Thoughts
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- Parts 48
Ongoing38m
Last published Fri, Mar 29, 2024
Short stories based around points in my life and my general thinking.
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#8
bodyissues
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Tethered By Lust
It's not worth it anymore. The fighting, the hurt, the beatings. It was never going to be worth it. But for love...well love makes you stupid. And I loved him with all my heart. I met the real man who would save me. Like how Bell was saved from Gaston. Except she lived the high life and didn't fear for her existence after her first encounter. After my first encounter with Axel, and a dreamy one-night stand. The only option for me was to stay away from him and keep to Marcus. But Marcus is destroying me. *** "Don't you dare tell me how easy it is to leave and abusive relationship when you've never been in one, Axel!" Tears poured down my cheeks and all I wanted to do in that moment was crawl into the same hole I should never have crawled out from and die. "And I was heartbroken, and scared and anxious. I was worried and I felt weak, and I had no idea how I was ever going to come up with the strength. But I just closed my eyes and took a blind leap. I found you, Cordilia and I'll be dammed if I let that asshole take you away from me."Complete
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Cold Water
[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ DepressionComplete
Her Breaking Point
He had rules for a reason, or thats what he said. I did something wrong I got punished. I spoke out of turn, I got punished. I looked at him or ate without permission, I got punished. Haven thats what they named me funny isn't it? Ironic really. They named me Haven because my mom would say I was her 'Safe Haven'. What a pile of shit that was. She left willingly, she didn't depart because of some tragic accident. My father didn't kill her. She left because she was a coward who didn't want kids. As soon as my older brother went to college she left. I knew she hated me. I was the product of her love with another man. A constant reminder that her life didn't work out the way it was planned. He who ever he was is a phantom in its own. A deep rooted fantasy never going to come true. My brother left, my mother left, my grandma ignored, and my father broke. They let me give up hope on escaping and then decided to play hero. But I haven't forgotten everything I went through. Guilt consumes my brother but I don't care, you don't get to leave and then buy a reprieve of trying to save someone who has been dead for years. Besides lets just be honest I reached my breaking point long ago.Complete
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You Were My Because
For every question WHY You were my BECAUSE Anxiety. Depression. Panic Attacks. A small touch of Haphephobia. After years of abuse and sadness, Charlotte finally puts her past behind her and starts over. She finds a new job, a new group of friends, and Axel; life can't get any better. She can finally breathe. She starts to experience happiness and love, but her past keeps coming back to haunt her, showing up at the worst moments and taking her happiness away. She's thrown back into it face first; the drugs, the gangs, the ex that she promised wouldn't lay a hand on her again... Her new life mixes with her old and her secrets are revealed, promises are broken, and everything becomes too much. ------- "I can't just shut it off." I speak softly, wanting Axel to understand that this is who I am. This is the real Charlotte. "I know. You just...you don't have to be alone anymore, Char." My eyes focus on our entwined fingers as my heart beats wildly in my chest, his words repeating in my head. I stare, feeling the weight of his words sink in slowly. Being alone is all I've ever known. "Let me prove it to you." His words sound like a promise, and I gulp, my eyes finally finding his. I find myself wanting to believe him. Wanting to trust him. So I do. "Okay." ------- #2 in Anxious - 1.2025 #1 in Sober - 2.2026
The Midnight Rantings Of Someone Lost
Some of these will be short stories, others letters to both real and fictional people, and really whatever else I see fit to add Also, I put this under poetry bc it was that or random And i'll be changing the cover in the near future
𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙙𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚
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Depression, anxiety, EDs, and other mental health issues.
This story is about depression disorders, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, personality disorders, other mental illnesses, self harm, suicide, bullying, and the stigma of mental illness. This book was written to help others and educate people. It is also written to let people know where/how they can get help. I put some of the links to the sites I used. I am NOT glorifying or romantizing any of this. This book is NOT used for diagnosis of any kind as I am not a mental health professional. So PLEASE DONT SELF DIAGNOSE YOURSELF WITH A MENTAL ILLNESS. This book contains sensitive content, so read at your own risk. #breakthestigmaofmentalillnessComplete
It's not worth it anymore. The fighting, the hurt, the beatings. It was never going to be worth it. But for love...well love makes you stupid. And I loved him with all my heart. I met the real man who would save me. Like how Bell was saved from Gaston. Except she lived the high life and didn't fear for her existence after her first encounter. After my first encounter with Axel, and a dreamy one-night stand. The only option for me was to stay away from him and keep to Marcus. But Marcus is destroying me. *** "Don't you dare tell me how easy it is to leave and abusive relationship when you've never been in one, Axel!" Tears poured down my cheeks and all I wanted to do in that moment was crawl into the same hole I should never have crawled out from and die. "And I was heartbroken, and scared and anxious. I was worried and I felt weak, and I had no idea how I was ever going to come up with the strength. But I just closed my eyes and took a blind leap. I found you, Cordilia and I'll be dammed if I let that asshole take you away from me."
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