DEMONS
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Release
This is a collection of my writing from the past 7 years. Before I started to write, I was a very lost individual, as are most teens, but I was lost in darkness. I was too afraid to move anywhere at all. I hid in the dark, debilitated by my own anxiety, sadnesses, anger, and hopelessness. I was desperate to be loved and feared it the most, I was a coward, I was self-destructive, I would mentally bend my thoughts to the point of bordering insanity. I was born into this world alone, and got too comfortable with it. Maybe I still am, but a fraction of what I used to be. This writing is extremely vulnerable, and potentially disturbing to others, as all my weaknesses, strengths, obsessions with making every moment sentimental, the sickening desperation I've had, the destructiveness, and the constant brutal reconstruction of my mind. Without guidance, it's been absolute intense chaos. Though, there is beauty in the darkness. Everything can be found in the darkness. You'll find that through my writing, I've somehow slowly become exactly what I've written. A living representation of my writing and what I wanted to be. Without myself even knowing it. A lot of my writing themes are based around nature, or some kind of natural aspect. The imagery I paint with natural metaphors is constant, the animals, just like you and I, the plants, and all other living things. I planted these seeds in my mind, unknowingly at the time, where I now feel the deep dark green jungle pressing at the inner walls of my skull. It's all that I want to consume my mind. There's so much to learn. The magic of nature, and it's infinite wisdom. It's as if I have been on this path all along, and I didn't even know what I was doing, yet my body and mind were passively taking care of me. Giving me and eventually showing exactly what I want, and wanted to become. I have every moment, every instance of suffering, and every epiphany to be thankful for. Soon, I'll be at peace from the raging storm.Complete
A Lovely Life
Journey with me back in time as I rewrite the first Journal I kept from when I was in high school, and see that maybe even with how horrible life is most of the times, there are little things spread throughout that make life worth living. My high school experience was full of drama, tears, laughter, and most of all constant search of love, and approval of the people around me. I can't always get what I want in this world. Life is a beautiful mess. It's not perfect, and filled with a lot of disappointments, and heartbreak. There are moments when it all feels too much, but there's not much we can do other than go with the flow of things.Complete
Butterflies
A young teenager caught between her past and present unable to move on. Read more on butterflies. DISCLAIMER: There're some pretty graphic, detailed painful things in the book. Including mentions of suicide, Rape and Sexual Assaults.
Too Many Maybe's
I used to think there'd be no living without you. Then, you walked away. Like it was the easiest thing in the world. We finally stopped making sense to you. So, you left. Why wouldn't you. It didn't matter that it still made sense to me. That I still held on to all those what ifs and unanswered questions of us. Still hoped for things to work out somehow. Still needed things to work out. Needed it like food and water. This story might not make much sense to you, reader. It was written for him. And in many ways for myself. But I am grateful for your desire to explore our life's tale non the less. It was quite something. I hope you'll get something out of it.Complete
A Beautiful Confusion
Life is the most confusing thing in the world especially if you are a teenager. There are constant changes in the emotions of yourself, the emotions of others and our general way of thinking changes because of certain factors in our lives. That's mainly because we don't really know what we want at times and because of that our day to day emotions are... complicated. I for one struggle with such problems, always felt stuck in a cycle, I felt like my life was destined to be the same but eventually in the midst of my confusion I found Beauty.Complete
Walking Into Black
Don't fear death. It does nothing for you. Death is at every turn; the challenge is if you choose to accept it or not. Don't fear pain. Pain is how you learn. Pain is the side-effect of life. If you live life fearing getting hurt...can you truly live life fully? I've felt pain. I've accepted death. I've lived, I've learned, I've drowned a few times. If all I have to show for it is small bundles of letters and words...so be it. That's more than I could have ever hoped for. Everything that means anything to me are just words. You can put anything into words. Anything and everything. You can put death into words. You can put pain into words. You can put fear into words. And I have. And you can read them, if you want. You can learn from them; learn to stop fearing, learn to stop living in the future, behind your mask. But only if you care enough to listen. I speak loud and clear, yet nobody can hear me. I am not hidden, yet nobody can find me. If they even try.Complete
Lost Stars
in which two nihilistic teens find the meaning of life when their hands entwine. current cover :: @parthenons [summary inside]Complete
Stale Words
𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚎 𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜 is an ongoing book and collection of poems and sonnets made by me, inspired by my thoughts, dreams, and personal experiences. As someone who lives with depression and anxiety, a lot of my thoughts are bound to not be very pleasant. But hey, some of them are quite philosophical and positive. But that's rare. Join me on my journey through sadness, happiness, curiosity, mystery, and so much more. I was inspired to make a collection of my poems, and I decided to just do it. My poem, "Falling For You Against My Will" features lyrical references from the following: Head Over Heals - Starset ALWAYS BEEN YOU - Chris Grey
This is a collection of my writing from the past 7 years. Before I started to write, I was a very lost individual, as are most teens, but I was lost in darkness. I was too afraid to move anywhere at all. I hid in the dark, debilitated by my own anxiety, sadnesses, anger, and hopelessness. I was desperate to be loved and feared it the most, I was a coward, I was self-destructive, I would mentally bend my thoughts to the point of bordering insanity. I was born into this world alone, and got too comfortable with it. Maybe I still am, but a fraction of what I used to be. This writing is extremely vulnerable, and potentially disturbing to others, as all my weaknesses, strengths, obsessions with making every moment sentimental, the sickening desperation I've had, the destructiveness, and the constant brutal reconstruction of my mind. Without guidance, it's been absolute intense chaos. Though, there is beauty in the darkness. Everything can be found in the darkness. You'll find that through my writing, I've somehow slowly become exactly what I've written. A living representation of my writing and what I wanted to be. Without myself even knowing it. A lot of my writing themes are based around nature, or some kind of natural aspect. The imagery I paint with natural metaphors is constant, the animals, just like you and I, the plants, and all other living things. I planted these seeds in my mind, unknowingly at the time, where I now feel the deep dark green jungle pressing at the inner walls of my skull. It's all that I want to consume my mind. There's so much to learn. The magic of nature, and it's infinite wisdom. It's as if I have been on this path all along, and I didn't even know what I was doing, yet my body and mind were passively taking care of me. Giving me and eventually showing exactly what I want, and wanted to become. I have every moment, every instance of suffering, and every epiphany to be thankful for. Soon, I'll be at peace from the raging storm.
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