Is This Normal?

!!TRIGGER WARNING!! Especially if you have BPD or derealization and depersonalization.
As of right now I'm having a very big episode of not feeling real. It's been really scary and hard to deal with it. I decided I'd try to write a little short story about this girl and include her thoughts to try to explain how it feels like to go through this. Maybe to spread awareness? Or maybe to seek the answer that I am in fact not alone. It's a very scary thing to go through and I really suggest if you are dealing what I'm dealing with, maybe not read this because I don't want it to trigger something.