"My Thoughts Are Stars No One Can Fathom Into Constellations." - Beccy Boo - Wattpad

Story cover for "My Thoughts Are Stars No One Can Fathom Into Constellations." by JustThatGirlxo

"My Thoughts Are Stars No One Can Fathom Into Constellations."

Reads 35
Votes 2
Parts 3
Time 9m

Reads 35
Votes 2
Parts 3
Time 9m

dark depression secrets selfharm thoughts

To be blatant, this is no ordinary "love" story, or "teen" story, or "fanfiction". In fact, this isn't even a story. 

Here, shall be my contemporary release, until I find the longing to go back to my - although destructive - previous "release".
This isn't going to be happiness, and rainbows, and butterflies. Maybe a slight 2% of it. 
This place, in which you're intrigued to know more, is where my true essence really comes to life. Where you'll know all about me - my troubles, my doubts, my problems. You'll be transported to the depths of my mind. To some, it may seem like nonsensical ramble, but to few, it is so utterly and completely relatable, they'll find themselves hooked, unable to let go. 

I can't promise this will be updated regularly, but I can promise the contents of this are of the truest nature. 

With that been said, I bid you a goodbye, until next time - or not. 
~ JustThatGirlxoAll Rights Reserved

dark depression secrets selfharm thoughts

Table of contents

3 parts

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Anneliese by pitifulkisses

Anneliese is a sweet, kind, empathetic, and outgoing young woman who has struggled finding a place to be herself. Often looking for new ways to meet friends, she wouldn't pass the opportunity to chat someone up. Even a stranger at the diner she works at to pass time. Xavier, a dedicated man takes to the nativity of Anneliese. He's direct, but prefers to keep to himself. Even an isolated man by choice can't withstand Anneliese's pull. Gravitating towards her, he manages to bring her a sense of comfort in her new life. ~ ❀ ~ I can't help but stare at her. Her face, lips, and smile, and her nose. Even her long, curled lashes. "Let's do a butterfly kiss!" She exclaims, pulling my face close suddenly. Kiss? My heart hammers in my chest, my breath hitching. Her small hands hold my face close to hers. It's not very forceful, I could pull away if I wanted to, but I let her have control. Her hands are warm and soft against my jaw. Getting closer, her eyes lashes flutter and I find myself holding my breath. She brushes her lashes to mine, her breath fanning against my lips. Subconsciously, I lean forward, wanting my lips to be on hers. June flutter her lashes, grazing her lashes to mine. Out of nowhere she bursts out in a fit of laughter. I flinch back. Butterfly kiss. That was not a fucking kiss. ~ ❀ ~ *Warning* Mature themes will be covered (language, actions, etc).

Not me. (2023) by MineOnlyFriend2

so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here. This is for you. For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides. For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly. For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning. For everyone who never could find the words to say why. For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much. For everyone who had to pick themselves back up. For everyone who had to parent themselves. For everyone fighting an invisible battle. For everyone who has been underestimated. For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope. For everyone who found other means to silence their voices. For everyone who was silenced. For everyone who was over powered. For everyone who was made to be less. For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent. For everyone asking themselves, why? Why would you do this? What did I do? Why is this happening to me? It was never your fault.

The Suicide Equation by William007w

For the last month I've had nothing but dark thoughts. I finally decided to speak to someone about it. I went to Mr.Harn and told him everything. All he did was hold me and bring me to the schools councilor. He told her the story I was able to utter. She called my mother and arranged for me to be put into therapy. I spoke with her for half an hour. "You've been through way to much for a girl your age!" She said in astonishment. "I know." I replied. "How are you alive?" She asked with both worry and curiosity. "I honestly don't know." I spoke the truth. How am I still alive?

If Only You Knew by msxash

"Why can't you just tell me what's wrong" he whispered, getting quieter than before and cupped my face in his hands. With every passing day we grow closer and closer. I feel like I'm leading him on but how could I just tell him? It's not that simple to just share my secret. I can't. Not to him, not to anyone. ** Bianca, the quietest girl in the class yet probably the nicest. The most afraid yet the most brave. The girl that is continuously served with things, that she could never in a million years deserve. Cameron, in her eyes, he's the most amazing guy ever. Cute smile, a freckled face and dimples, he had everything that she'd want in a guy. Of course that's just because it was he who had those qualities in the first place. He's been her only crush for quite some time, but he hasn't ever shown the slightest interest in her until now. When she was being continuously punched on the ground, he'd just stood there with his so-called girlfriend; laughing, because he had a 'reputation to uphold'. It didn't matter though, because she loved it when he laughed. Now they are chosen to work on a project together, in the process he learns more about her and becomes somewhat attracted to her. Could the last person on this earth you'd ever expect to, ironically fall deeply in love with Bianca? What's going to happen if he finds out about her big secret? And his supposed girlfriend? Maybe, just maybe he can become the cure that she's always needed.

Noah (Obsessions in Overdrive #1) by MarcelinePierson

I've always had a feeling that I would die young. Ever since I started pondering on deaths door I've had this feeling. I could care less about the hell and heaven shenanigans, but death. I want it. The end of my life. I want to be in my suit, in my coffin, in the ground and my soul to be gone. I've been waiting for 16 years, yet no sign of death opening his door no matter how many times I ring his doorbell. Yeah, I enjoy thinking about my end. Especially at moments like this... *** #1 physical #1 cuteguys #1 addiction #2 self-esteem *** Started: 7 November 2022 Finished: 18 April 2024

Cold Water by adaline_meadows

[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression

The Mad House Is Where I Belong by felicityderos

I like inflicting pain. Not on others but on myself. Some people would call me depressed but I'm not. If anything the pain makes me happy. I started "self harming" at the mere age of nine. Or at least, that's what she called it. My therapist, I mean. She ended up giving me a life time supply of antidepressants and some shitty advice. I'm now eighteen, rotting in jail, and awaiting my death sentence. This is my story and if I'm quite honest, you don't want to hear it. +++ awards: ➵ Winner, Short Story Category, "Summer Book Awards" @Capybara100 ➵ Overall Winner, "Summer Book Awards" @Capybara100 status: ➵ started - 19/08/17 ➵ finished- 07/11/18 note: ➵ Please don't copy me. I don't appreciate it and will block you and report you. No writer likes to be copied and neither do readers. Readers want something which is unique and original.

Broken mind (Under heavy editing!) by wonderland_smile

I'm lost. Broken. And nobody knows. I help people, and when you help people, you don't get help. I couldn't look at myself think how a mess I was. It was too late for me to be fixed. Nobody could help me. I was too deep in it for being saved. I had too many scars and thought. I already had a broken mind. When I tried to kill myself and failed at it, they brought me to a mental facility. There I meet other teens with different stories and each with their problems. The longer I'm here, the more stories I get the knowledge. We come together to tell our stories so that we can move on from what hurt us in the past and what waits for us in the future. We're all strangers, but we're all living in this messed-up place call life. So can we overcome our broken minds. -2014-

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐞 || 𝟏𝟖+ by ashluvfictionalmen

Two broken souls in the midst of a crazy world. Two souls running away from their past. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel was cracking, slowly closing in. When these two connect, as if they were set on the same path, light creeps in through the cracks, and for or a moment, the tunnel seems to have a way out, but what if it collapses before they make it? - "You saved my life." The words come out as a whisper, I've been dying to say that. I thank god every day that he came into my life when he did. "Fuck Vivian, you don't know how much I needed you." I tear up just a little as he speaks, I don't know the last time I cried happy tears. I bring my hands up to cup his cheeks, resting my forehead against his. "No matter how much I push, I don't mean it. Please don't give up on me." My words seem to relieve him in some way as I feel his shoulders relax. "Even when I'm gone, I'll be by your side, forever." He brings his hand, sticking his pinky out. "pinky promise."I wrap mine around his, placing a kiss on his lips. Warning before you read!! This is my first book! This book will contain topics of SA, eating disorders, and mature content, if any of these things may bother you in anyway, please scroll! I hope when I finish this book I can public a clean version, with a different perspective leaving out these topics, but for now, this is how i've envisioned this story to go! Enjoy -Ash🌸

Jesse's Girl (COMPLETE) by xHeatLifex

They had both been dealt enough tragedy in their short teenaged lives, more than anyone should ever have to endure. Will two self destructive teens coming together do more harm than good? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I don't know what came over me. The poor guy just asked if he could help and I went all 'crazy psycho bitch' on his ass. I couldn't breath. I needed water. I needed air. Fuck why was is it so hot in here. Was it the fact that the moment his hand left my skin I felt an unbearable need to feel his touch again or was it hearing him ask if I needed help that made me feel helpless and broken once again. I didn't know what it was but I felt like I was suffocating, like the jersey I was wearing was strangling every ounce of oxygen from body. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * This story had been reviewed recently. There are now added scenes and further edits - 2024 *

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Slide 1 of 10

Anneliese cover

Not me. (2023) cover

The Suicide Equation cover

If Only You Knew cover

Noah (Obsessions in Overdrive #1) cover

Cold Water cover

The Mad House Is Where I Belong cover

Broken mind (Under heavy editing!) cover

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐞 || 𝟏𝟖+ cover

Jesse's Girl (COMPLETE) cover

Anneliese

Anneliese is a sweet, kind, empathetic, and outgoing young woman who has struggled finding a place to be herself. Often looking for new ways to meet friends, she wouldn't pass the opportunity to chat someone up. Even a stranger at the diner she works at to pass time. Xavier, a dedicated man takes to the nativity of Anneliese. He's direct, but prefers to keep to himself. Even an isolated man by choice can't withstand Anneliese's pull. Gravitating towards her, he manages to bring her a sense of comfort in her new life. ~ ❀ ~ I can't help but stare at her. Her face, lips, and smile, and her nose. Even her long, curled lashes. "Let's do a butterfly kiss!" She exclaims, pulling my face close suddenly. Kiss? My heart hammers in my chest, my breath hitching. Her small hands hold my face close to hers. It's not very forceful, I could pull away if I wanted to, but I let her have control. Her hands are warm and soft against my jaw. Getting closer, her eyes lashes flutter and I find myself holding my breath. She brushes her lashes to mine, her breath fanning against my lips. Subconsciously, I lean forward, wanting my lips to be on hers. June flutter her lashes, grazing her lashes to mine. Out of nowhere she bursts out in a fit of laughter. I flinch back. Butterfly kiss. That was not a fucking kiss. ~ ❀ ~ Warning Mature themes will be covered (language, actions, etc).