Waves

Note: This book will be on hold until further notice, whenever I get a break from all my college work :/

I've been struggling for a while now, but I never thought it would get this bad. I never thought it would get to the point that I didn't want to exist at all.
I lay in bed for hours on end, staring at the wall and wondering where it all went wrong.
I can't find joy in anything anymore. I can't eat or shower or pull myself out of bed every morning. The days blur together and the floor spins when I stand up. My head aches constantly.
I'm slowly pushing people away and blaming it all on them, even though I know it's not their fault. I'm trying so hard to act like I'm okay, even though I'm far from it.
It's getting bad again, and this time I don't know how to stop it.

"So I will try, try, try to breathe / Till it turns to muscle memory / I'm only steady on my knees / But one day, I'll stand on my own two feet" - Son, Sleeping At Last

A book of poems I've written depicting the healing process.

"Healing comes and goes in waves, and today, it all seems to be crashing down."

TW/CW: discusses anxiety and depression.