"My Thoughts Are Stars No One Can Fathom Into Constellations." - Beccy Boo - Wattpad

Story cover for "My Thoughts Are Stars No One Can Fathom Into Constellations." by JustThatGirlxo

"My Thoughts Are Stars No One Can Fathom Into Constellations."

Reads 35
Votes 2
Parts 3
Time 9m

Reads 35
Votes 2
Parts 3
Time 9m

dark depression secrets selfharm thoughts

To be blatant, this is no ordinary "love" story, or "teen" story, or "fanfiction". In fact, this isn't even a story. 

Here, shall be my contemporary release, until I find the longing to go back to my - although destructive - previous "release".
This isn't going to be happiness, and rainbows, and butterflies. Maybe a slight 2% of it. 
This place, in which you're intrigued to know more, is where my true essence really comes to life. Where you'll know all about me - my troubles, my doubts, my problems. You'll be transported to the depths of my mind. To some, it may seem like nonsensical ramble, but to few, it is so utterly and completely relatable, they'll find themselves hooked, unable to let go. 

I can't promise this will be updated regularly, but I can promise the contents of this are of the truest nature. 

With that been said, I bid you a goodbye, until next time - or not. 
~ JustThatGirlxoAll Rights Reserved

dark depression secrets selfharm thoughts

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Falling Apart by 1_Will_3

*TRIGGER WARNING: DEALS WITH DEPRESSION, SELF HARM AND SUICIDE* Amber is sixteen years old and to sugarcoat it... She hasn't had the best upbringing. She would love a different life, one where she can see her mother again and not be stuck with her abusive father. A life where she doesn't get taunted and hit and torn apart by everyone who she has ever seen. But she would never swap, she doesn't want anyone to endure the pain she's gone through. So instead, she tries to get rid of it... Again. But much to her disbelief, she is saved by the people she would least expect. She learns secrets about them that no one else knows. She feels included. Cared for. And dare I say it... She felt loved. For once in her life, she felt truly happy to be alive. But just when Amber felt safe, her life was flipped upside down and her past came back to haunt her just when she least expected it... (Sorry, I suck at descriptions, don't let it put you off) Ranking: #64 in Awareness #15 in Mental Health Awareness #73 in saddness

If Only You Knew by msxash

"Why can't you just tell me what's wrong" he whispered, getting quieter than before and cupped my face in his hands. With every passing day we grow closer and closer. I feel like I'm leading him on but how could I just tell him? It's not that simple to just share my secret. I can't. Not to him, not to anyone. ** Bianca, the quietest girl in the class yet probably the nicest. The most afraid yet the most brave. The girl that is continuously served with things, that she could never in a million years deserve. Cameron, in her eyes, he's the most amazing guy ever. Cute smile, a freckled face and dimples, he had everything that she'd want in a guy. Of course that's just because it was he who had those qualities in the first place. He's been her only crush for quite some time, but he hasn't ever shown the slightest interest in her until now. When she was being continuously punched on the ground, he'd just stood there with his so-called girlfriend; laughing, because he had a 'reputation to uphold'. It didn't matter though, because she loved it when he laughed. Now they are chosen to work on a project together, in the process he learns more about her and becomes somewhat attracted to her. Could the last person on this earth you'd ever expect to, ironically fall deeply in love with Bianca? What's going to happen if he finds out about her big secret? And his supposed girlfriend? Maybe, just maybe he can become the cure that she's always needed.

Not me. (2023) by MineOnlyFriend2

so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here. This is for you. For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides. For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly. For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning. For everyone who never could find the words to say why. For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much. For everyone who had to pick themselves back up. For everyone who had to parent themselves. For everyone fighting an invisible battle. For everyone who has been underestimated. For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope. For everyone who found other means to silence their voices. For everyone who was silenced. For everyone who was over powered. For everyone who was made to be less. For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent. For everyone asking themselves, why? Why would you do this? What did I do? Why is this happening to me? It was never your fault.

Worth the Risk by KateRavenaw

August & Colin | WRU series | book 1 We take risks. We make mistakes. We lie. We love. We hurt. We lose total control. I took a risk. I paid the price. I made a mistake. I felt the guilt. I lied. I lie. I loved. I try not to. I hurt. I still do. I lost control. I'm losing again. I try to stick to my plan, I try to follow my rules, I try to silence my heart, I try to keep control of the domino stones that represent my life. But one domino fell and the rest just followed. *** "We shouldn't do this," he whispers against my lips. I should applaud him for having the strength to act on that thought because I haven't been able to. At one point I wanted to, but his touches made the impulse to stop vanish. Now, the only thing I want to act on is the longing inside my chest as I think about demolishing the space between us. "Do you want to stop?" I can feel his frown against my forehead. He nudges my nose before placing a featherlight kiss on my mouth. His hands slide over my jawline, his thumbs slowly caressing my cheeks. He gives me another kiss. Slow and deliberately, as if he's still debating the answer to my question as he slicks his tongue over mine. He softly sucks on my bottom lip, dragging it with him when he pulls away. "I can't," he confesses before he presses his lips back on mine. *** All Rights Reserved (Do not copy this story, thank you :))

Cold Water by adaline_meadows

[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression

In Love With Blindfolds On by cjacks1124

I gave the best of myself to someone who didn't have anything to lose. I didn't know how to avoid my lover's toxic and abusive flames. My lover's twisted words were like a maze inside of my head that I couldn't escape. Sadly, my lover's actions hypnotized my thoughts and paralyzed my thinking. I learned the hard way that love isn't leaning in for a kiss, and a fist meets you halfway. Love isn't being a punching bag because someone decided they wanted to beat on you today. Love isn't saying I love you just because someone wants to keep you to themselves. I tried to be there for my lover, but I learned it is impossible to fix the broken pieces when the glass has shattered. There will always be pieces that are not repairable. However, I kept going right back to the person who I needed to walk away from. I was afraid, and I wasn't brave enough to wake up from this nightmare! I made the choice to suffer when life is meant to be lived and enjoyed. Will I find the courage to know my worth and know that I deserve better than the distasteful lies that are whispered in my ears? Will I have the strength to fight my insecurities? Will, I set myself free, or will I let my love be the death of me?

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐞 || 𝟏𝟖+ by ashluvfictionalmen

Two broken souls in the midst of a crazy world. Two souls running away from their past. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel was cracking, slowly closing in. When these two connect, as if they were set on the same path, light creeps in through the cracks, and for or a moment, the tunnel seems to have a way out, but what if it collapses before they make it? - "You saved my life." The words come out as a whisper, I've been dying to say that. I thank god every day that he came into my life when he did. "Fuck Vivian, you don't know how much I needed you." I tear up just a little as he speaks, I don't know the last time I cried happy tears. I bring my hands up to cup his cheeks, resting my forehead against his. "No matter how much I push, I don't mean it. Please don't give up on me." My words seem to relieve him in some way as I feel his shoulders relax. "Even when I'm gone, I'll be by your side, forever." He brings his hand, sticking his pinky out. "pinky promise."I wrap mine around his, placing a kiss on his lips. Warning before you read!! This is my first book! This book will contain topics of SA, eating disorders, and mature content, if any of these things may bother you in anyway, please scroll! I hope when I finish this book I can public a clean version, with a different perspective leaving out these topics, but for now, this is how i've envisioned this story to go! Enjoy -Ash🌸

You don't know me by You_Dont_Know_Me9374

⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ Not for the faint of heart, I explore dark parts of my mind and unfurl them for your own enjoyment. All of these stories are true. You don't know me, and you're never going to. This is basically just a shitty diary of my life with very few details as to who I am, Don't want to scare you off. Feel free to read but I don't really care. I'm just a screwed up guy that everyone knows and nobody cares about really. If you can't tell I'll probably swear quite a bit in this so if you don't like that I'm sorry, but this really isn't a good read anyway it's just me complaining about the fact I still exist. Actually no, whilst I did start this to complain about my life, the stories are fluctuating, as I discover I am infact worthy of love, even I don't believe it at all times. I hope you enjoy my rantings. ⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️

The Suicide Equation by William007w

For the last month I've had nothing but dark thoughts. I finally decided to speak to someone about it. I went to Mr.Harn and told him everything. All he did was hold me and bring me to the schools councilor. He told her the story I was able to utter. She called my mother and arranged for me to be put into therapy. I spoke with her for half an hour. "You've been through way to much for a girl your age!" She said in astonishment. "I know." I replied. "How are you alive?" She asked with both worry and curiosity. "I honestly don't know." I spoke the truth. How am I still alive?

Anneliese by pitifulkisses

As long as I have you. *Description still in progress.* Anneliese is a sweet, kind, empathetic, and outgoing young woman. Often looking for new ways to meet friends, she wouldn't pass the opportunity to chat someone up. Even a stranger at the diner she works at to pass time. Xavier, a dedicated man takes to the nativity of Anneliese. He's direct, but prefers to keep to himself. Getting the job done is what he can do, so he'll stick to it. ~ ❀ ~ I can't help but stare at her. Her face, lips, and smile, and her nose. Even her long, curled lashes. "Let's do a butterfly kiss!" She exclaims, pulling my face close suddenly. Kiss? My heart hammers in my chest, my breath hitching. Her small hands hold my face close to hers. It's not very forceful, I could pull away if I wanted to, but I let her have control. Her hands are warm and soft against my jaw. Getting closer, her eyes lashes flutter and I find myself holding my breath. She brushes her lashes to mine, her breath fanning against my lips. Subconsciously, I lean forward, wanting my lips to be on hers. June flutter her lashes, grazing her lashes to mine. Out of nowhere she bursts out in a fit of laughter. I flinch back. Butterfly kiss. That was not a fucking kiss. ~ ❀ ~ *Warning* Mature themes will be covered (language, actions, etc).

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Slide 1 of 10

Falling Apart cover

If Only You Knew cover

Not me. (2023) cover

Worth the Risk cover

Cold Water cover

In Love With Blindfolds On cover

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐞 || 𝟏𝟖+ cover

You don't know me cover

The Suicide Equation cover

Anneliese cover

Falling Apart

TRIGGER WARNING: DEALS WITH DEPRESSION, SELF HARM AND SUICIDE Amber is sixteen years old and to sugarcoat it... She hasn't had the best upbringing. She would love a different life, one where she can see her mother again and not be stuck with her abusive father. A life where she doesn't get taunted and hit and torn apart by everyone who she has ever seen. But she would never swap, she doesn't want anyone to endure the pain she's gone through. So instead, she tries to get rid of it... Again. But much to her disbelief, she is saved by the people she would least expect. She learns secrets about them that no one else knows. She feels included. Cared for. And dare I say it... She felt loved. For once in her life, she felt truly happy to be alive. But just when Amber felt safe, her life was flipped upside down and her past came back to haunt her just when she least expected it... (Sorry, I suck at descriptions, don't let it put you off) Ranking: #64 in Awareness #15 in Mental Health Awareness #73 in saddness