Breathe
  • Reads 122,356
  • Votes 4,026
  • Parts 21
  • Time 3h 1m
  • Reads 122,356
  • Votes 4,026
  • Parts 21
  • Time 3h 1m
Complete, First published Aug 17, 2020
alone is what i have. alone protects me.

All of his life, Clay lived with one mindset: "alone is what I have. alone protects me." It had guided him through his hardest times and into the next ones. So when he moves into a house with his two best friends in the entire world, his mindset is challenged, and he soon realizes that being alone may be more detrimental than he thought.

cover by @ laikoski_ on instagram

tw !!
suicide contemplation/attempt
self-harm
panic attacks
depression
anxiety
vomiting
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𝙵𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗-𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛-𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝙵𝚕𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛'𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑. 𝙷𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜-𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚋𝚞𝚜𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚊𝚜 𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚛𝚜, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊 𝚍𝚘𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚛-𝚛𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚟𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚝, 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛. 𝙰𝚜 𝙵𝚕𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎'𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚜, 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚒𝚏 𝚜𝚑𝚎'𝚕𝚕 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚊 𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚜𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚕𝚢 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐. ⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆⋆。゚☁︎。⋆ ╰┈➤ "You're just mad because you have to deal with me," I whispered, the words slipping out before I could stop them. "You have to be responsible for me. I'm just a burden." Cole's voice was quiet but firm coming from next to me. "Flo, that's not true. You're not a burden. We're just... worried about you. This isn't who you are." I could feel his eyes on me, searching for a connection, something to make me see reason, but all I felt was anger bubbling up inside me. "Yeah, well... I'm sorry for that," I said, my voice wavering. "Maybe you'd all be better off without me."