The Book That Shall Not Be Named For The Sake Of Humanity - Ayodya Hettz - Wattpad

The Book That Shall Not Be Named For The Sake Of Humanity

Reads 2,378
Votes 737
Parts 5
Time 1h 11m

Reads 2,378
Votes 737
Parts 5
Time 1h 11m

Mature

action adventure antihero antiromance arrogant badass comedy crime dark darkhumor funny hilarious homicide humor mystery parody psychopath revenge sarcasm sassy satire satirical suspense thriller villain

Things are nothing but the absolute best when you move in with your boyfriend and end up accidentally stabbing yourself the very next day (among other minor, insignificant occurrences).

Take it from Isla Ortega herself. She is having the perfect day, and it simply  cannot get any better.

WARNING: Dark humour. Avoid like the plague if you are not immune to it.  Contributions of grammar and plot hole nazis much appreciated.

"Hilariously villainous"  -- Aritza Schmidt

Highest Rankings:
#2 in Satire
#56 in parody 
#117 in hilarious 
#2 in antiromance 
#186 in sarcasm 
#68 in psychopath 
#86 in sassy
#2 in satirical
#75 in dark humor
#33 in antihero
#35 in homicide
#254 in arrogant
#610 in villain
#931 in badass
#145 in neighborAll Rights Reserved

action adventure antihero antiromance arrogant badass comedy crime dark darkhumor funny hilarious homicide humor mystery parody psychopath revenge sarcasm sassy satire satirical suspense thriller villain

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5 parts

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Damian (Rewriting) by Rickyy178

He approached me and leaned down so that we were eye to eye. "Don't fuck with me, I asked you nicely the first time to leave. Would hate to tell you a second time because I won't be so nice." His lips were so close to mine, I just wanted to kiss him. He pulled away from me and said, "Leave Nadia, you'll regret it if you don't." "What if I don't want to?" I asked boldly. He stared at me with amusement. "I will think you're a crazy bitch." He laughs. His laugh is contagious. "Maybe I am." I took a step towards him. He didn't move an inch the closer I got to him. My body was pressed against his, but he didn't react the way I wished he did. "You're so hardheaded, aren't you?" He questions while caressing my face with his hands. "That's a dangerous trait for a pretty girl like yourself." His tone was serious.

Perfect Storm by JeniRaeD

Enemies to lovers- Boss/employee- Bickering and Bantering- Billionaire romance Second chance romance HEA romance novel If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all. When I saw a job opportunity to work at a resort a few hours north of the cities, including a place to stay, rent-free, I jumped on it. But, unfortunately, what I didn't know was that the one who owned the resort was a man I owed a huge chunk of money to. All because of an accident I still believe he caused. Ian Lockwood isn't like any other guy I've ever met. The man's devastatingly handsome, gorgeous to be exact, and his green eyes are so damn intoxicating and intense that they wretchedly became windows to my soul. But he had one ugly attitude that turned me off. Calling Ian a jerk is an understatement. He's a straight-up asshole. Every time we're around each other, he does and says whatever he can to get my blood to boil. And he enjoys every minute of it. The problem I have with him is that he's an enemy. Yet whenever I'm near him, the irresistible fragrance that pours off him enhances my desires, and the area between my thighs intensively pulsates. And if my attraction to the asshole increases, I'm afraid he'll catch on to those feelings and take advantage of it by using me to pay off my debt. Even though Ian gets under my skin, I find myself falling for him the more bickering and bantering we do every time we're around each other. And if I can't get these uncontrollable desires of being with Ian under control, I'm afraid Ian and I will find ourselves underneath the sheets. That is if I don't see myself knocking him out of his misery before then.

My Wattpad Story by EthanEzekiel

"Hello, my name is Barbara Robinson and I am a sixteen year old girl. And I really hate to admit this, but I am fat. Anyway, I live in this big town called Wattpadville. I study in a school called Wattpad High School. I'm just a normal heavy teenage girl, you know. But my friends aren't normal. My life isn't normal. Nothing is normal in Wattpadville." No truer words have been spoken than this. Join Barbara in her roller coaster journey as she meets the love of her life along with a few murders and magic on the way. But be warned - you've read it all before! This is a satirical parody that pokes fun at all the cliché, annoying stories in Wattpad that makes you roll your eyes and pull your hair. Note : Parental advisory. Explicit content. Enjoy reading!

Dearly Beloathed | original by TwelveTurquoise12

Your supervillain nemesis feels bad about almost killing you so he writes a frantic apology on Twitter. It spirals. *** I'M SORRY! @Tachythanatous · 9/12/822 BALEFIRE I'M REALLY SORRY IT WAS MY BAD!! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO IT! I tried to take back the shadow shard but i wasn't fast enough :( MY BELOATHED NEMESIS!! PLEASE COME BACK! I'LL DO ANYTHING TO BRING HER BACK!! I'LL REVIVE HER! I'LL PAY THE BILLS! also not gonna lie, talking about getting no bitches at the time of a national tragedy is a bit disrespectful 809 Replies 1.1K Quotes 24 Likes | flora 🔥 @balefires_thighs · 9/12/822 you killed her you have no right to talk about disrespect!! DIE NOW 34 Replies 20 Quotes 6.7K Likes | I'M SORRY! @Tachythanatous · 9/12/822 i'm literally an 18yo minor but ok 🥺 531 Replies 2K Quotes 56 Likes *** "I'm not fond of her! I'm only curious about her." "Curiosity and affection are the same thing coming from you."

°Sweet Dreams° (1)✔️ by Fay_Belle5

ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍ ~ ɴᴏᴜɴ. An unrealistic or self-deluding fantasy. Example: Humans being satisfied on happiness alone. *** "After what you pulled tonight, I'm going to make sure whenever you try to take my life that you will...pay for your sins," his breath fanned my lips and my cheeks felt warm thanks to nerves. *** Twenty-one-year-old Amari Taylor is a dreamer. A big one. She wants to be an actress and to be able to become something that her mother would be proud of. Someday. Vincent Carter Passeretti would risk everything if it meant dreaming again. He envied that others could close their eyes after a long day and be whisked off into a world of pure bliss and peace. But all Vincent could do was keep his eyes open to watch every single second of hell happening in his world. Vincent's family took people whom Amari loved from her and she would do anything to defend their honor. Even if it meant to kill the son of the most popular family of drug lords in the world. {}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}}{}}}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{{{ 🥇 in Romance for The Mono Awards 🥇 in Romance for The Paradise Awards 🥈 in Chicklit for The Elites Awards 🥈 in Mystery for The Bridge To Fantasy Awards 🥉 in Humor for The Creory Awards •Reviews• "I know when a book is good because reading it makes me smile...Also strong, female leads are my jam, so it's no surprise I was drawn to the character and the story off the bat-WE STAN A CONFIDENT FEMME FATALE!" - @lauthereader21 "I'm literally on my toes reading this book. I LOVE the plot and the characters! A good amount of humor which made it an even better read!" - @ogt_88 "The plot is magnificent, and you can very easily feel the characters emotions depth into the story." -@718amazinggrace Since this book is protected by a company 🚫PLAGIARISM IS NOT ALLOWED🚫 there will be a fine.

Employed Epoch Of Alex Brook | Book 1| Humor-Romance (Completed) by vineethereader

"So, let me get this straight. You stomped all over his paperwork?" She started. "Not intentionally, but yes," I confirmed it. "Threw a drink in his face?" She added. "Expensive red wine." I described. "Rammed into his car with yours deliberately?" she counted on her third finger. "Um...I'm not proud of that one," I said cringing. "And called him offensive names?" She ended the list and I winced. "Twice." I specified. "And you're still alive?" She blinked, looking genuinely surprised. "Geez, don't be dramatic or anything..." I frowned at her hyperbolic statement. "Maybe he's keeping you around to get revenge." She suggested. Possible. I wouldn't put it past him. "I didn't know alright!" I exclaimed. "Let's hope that excuse is acceptable.." She was merely amused. "Working with my new boss is going to be a piece of work." ** Synopsis: When the CEO of Signature Heights: Jensen Black, and a stubborn employee: Alexandra Brook, clash, it's a battle of wits & a war of perseverance. They are both dead set on making each other's lives hell, but when the story progresses they just might learn that first impressions could be deceiving. As circumstances reveal their true selves and opinions change, things could get complicated especially when suddenly feelings get involved. Who would be the first to concede? Maybe it's not that simple to forgive your archnemesis and maybe it'll result in some hilarious consequences... ** Book 1 of a two-part series (completed).High Rankings: # Funny, # Humor, # Comedy, # Romance, #Billionaire Amazing book, I adore your writing style, and I really enjoyed these characters and story -Reader Fantastic story, believably flawed characters and deft humour makes for a very engaging read, I could barely put it down to feed my children -Reader **

Burning Up (n.h. + h.s.)(Sequel to Shiver)(Book Two) by ConWeCallLove

-| just because you win the battle, doesn't mean you've won the war|- "You know... I was serious when I said I was going to marry you." "I know." "Then why don't we go get married right now? We can fly to Vegas... Drive thru wedding. I've heard those have a high success rate." BOOK TWO. Warnings: There is mentions of self harming, slight mentions of suicide, crude humor, and may or may not contain sexual content. There is a fine line between maturity and just being plain rude, all I ask for is maturity. Thank you xx Ranked #368 in Humor and #459 in Fan-Fiction

joke collection :) 2 by beaninessOnToast

a bunch of jokes about me and my (new) friends crazypikachu: kray kray. loves books and writing. short. funny. zodiac sign: sagittarius kernels/kerns: bad at sports. also likes reading. sort of bossy. nice. zodiac sign: sagittarius noonoo: likes watching anime. likes to talk. nice. gets chased by crazypikachu every single morning. zodiac sign: taurus mugas: very deadpan and sarcastic. bold and pretty much the ideal scorpio. zodiac sign: i just told you. adri: k-pop lover. loves blackpink, bts, and tom holland (i'm not joking she simps tom holland). even shorter than crazypikachu. zodiac sign: gemini simplii (me): probably the calmest of them all. new arrival into the group. listens to dark music and reads a lot. attempts at art are mediocre. best friends with crazypikachu. zodiac sign: pisces

Sh*t! I'm Sorry! by camerybear

Highest Rank: #1 in Romance, #2 in Humor What happens when you're walking down the street, with one of the best coffees in hand, turn around for one second... Then the next thing you know, the world is spinning and you've landed in the arms of one of the most gorgeous organisms of the male species. With the best coffee, you've ever had, spilt on his grey v-neck? Or maybe when you're drunk off your head, can't walk in a straight line with a heel that is broken and your makeup smudged with a bottle of beer in your hand... Then the next thing you know the world is spinning and that same gorgeous organism has you in his arms with the strong smell of your beer on his leather jacket? When it comes to Ryan Einstein, Alexis Harrington needs a little help. Especially when her only instinct is to say..."Shit! I'm sorry!" © All Rights Reserved 2018 Camerybear

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Slide 1 of 9

Damian (Rewriting) cover

Perfect Storm cover

My Wattpad Story cover

Dearly Beloathed | original cover

°Sweet Dreams° (1)✔️ cover

Employed Epoch Of Alex Brook | Book 1| Humor-Romance (Completed) cover

Burning Up (n.h. + h.s.)(Sequel to Shiver)(Book Two) cover

joke collection :) 2 cover

Sh*t! I'm Sorry! cover

Damian (Rewriting)

He approached me and leaned down so that we were eye to eye. "Don't fuck with me, I asked you nicely the first time to leave. Would hate to tell you a second time because I won't be so nice." His lips were so close to mine, I just wanted to kiss him. He pulled away from me and said, "Leave Nadia, you'll regret it if you don't." "What if I don't want to?" I asked boldly. He stared at me with amusement. "I will think you're a crazy bitch." He laughs. His laugh is contagious. "Maybe I am." I took a step towards him. He didn't move an inch the closer I got to him. My body was pressed against his, but he didn't react the way I wished he did. "You're so hardheaded, aren't you?" He questions while caressing my face with his hands. "That's a dangerous trait for a pretty girl like yourself." His tone was serious.