the space between
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Sedang dalam proses, Awal publikasi Jul 22, 2020
Her eyes search mine, and I can see the conflict in them, the way she's trying to find the right thing to say. She doesn't answer right away, but I force myself to hold her gaze.

Finally, she exhales, leaning back against the seat. "I don't know what I want," she says, her voice trembling. "But I don't want to lose you. I just... I'm trying to figure it all out." Her hands drop from the wheel, landing in her lap like she's run out of strength.

The words hit me harder than I expect, and for a moment, I can't speak. I look away, my chest tight. "Well, I know what I want," I say, the words tumbling out before I can stop them. My voice is soft, almost shaking. "I want you, Analia."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Analia has a boyfriend. A good one. The kind that makes sense, that fits neatly into the life she's spent years building. Safe. Easy. The right choice.

Lexie is none of those things.

She's messy and reckless, always running toward something or running away. She smokes too much, doesn't apologize for the way she takes up space, and makes Analia feel like her whole life is one wrong move away from falling apart.

The kiss was a mistake. Analia knows that. She tells herself it didn't mean anything, that she can bury it, move on, pretend like it never happened.

But it did happen. And it keeps happening-in glances that last too long, in texts she shouldn't be sending, in the way Lexie's name sits too heavy in her chest.

It's not supposed to be like this. She's not supposed to want her.

But she does. And the more she tries to push it down, the more it spills into everything. Analia tells herself walking away from her is the only option, but it never feels like one. Not when Lexie looks at her like that. Not when her heart keeps betraying her.

And suddenly, she's stuck between wanting her and walking away, unable to do either.
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SELF DESTRUCTIVE CURIOSITY

59 Bagian Sedang dalam proses Dewasa

Naked, vulnerable, and waiting. Her mind screams What are you doing? but it doesn't reach her lips. Why doesn't it reach her lips? Why is she so quiet, so compliant, when all she wants to do is run away? Is this how far she's fallen? Kneeling in front of this woman-this infuriating, proud,stunning woman-who somehow knows exactly how to push her to the edge? She wants to say something-anything-to snap herself out of this haze. She wants to tell Khani she's not some toy, not some... submissive plaything for her pleasure. But when she tilts her head, lips curling into that smug smile, and looks down at Asha like she owns her... Asha forgets. Where's your pride, Asha? she wonders silently. You were supposed to be different. Strong. Independent. So why are you submitting to her like this?