A Struggle with Identity (Open Diary)
- Reads 272
- Votes 15
- Parts 5
Ongoing15m
Last published Sun, Nov 15, 2015
"When you thought they were accepting, when you thought they were open minded. When you realized it is all just a thought."
Just like Augustus Waters, I fear oblivion. I want to have a constant representation of myself to all my Wattpad friends. A representaion that FashionMonkey lives on. Join me with my struggle to find myself in this slightly homophobic provincial-city.
“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth.”
― William W. Purkey
All Rights Reserved
Join the largest storytelling communityGet personalized story recommendations, save your favourites to your library, and comment and vote to grow your community.
You may also like
My Poetry Escape
I may just be a girl. No one special. Nothing compared to others. In the eyes of the universe, I am just a little speck of dust. My light may not shine very bright, and it may not be of any use, but I am me. Writing is my only escape out of this world. I cry rivers of ink and climb mountains of words. I may not write as well as others, but my writing is just a different style. They're my feelings. I really do hope you can connect to some of the work in here. Please, do not copy any of this work without informing me first. Thank you! "My Escape" I have a supply, In the closet near my bed, Of past memories, Hanging by a thread. A thread, Connected to my mind, That thread, Just follows me around. I have a hole, In the middle of my heart, That hole fills up, When someone's torn apart. I have a tear, Accompanying my lonely eye, Knowing, whenever I'm alone, I can sit in a corner and cry. Even though, These things are there, I still have ink, a notebook, and a pen, To care. I write and write, To my heart's desire, New feelings erupt, By the hour. Writing is, My one escape, In this cruel and careless world, I have the power, to awake. "A Story Without Words" A story told, In a little tune, A golden smile, And a shining tear, Rolling down my cheek. A little breeze, The nice sun, A marvelous day, Turned into a wet one. The memories dripped, Down on my cotton white shirt, Leaving stains, On my malicious heart. Your smile, Worth a thousand words, Can't cheer up This depressive mind. A storm bewildered, Your indecisive mind, Drowning me, In my reckless thoughts. A rainy day, A gleaming lie, A story not told, With words Nor sounds. This story is, But a mere thought, In this universe We share, Every night. This story is, A withering storm, Drifting off, In this careless soul. This story is, Not told with sounds, But a never ending blow, Of swirling emotions, Bottled up inside.Complete
Faded Daydreams: Storybook Confessions
❝ 𝙛𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙨 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙨 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 ❞ hi, it's me clara again and this time around i've decided to head forwards a new route in my songwriting- possibly a side of my songwriting you've never seen. you've probably read my heartbreak songs, and that's great, but i've moved on to a new chapter of my songwriting and there's truly nothing like this. i feel like i've begun again, but at the same time i'm going back to the basics. just know this feelings not rare, and i'm still figuring out this coming of age. it's all coming down like the aglow shore of the waterfall, whilst the moonlight reflects their light across. i'm not even trying to be poetic rn, i'm just simply referencing songs that you'll soon see and i'm so excited!! i really do hope you'll enjoy these, just like you enjoyed 'sweet misery'?! i've come a long way since then and there's so much new songs to come! STARTED: may 27th, 2023 COMPLETED: april 27th, 2024 REVIVED: november 27th, 2024
𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐘
𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲. 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧. 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞. 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲'𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫. (𝐧.) 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 ; 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐮 𝐥𝐥 • 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐝𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐯𝐚𝐩𝐞 𝜗𝜚Complete
These things take time
Fern meets Cooper, they have a great time together. But Cooper has a secret, he's not out and has a girlfriend. Will Cooper choose freedom with Fern? ... "So what is an angel like you doing at a party like this" Cooper muttered looking directly into my eyes. "What do you mean" I asked him in confusion. "I mean, you don't strike me as the type to attend parties this wild. You look like you belong anywhere but here, maybe in the clouds even" Cooper chucked. "But I'm here with you" I sarcastically rolled my eyes. "Let me take you to the clouds then" Cooper objected. His eyes told me that everything was okay and that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. He tasted like watermelon and I wanted to juice him, ready to drown in him. Each second, I grew hungrier for him despite his lips being on mine. I had met him four hours ago but it felt like I had found exactly what I had been missing my whole life. ••• Disclaimers: •This is a bxb/mxm story! •This is my first book on Wattpad *respectful* constructive criticism is welcome🤍 Cover art: Created on Canva, the reference image is from - https://i.pinimg.com/originals/00/a4/ff/00a4ff75350d8405a148fb5c5572399e.jpg -https://pin.it/3X9QoC5 Started: Aug, 29 2023 Completed: -
Anomalies ✔
"I am the textbook definition of in love with you." *** Castor Rex: He's snarky, quiet and mysterious. A secret keeper. He doesn't like his life to be on display. People avoid him, even if they respect him. Jasper Red: He's polite, nice and helpful. A open book. He likes filling his life with other people and their love. People love him, they can't help it. Because of his quiet nature, snarky smirks and sarcastic words Castor has always had a hard time when it came to making friends -and keeping them. Something Jazz doesn't struggle with. With Jazz's protective nature, shyness and many friends he doesn't need someone else to fill a spot in his life -at least, that's what he thought. Then they met. And that empty part in Jazz's heart felt a little bit bigger because he started to realize Cas could fill it. Cas sees him as a grinning, happy dork he has no chance with. Jazz sees him as a adorable, grumpy jock that now, is his. Castor wants to get through the school year as quietly as possible but with how loud Jazz loves, neither of them know if it's possible, and to make matters worse they're roommates for the rest of the year. It's only a matter of time before they come together or fall apart. *** As a private person, someone who doesn't share myself with others, I can say that learning how to interact with others is difficult. It's like baking, almost, you have to mix the right ingredients together, and if you add the wrong ones things can taste hideous even if they look good. It's a lot like our words. But I've mastered how to tell someone just a little about myself but doing it in a way that makes the person in front of me think they know a lot. Jasper, somehow, sees through this every fucking time and it's absolutely infuriating. He's never satisfied with just a little of me, with my hidden truth, and it's the most annoying thing I've ever experienced. *** @STESLARA made the second POV in her book 'Jasper Red's Anomaly'Complete
A Hunger to Share ( Book Two )
Let's go to Germany And meet Ada Brooks She thirst for advanture And change Let's meet beautiful men with hearts of gold And dangerous girls with eyes of thunder Let's search for the cure of immorality And fall in love Make friends and hopefuly lose none Let's forgive And swim in the storm Trigger warning:Rape, torture, self-harm. I don't own any of the pictures.Complete
A Taste Of Oblivion : The Short Comings Chronicles VOL1
Stories heal, stories hurt, stories create a fantasy but not all stories have happy endings. "I look everything like my father, I look nothing like my father," -My Fathers Son "I always thought I was hard to love till you made it seem so easy," - A Kind Of Feeling "I know it's dumb, relying on memories we had, used to have, wish we had because I can't move on" -It's Fine, I'm Fine, We're Fine "My mind was working over time, it was on over drive, cranking and punching out various thoughts, I was overthinking," -Mother, Hear My Heart Beat "We're all told sins are the same and that none is held to a higher standard than the other but sexuality instantly is barred from that, exampt because if it's not black or white it simply canot not be grey," -The Most "We said no strings attached yet they attached from the moment we met," -Stupid People "He grew up before he learnt how to overcome the monsters under his bed till they manifested to monsters inside of his head cause he had anxiety before he could even spell what anxiety was," -I Don't Know "Maybe something new will happen this time," -Text Me Back Eight different stories, with eight different outcomes all woven together by one pen accompanied by eight poems they stand.Complete
Confessions of a autosexual ✔️
after bad relationship I decided ( had no choice but to question and reevaluate my life. After coming and being in a relationship with a serial killer type person for my own safety i choice fly solo. I am also wired to be autosexual/autosexual genetically. It was after hearing from the dork's ex that I deserve better that thought about being in love with my self. It is not a form of narcissism but just an orientation and an abscure one at that that is on the rise.Complete
I may just be a girl. No one special. Nothing compared to others. In the eyes of the universe, I am just a little speck of dust. My light may not shine very bright, and it may not be of any use, but I am me. Writing is my only escape out of this world. I cry rivers of ink and climb mountains of words. I may not write as well as others, but my writing is just a different style. They're my feelings. I really do hope you can connect to some of the work in here. Please, do not copy any of this work without informing me first. Thank you! "My Escape" I have a supply, In the closet near my bed, Of past memories, Hanging by a thread. A thread, Connected to my mind, That thread, Just follows me around. I have a hole, In the middle of my heart, That hole fills up, When someone's torn apart. I have a tear, Accompanying my lonely eye, Knowing, whenever I'm alone, I can sit in a corner and cry. Even though, These things are there, I still have ink, a notebook, and a pen, To care. I write and write, To my heart's desire, New feelings erupt, By the hour. Writing is, My one escape, In this cruel and careless world, I have the power, to awake. "A Story Without Words" A story told, In a little tune, A golden smile, And a shining tear, Rolling down my cheek. A little breeze, The nice sun, A marvelous day, Turned into a wet one. The memories dripped, Down on my cotton white shirt, Leaving stains, On my malicious heart. Your smile, Worth a thousand words, Can't cheer up This depressive mind. A storm bewildered, Your indecisive mind, Drowning me, In my reckless thoughts. A rainy day, A gleaming lie, A story not told, With words Nor sounds. This story is, But a mere thought, In this universe We share, Every night. This story is, A withering storm, Drifting off, In this careless soul. This story is, Not told with sounds, But a never ending blow, Of swirling emotions, Bottled up inside.
More detailsContent Guidelines