"My Thoughts Are Stars No One Can Fathom Into Constellations." - Beccy Boo - Wattpad

Story cover for "My Thoughts Are Stars No One Can Fathom Into Constellations." by JustThatGirlxo

"My Thoughts Are Stars No One Can Fathom Into Constellations."

Reads 35
Votes 2
Parts 3
Time 9m

Reads 35
Votes 2
Parts 3
Time 9m

dark depression secrets selfharm thoughts

To be blatant, this is no ordinary "love" story, or "teen" story, or "fanfiction". In fact, this isn't even a story. 

Here, shall be my contemporary release, until I find the longing to go back to my - although destructive - previous "release".
This isn't going to be happiness, and rainbows, and butterflies. Maybe a slight 2% of it. 
This place, in which you're intrigued to know more, is where my true essence really comes to life. Where you'll know all about me - my troubles, my doubts, my problems. You'll be transported to the depths of my mind. To some, it may seem like nonsensical ramble, but to few, it is so utterly and completely relatable, they'll find themselves hooked, unable to let go. 

I can't promise this will be updated regularly, but I can promise the contents of this are of the truest nature. 

With that been said, I bid you a goodbye, until next time - or not. 
~ JustThatGirlxoAll Rights Reserved

dark depression secrets selfharm thoughts

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3 parts

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The Mad House Is Where I Belong by felicityderos

I like inflicting pain. Not on others but on myself. Some people would call me depressed but I'm not. If anything the pain makes me happy. I started "self harming" at the mere age of nine. Or at least, that's what she called it. My therapist, I mean. She ended up giving me a life time supply of antidepressants and some shitty advice. I'm now eighteen, rotting in jail, and awaiting my death sentence. This is my story and if I'm quite honest, you don't want to hear it. +++ awards: ➵ Winner, Short Story Category, "Summer Book Awards" @Capybara100 ➵ Overall Winner, "Summer Book Awards" @Capybara100 status: ➵ started - 19/08/17 ➵ finished- 07/11/18 note: ➵ Please don't copy me. I don't appreciate it and will block you and report you. No writer likes to be copied and neither do readers. Readers want something which is unique and original.

The Suicide Equation by William007w

For the last month I've had nothing but dark thoughts. I finally decided to speak to someone about it. I went to Mr.Harn and told him everything. All he did was hold me and bring me to the schools councilor. He told her the story I was able to utter. She called my mother and arranged for me to be put into therapy. I spoke with her for half an hour. "You've been through way to much for a girl your age!" She said in astonishment. "I know." I replied. "How are you alive?" She asked with both worry and curiosity. "I honestly don't know." I spoke the truth. How am I still alive?

Worth the Risk by KateRavenaw

August & Colin | WRU series | book 1 We take risks. We make mistakes. We lie. We love. We hurt. We lose total control. I took a risk. I paid the price. I made a mistake. I felt the guilt. I lied. I lie. I loved. I try not to. I hurt. I still do. I lost control. I'm losing again. I try to stick to my plan, I try to follow my rules, I try to silence my heart, I try to keep control of the domino stones that represent my life. But one domino fell and the rest just followed. *** "We shouldn't do this," he whispers against my lips. I should applaud him for having the strength to act on that thought because I haven't been able to. At one point I wanted to, but his touches made the impulse to stop vanish. Now, the only thing I want to act on is the longing inside my chest as I think about demolishing the space between us. "Do you want to stop?" I can feel his frown against my forehead. He nudges my nose before placing a featherlight kiss on my mouth. His hands slide over my jawline, his thumbs slowly caressing my cheeks. He gives me another kiss. Slow and deliberately, as if he's still debating the answer to my question as he slicks his tongue over mine. He softly sucks on my bottom lip, dragging it with him when he pulls away. "I can't," he confesses before he presses his lips back on mine. *** All Rights Reserved (Do not copy this story, thank you :))

Jesse's Girl (COMPLETE) by xHeatLifex

They had both been dealt enough tragedy in their short teenaged lives, more than anyone should ever have to endure. Will two self destructive teens coming together do more harm than good? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I don't know what came over me. The poor guy just asked if he could help and I went all 'crazy psycho bitch' on his ass. I couldn't breath. I needed water. I needed air. Fuck why was is it so hot in here. Was it the fact that the moment his hand left my skin I felt an unbearable need to feel his touch again or was it hearing him ask if I needed help that made me feel helpless and broken once again. I didn't know what it was but I felt like I was suffocating, like the jersey I was wearing was strangling every ounce of oxygen from body. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * This story had been reviewed recently. There are now added scenes and further edits - 2024 *

Not me. (2023) by MineOnlyFriend2

so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here. This is for you. For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides. For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly. For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning. For everyone who never could find the words to say why. For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much. For everyone who had to pick themselves back up. For everyone who had to parent themselves. For everyone fighting an invisible battle. For everyone who has been underestimated. For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope. For everyone who found other means to silence their voices. For everyone who was silenced. For everyone who was over powered. For everyone who was made to be less. For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent. For everyone asking themselves, why? Why would you do this? What did I do? Why is this happening to me? It was never your fault.

Evolution by andshesmiles

There are a lot of things you don't really think about until they happen to you. Take rape, for instance. I always thought, "That won't happen to me. I have a boyfriend. I trust him. He would never take advantage of me like that..." I couldn't have been more wrong. Love in this day and age is often confused for manipulation and abuse. The warning signs are here. The things we say will tell us everything that is wrong. You are worth more than what you think you are. It's not your fault. If they tell you otherwise, get out. Burn the bridge. Always remember someone is waiting for you to walk into their life. Someone needs you. Someone loves you. Getting away from all of the wrong people and finding the right ones could save you. I can promise you right now that it saved me. These are the journal entries and selected poems from my first experience of love that left a unpleasant taste in my mouth- quite literally. I am putting this out for the whole world to see because I hope everyone will learn from my experience. People can see. We have no excuses to continue living our lives in ignorance. ...WARNING... HARMFUL THEMES INCLUDING MENTION OF SUICIDE, SELF HARM, AND RAPE. THIS HAS EXPLICIT CONTENT. RECOVERY AND AWARENESS IS THE PURPOSE OF SHARING. DO NOT READ IF THESE THEMES ARE OFFENSIVE OR HARMFUL TO YOU.

Anneliese || ✎ by pitifulkisses

As long as I have you. *Description still in progress.* Anneliese is a sweet, kind, empathetic, and outgoing young woman. Often looking for new ways to meet friends, she wouldn't pass the opportunity to chat someone up. Even a stranger at the diner she works at to pass time. Xavier, a dedicated man takes to the nativity of Anneliese. He's direct, but prefers to keep to himself. Getting the job done is what he can do, so he'll stick to it. ~ ❀ ~ I can't help but stare at her. Her face, lips, and smile, and her nose. Even her long, curled lashes. "Let's do a butterfly kiss!" She exclaims, pulling my face close suddenly. Kiss? My heart hammers in my chest, my breath hitching. Her small hands hold my face close to hers. It's not very forceful, I could pull away if I wanted to, but I let her have control. Her hands are warm and soft against my jaw. Getting closer, her eyes lashes flutter and I find myself holding my breath. She brushes her lashes to mine, her breath fanning against my lips. Subconsciously, I lean forward, wanting my lips to be on hers. June flutter her lashes, grazing her lashes to mine. Out of nowhere she bursts out in a fit of laughter. I flinch back. Butterfly kiss. That was not a fucking kiss. ~ ❀ ~ *Warning* Mature themes will be covered (language, actions, etc).

The Death Of Me by HannahxGracex

A girl has her problems, no matter what happens. There will always be a biological problem with a girl, even if she denies the problem’s existence. She will have your days whenever she is down. Her problems... killing her soul little by little. But she doesn’t always want the death to be apart of her. As she fights her depression, the numbers of scars rising and the blood being lost, Ever-Grace finds herself losing herself. With the departure of her friends companionship and her boyfriend’s love, will she ever be the same ever again? Will she ever be in love with herself like she used to be? With sanity ever be apart of her everyday life like it used to be? Will it come so easily like it once was...? Will anything ever be the same like it used to be or will it ever not? There are so many questions to be answered but nothing that the tendency of being answered. As time passes by with all the stupid emotion, she loses herself. She loses the love for herself that might never return. Or will it? Nothing is guaranteed. Not even the death of me.

Falling Apart by 1_Will_3

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You don't know me by You_Dont_Know_Me9374

⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ Not for the faint of heart, I explore dark parts of my mind and unfurl them for your own enjoyment. All of these stories are true. You don't know me, and you're never going to. This is basically just a shitty diary of my life with very few details as to who I am, Don't want to scare you off. Feel free to read but I don't really care. I'm just a screwed up guy that everyone knows and nobody cares about really. If you can't tell I'll probably swear quite a bit in this so if you don't like that I'm sorry, but this really isn't a good read anyway it's just me complaining about the fact I still exist. Actually no, whilst I did start this to complain about my life, the stories are fluctuating, as I discover I am infact worthy of love, even I don't believe it at all times. I hope you enjoy my rantings. ⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️

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Slide 1 of 10

The Mad House Is Where I Belong cover

The Suicide Equation cover

Worth the Risk cover

Jesse's Girl (COMPLETE) cover

Not me. (2023) cover

Evolution cover

Anneliese || ✎ cover

The Death Of Me cover

Falling Apart cover

You don't know me cover

The Mad House Is Where I Belong

I like inflicting pain. Not on others but on myself. Some people would call me depressed but I'm not. If anything the pain makes me happy. I started "self harming" at the mere age of nine. Or at least, that's what she called it. My therapist, I mean. She ended up giving me a life time supply of antidepressants and some shitty advice. I'm now eighteen, rotting in jail, and awaiting my death sentence. This is my story and if I'm quite honest, you don't want to hear it. +++ awards: ➵ Winner, Short Story Category, "Summer Book Awards" @Capybara100 ➵ Overall Winner, "Summer Book Awards" @Capybara100 status: ➵ started - 19/08/17 ➵ finished- 07/11/18 note: ➵ Please don't copy me. I don't appreciate it and will block you and report you. No writer likes to be copied and neither do readers. Readers want something which is unique and original.