sollux's personal journal
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Someone New ✓
"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboardمكتمِلة
When He Strangled Her--a story about love
What if your success is attributed to something or someone wrong? What if you can't appreciate who you are today without giving credit to an abuser? What if the abuser is your father and the inflictor your mother? Would you still call the place you grew up home and their affection love?مكتمِلة
𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒔, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌
"𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒉𝒖𝒎𝒂𝒏, 𝒊'𝒎 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒑𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒍𝒚 𝒃𝒐𝒓𝒏." "𝒊 𝒂𝒎 𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒉𝒖𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒉𝒖𝒎𝒂𝒏." "𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑖𝑛 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑦𝑜𝑢．" 𝐀 𝐁𝐒𝐃 𝐘𝐚𝐫𝐡𝐚𝐫 (𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐩, 🖤🤍) 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 ⚠️ 𝐓𝐖: 𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞 𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐠𝐨𝐫𝐞, 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 ⚠️ [𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 :) ]مكتمِلة
Little strangers
.مكتمِلة
"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboard
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