The Dead Parrot sketch as edited so it doesn't sound awkward if you're a modern American/Canadian! I also added some brackets for where you live for the train part. Never be made fun of for saying "squire", or "lad", or "Guv'na"!
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It's like a bunch of Public Service Announcements, from me to you. Bear with me and buckle up.
It's going to be a bumpy ride.
Completed Sept. 14, 2019.
** I wrote this when I was younger, so sorry about that.