories. Cover art is by me (courtesy of absolute boredom in online school)

"Hi there."/(Modern HTTYD au. Heatherxfemoc)|(Complete) by ILikeWerewolfBooks

(Complete) "Hi, there." "You say that all the time." "Are you annoyed by it?" "Not at all." A modern Httyd Au, in which the gang go to university, party on the weekends, are concerned for their grades and all that comes with being an adult. But what happens when a girl from another country begins at their school? How will Heather deal with her lesbian panic every time she is around? Is this girl even a good person? And who is her father, and what does he do? Inspired by my Heatherxfemoc, 'the lost riders'. Modern au as I stated before, and both my girls are still madly in love, they just don't know it yet. *None of these characters are mine exept my oc and a few others, the rest belong to DreamWorks. The art (for the cover) I found on tumbler: pavlek 4000. Amazing art, check them out.*

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Into Wonderland cover

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Straight-Up Not Having A Good Time At Night Raven College: Prologue

PROLOGUE: Thanks, I Hate Being Welcomed To The Villain's World. (COMPLETED) The misadventures of Prefect Kat, the 19-year-old ace lesbian isekai'd into a school full of problematic pretty-boys, armed with only her lack of f*cks and knowledge from years of mental health treatment. Will she survive? Will she ever get home? Will this damn cat ever stop causing problems? How long will it be until she even SEES another woman? Please, she is so gay and so, so lonely. Writing the events of Twisted Wonderland as if I (or at least a version of myself that would actually progress the story) were the main character. CW: Swears (I swear like a sailor), descriptions of violence (describing in-game events; my style gets pretty prosey.) A lot of artistic license/minor worldbuilding/details/etc. Probably no ships; definitely no selfships or MC/OC+Canon ships or whatever you wanna call it. If there are ships, they're gonna be more subtext than anything else. If I go too OOC with ur faves I'm sorry, I'm doing my best but I'm dumb and mostly just try to get the 'vibes' right for each character; also might comedically exaggerate some traits for Shenanigans purposes sometimes. I own nothing besides myself; all characters/settings belong to Disney and Yana Toboso, etc., etc., pls no class-action lawsuit I have no money