"My Thoughts Are Stars No One Can Fathom Into Constellations." - Beccy Boo - Wattpad

Story cover for "My Thoughts Are Stars No One Can Fathom Into Constellations." by JustThatGirlxo

"My Thoughts Are Stars No One Can Fathom Into Constellations."

Reads 35
Votes 2
Parts 3
Time 9m

Reads 35
Votes 2
Parts 3
Time 9m

dark depression secrets selfharm thoughts

To be blatant, this is no ordinary "love" story, or "teen" story, or "fanfiction". In fact, this isn't even a story. 

Here, shall be my contemporary release, until I find the longing to go back to my - although destructive - previous "release".
This isn't going to be happiness, and rainbows, and butterflies. Maybe a slight 2% of it. 
This place, in which you're intrigued to know more, is where my true essence really comes to life. Where you'll know all about me - my troubles, my doubts, my problems. You'll be transported to the depths of my mind. To some, it may seem like nonsensical ramble, but to few, it is so utterly and completely relatable, they'll find themselves hooked, unable to let go. 

I can't promise this will be updated regularly, but I can promise the contents of this are of the truest nature. 

With that been said, I bid you a goodbye, until next time - or not. 
~ JustThatGirlxoAll Rights Reserved

dark depression secrets selfharm thoughts

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In Love With Blindfolds On by cjacks1124

I gave the best of myself to someone who didn't have anything to lose. I didn't know how to avoid my lover's toxic and abusive flames. My lover's twisted words were like a maze inside of my head that I couldn't escape. Sadly, my lover's actions hypnotized my thoughts and paralyzed my thinking. I learned the hard way that love isn't leaning in for a kiss, and a fist meets you halfway. Love isn't being a punching bag because someone decided they wanted to beat on you today. Love isn't saying I love you just because someone wants to keep you to themselves. I tried to be there for my lover, but I learned it is impossible to fix the broken pieces when the glass has shattered. There will always be pieces that are not repairable. However, I kept going right back to the person who I needed to walk away from. I was afraid, and I wasn't brave enough to wake up from this nightmare! I made the choice to suffer when life is meant to be lived and enjoyed. Will I find the courage to know my worth and know that I deserve better than the distasteful lies that are whispered in my ears? Will I have the strength to fight my insecurities? Will, I set myself free, or will I let my love be the death of me?

Someone New by wambuimuiruriii

"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboard

Evolution by andshesmiles

There are a lot of things you don't really think about until they happen to you. Take rape, for instance. I always thought, "That won't happen to me. I have a boyfriend. I trust him. He would never take advantage of me like that..." I couldn't have been more wrong. Love in this day and age is often confused for manipulation and abuse. The warning signs are here. The things we say will tell us everything that is wrong. You are worth more than what you think you are. It's not your fault. If they tell you otherwise, get out. Burn the bridge. Always remember someone is waiting for you to walk into their life. Someone needs you. Someone loves you. Getting away from all of the wrong people and finding the right ones could save you. I can promise you right now that it saved me. These are the journal entries and selected poems from my first experience of love that left a unpleasant taste in my mouth- quite literally. I am putting this out for the whole world to see because I hope everyone will learn from my experience. People can see. We have no excuses to continue living our lives in ignorance. ...WARNING... HARMFUL THEMES INCLUDING MENTION OF SUICIDE, SELF HARM, AND RAPE. THIS HAS EXPLICIT CONTENT. RECOVERY AND AWARENESS IS THE PURPOSE OF SHARING. DO NOT READ IF THESE THEMES ARE OFFENSIVE OR HARMFUL TO YOU.

The Mad House Is Where I Belong by felicityderos

I like inflicting pain. Not on others but on myself. Some people would call me depressed but I'm not. If anything the pain makes me happy. I started "self harming" at the mere age of nine. Or at least, that's what she called it. My therapist, I mean. She ended up giving me a life time supply of antidepressants and some shitty advice. I'm now eighteen, rotting in jail, and awaiting my death sentence. This is my story and if I'm quite honest, you don't want to hear it. +++ awards: ➵ Winner, Short Story Category, "Summer Book Awards" @Capybara100 ➵ Overall Winner, "Summer Book Awards" @Capybara100 status: ➵ started - 19/08/17 ➵ finished- 07/11/18 note: ➵ Please don't copy me. I don't appreciate it and will block you and report you. No writer likes to be copied and neither do readers. Readers want something which is unique and original.

The Suicide Equation by William007w

For the last month I've had nothing but dark thoughts. I finally decided to speak to someone about it. I went to Mr.Harn and told him everything. All he did was hold me and bring me to the schools councilor. He told her the story I was able to utter. She called my mother and arranged for me to be put into therapy. I spoke with her for half an hour. "You've been through way to much for a girl your age!" She said in astonishment. "I know." I replied. "How are you alive?" She asked with both worry and curiosity. "I honestly don't know." I spoke the truth. How am I still alive?

You don't know me by You_Dont_Know_Me9374

⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ Not for the faint of heart, I explore dark parts of my mind and unfurl them for your own enjoyment. All of these stories are true. You don't know me, and you're never going to. This is basically just a shitty diary of my life with very few details as to who I am, Don't want to scare you off. Feel free to read but I don't really care. I'm just a screwed up guy that everyone knows and nobody cares about really. If you can't tell I'll probably swear quite a bit in this so if you don't like that I'm sorry, but this really isn't a good read anyway it's just me complaining about the fact I still exist. Actually no, whilst I did start this to complain about my life, the stories are fluctuating, as I discover I am infact worthy of love, even I don't believe it at all times. I hope you enjoy my rantings. ⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️

Honey's Biker (Devil's Angels MC #2) by photosofrose

*COMPLETED* Description : Honey is just shy of her 21st birthday when she moves to a tiny little town deep in New Mexico. She has no money, no family, no friends and no idea how she ended here, but she does have one thing, and that's a biker named Rage. Rage who is one of the ruthless members of the MC at 26 but unlike Honey, he has money, family, friends and now he'll have one more thing, and that's a cute little waiter named Honey. So when the two meet, and the day after Honey gets assaulted by a drunk in the bar the MC owns, will Rage take her in or will he let her be? Of course he does, buy little does he know the cute little waiter with the british accent will be harder to claim then anyone before. So, We hope you're enjoying you stay here at the Devil's Angels MC. How about you stick around a little longer? For Honey's sake. *Can be ready as a stand alone but is the second book in the Devil's Angels MC.* Excerpt : "Before I get far, my arm is grabbed and I'm yanked back into a hard chest and then shoved into the shed wall, "who the fuck do you think you are?" He growls lowly and slowly in my ear causing me to shiver. Then he looks over his shoulder, "everyone go inside." Everyone nods and drops what their doing and run inside. Then he looks back to me and growls again and runs his hand across my neck before pressing down slightly and leaning in closer to me,"I know you aren't ready for this, I understand that. I told you I'm going to wait for you and still even then you are mine. And I'll do everything in my power to protect you and that also means me claiming you," he pauses and gives my neck butterfly kisses making me let out a moan and nod, "the men here are mean, rough and ruthless and will do anything to get a girl they want. Once you are claimed, you're safer. No one will mess with you, especially because you're mine," he growls again, sucking on my neck. "Ookay," I say breathless."

Falling Apart by 1_Will_3

*TRIGGER WARNING: DEALS WITH DEPRESSION, SELF HARM AND SUICIDE* Amber is sixteen years old and to sugarcoat it... She hasn't had the best upbringing. She would love a different life, one where she can see her mother again and not be stuck with her abusive father. A life where she doesn't get taunted and hit and torn apart by everyone who she has ever seen. But she would never swap, she doesn't want anyone to endure the pain she's gone through. So instead, she tries to get rid of it... Again. But much to her disbelief, she is saved by the people she would least expect. She learns secrets about them that no one else knows. She feels included. Cared for. And dare I say it... She felt loved. For once in her life, she felt truly happy to be alive. But just when Amber felt safe, her life was flipped upside down and her past came back to haunt her just when she least expected it... (Sorry, I suck at descriptions, don't let it put you off) Ranking: #64 in Awareness #15 in Mental Health Awareness #73 in saddness

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐞 || 𝟏𝟖+ by ashluvfictionalmen

Two broken souls in the midst of a crazy world. Two souls running away from their past. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel was cracking, slowly closing in. When these two connect, as if they were set on the same path, light creeps in through the cracks, and for or a moment, the tunnel seems to have a way out, but what if it collapses before they make it? - "You saved my life." The words come out as a whisper, I've been dying to say that. I thank god every day that he came into my life when he did. "Fuck Vivian, you don't know how much I needed you." I tear up just a little as he speaks, I don't know the last time I cried happy tears. I bring my hands up to cup his cheeks, resting my forehead against his. "No matter how much I push, I don't mean it. Please don't give up on me." My words seem to relieve him in some way as I feel his shoulders relax. "Even when I'm gone, I'll be by your side, forever." He brings his hand, sticking his pinky out. "pinky promise."I wrap mine around his, placing a kiss on his lips. Warning before you read!! This is my first book! This book will contain topics of SA, eating disorders, and mature content, if any of these things may bother you in anyway, please scroll! I hope when I finish this book I can public a clean version, with a different perspective leaving out these topics, but for now, this is how i've envisioned this story to go! Enjoy -Ash🌸

Not me. (2023) by MineOnlyFriend2

so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here. This is for you. For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides. For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly. For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning. For everyone who never could find the words to say why. For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much. For everyone who had to pick themselves back up. For everyone who had to parent themselves. For everyone fighting an invisible battle. For everyone who has been underestimated. For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope. For everyone who found other means to silence their voices. For everyone who was silenced. For everyone who was over powered. For everyone who was made to be less. For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent. For everyone asking themselves, why? Why would you do this? What did I do? Why is this happening to me? It was never your fault.

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Slide 1 of 10

In Love With Blindfolds On cover

Someone New cover

Evolution cover

The Mad House Is Where I Belong cover

The Suicide Equation cover

You don't know me cover

Honey's Biker (Devil's Angels MC #2) cover

Falling Apart cover

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐞 || 𝟏𝟖+ cover

Not me. (2023) cover

In Love With Blindfolds On

I gave the best of myself to someone who didn't have anything to lose. I didn't know how to avoid my lover's toxic and abusive flames. My lover's twisted words were like a maze inside of my head that I couldn't escape. Sadly, my lover's actions hypnotized my thoughts and paralyzed my thinking. I learned the hard way that love isn't leaning in for a kiss, and a fist meets you halfway. Love isn't being a punching bag because someone decided they wanted to beat on you today. Love isn't saying I love you just because someone wants to keep you to themselves. I tried to be there for my lover, but I learned it is impossible to fix the broken pieces when the glass has shattered. There will always be pieces that are not repairable. However, I kept going right back to the person who I needed to walk away from. I was afraid, and I wasn't brave enough to wake up from this nightmare! I made the choice to suffer when life is meant to be lived and enjoyed. Will I find the courage to know my worth and know that I deserve better than the distasteful lies that are whispered in my ears? Will I have the strength to fight my insecurities? Will, I set myself free, or will I let my love be the death of me?