The Cycle

step i is the heartbreak
the terrifying tragedy of falling apart slowly, desperately seeking that familiar feeling of happiness
step ii is renewal
slowly falling in love and exposing yourself to her, in that way you never thought you could
step iii is happiness
feeling the height of love that can bring you to levels of happiness you thought you could never reach ever again, but you finally found
step iv is the problem
whatever it may be with me: drinking, sex, smoking, or family. it tears me apart and the other person
step v is forgiveness
crawling slowly back, whether my arms are covered in blood or my stomach filled with pills. I cry, sobbing violently as I beg for forgiveness, even if she wasn't the issue. And, I relax.
step vi is revival
holding her in my arms, clinging to our love that we have. and she holds me back, our skin touching in that way that makes my body relax. and finally, my lips slowly curl and I quickly connect my lips with hers, longingly
and the cycle repeats