Finding Myself

I don't remember much about my childhood only that I was a real B**** and I have a feeling that I'm traumatized so that's why I can't remember. Now I'm just a weirdo...well thats what everyone around me says anyway. But. I dont want to be weird I just wanna be normal and fit in...but what is normal??. I just want to find myself but how can I do that if I don't know who was as child...