ASHIRAH GRAY
- Reads 161
- Votes 118
- Parts 6
I just want to tell you how much I love you, I hope it's not too late..
Ashirah Gray
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#141
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What we have is just now. As long as she loves me. As long as she wants to be with me. As long as there is 'we'. I love her! But the rainbow is not just a blend of vibrant and bright colors. It doesn't even stay for a long period of time-- just enough for us to see and in a fleet of time is gone, leaving us wondering if it's real. A rainbow doesn't have black and white. It wasn't just like that. Same as love. Same as us. There were times that i want to give her up. Not because my love did fade, rather, my love is too much. Too much that letting her go is the only option left for her to choose me without hesitation, without guilt, freed of lies. I want her to grow, to weigh things as it is. I want her to make me feel that being with me is her choice. I want her to realize that i am hers and that she have to surrender herself to me as well. I want her to love me because that is the way she feels and not because it was the safest way. Being with her is paradise. It was a mixture of colored pastel. It was too vibrant to explain. But at a sudden twist of downs and ups, we are shaking. Loving her has become my weakness. The weakening thought of losing her when I fuck up is too much to run me insane. I'm overreacting perhaps. But being with her, means walking in a narrow-road of heaven. There's no security, no assurance. One wrong move, and I'll be slipping away. Just in the never ending pain of darkness, of solitude, of self-struggle. Loving her has become my addiction. I couldn't get enough of it. But so they say, what's too much can cause harm. Maybe I'm loving her too much that she finds it hard to breathe when i'm around. But yes, it is just a wishful thinking; things that I'll surely not going to say to her because i will never ever earn the courage to say so. We are just nothing but a 'fateful coincidence.'
Words I never Tell
At some point in my life, I choose to let go of her. And not because I stopped loving her, but because I had reached the point that I was drained and can no longer continue fighting for her when all she gives me in return is pain. It's not about asking to get my feelings reciprocated, I just realized that I deserve the same amount of love that I am giving. And it hurts to know that when I decided to let go, she didn't hold my hand to keep holding on. She never tried to fight for her place in my heart. -Hariette I'm not afraid of love. I am afraid to feel the pain. That's why I keep pushing you away. It's tiring. But I'm afraid that I will never heal and be whole again. Because nothing makes me happier and nothing makes me sadder than you." -Candice Love turned to loved. Saying first hello's to saying goodbyes. I love you to I miss you. Promises turned into sorry. Love isn't fair you know? What we have is more than that. Ours may not be normal. But isn't this what everyone wants? Stable and secure relationship. I love you and you love me. We trust each other like no one else can. There will be no pain in our kind of love. -AllistonComplete
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Saying goodbye is hard so she just said it in a way that they never expected.Complete
They say people come and go and you have no choice but let go. Letting go may sound easy though i cannot just follow Staring at your hands that i can't stop holding. They seem so frail and had given up. looking back, you look beautiful even now that your eyes closes. My love mixes with regret of the past that I want to re-write. Blurry image of yours is all I remember, your eyes, your smile, your love.
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