BEFORE I GO

"How much time do I have?"

"Considering the extent of the blockage, if you don't opt for surgery, a couple of months at the max."

"What are the odds of me surviving the surgery?"

"Very less, your heart is pretty damaged and weak, at most 10%, I would say. Even if you do opt for surgery, it would add only...ummmm.... a few more months to your life."

A ghost of a smile dances on my lips as I stare directly into my friend's moist eyes. Abruptly I push myself to stand on my feet choosing to ignore the gush of pain it sends to my left side. Without looking back, I make my way out of the cube.

"Manish.." A concerned voice calls out. I pay no heed though and keep walking. What could I possibly say to a shattered friend when I myself don't know what to feel.

So this is how I go. If I were to be completely honest with myself the only thing I taste in my mind is non chalance. What difference would it make whether I be in this world or not? Would anyone cry for me when I go? Well some would and while the others might be well... happy? But in the end, none would care enough to remember me.

As I step into the lawn, a faint petrichor greets my nostrils. The rain has finally stopped that had been pouring incessantly all day. All that remained was a tender drizzle smothering my skin. The dark clouds have started dissipating with the exception of a few clouds scattered here and there.

This was how it was all going to end. The darkness in me would finally be squandered. The showers of solitude would finally stop. I'd be peaceful. I don't know much about glee though, hence cannot say much about that, but peace yes, that is something I aspire for. I wonder if I would have any regret, any undone task. Only one. Only one thing to be sorted out BEFORE I GO.