Endgame

Author's Note:

A part of me still worries about this work's grammar and syntax. I should probably go back and relook at it - and my knack for passive sentences. I was trying to go for a prose poem with this piece - the collision of vivid imagery and a more prose style of formatting. Endgame came from a dream. Some old photos of Grand Central Station served as the basis for location (http://justfunfacts.com/interesting-facts-about-grand-central-terminal/) (https://www.photosofoldamerica.com/Trains-Grand_Central_Station_Interior_197.htm). Much like different languages, each person has their dream symbolism. For me, stations have always correlated to relationships - friendships, my relationship with myself. Chess has symbolized both struggle and connection - a drive to win the "game", adulting, trying to fit into the mainstream of society, trying to understand your opponent.

It was not until the very end of the dream that I realized that I had been playing against myself via a mirror. I tried very hard to find imagery that would allude to the mirror but never explicitly state that it was there. The goal was immersion. I wanted to give the reader anxiety. There is this being that knows so much about you, and you don't understand why. I wanted juxtaposition - being seen and vulnerable in such a crowded location and also not seen. There were also elements about figuring out that you lost sight of what you wanted and who you are. It was supposed to convey the constant search for the answers and to find where those answers lie. The time anachronism also plays into the feeling of something being off. Those old photos of Grand Central Station are the location basis, but there is a cell phone. It is a confusing stew - much like identity and connections. It was supposed to convey all of that. I am not sure that it did. I am also not sure if I want it to express all of that too.