Not forgotten
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- Parts 8
Ongoing20m
Last published Tue, Aug 25, 2020
Prologue:
I was so ready to go before; to leave the earth. Soon after I was diagnosed I thought, "Well so be it". But things had changed, people had changed, I changed. And for what? Me to lay on a cold table to sit there while they look past me as a dead thing and not a person, who had a real life, a lost future.
I cant even sit here in this bathroom struggling to breath and think about all the things I could have done, should have done. How my father will react when they see my breathless body lying on the tile floor. What people at school would think. How I won't even be able to mutter one last word to anyone. Or how much pain this might cause them..
My eyes had been welding with tears as I choke violently, struggling to restore breath in my body. I squeezed my eyes shut, attempting to block out the pain. When a fat teardrop had finally fell from my eyes I drifted into the darkness. Then here I am, reliving the last year of my life.
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It started on a Monday. I don't know what happened after that. I started off normal. I was still normal, wasn't I? I don't know, I just don't know. I was happy, I should be happy, but I'm not. Maybe I am? It's like there's a blackness in my mind, and I've covered it with yellow. I hate the colour yellow, but it's what I am. It's all I am now. My friends were laughing, I was laughing, but it didn't feel like it. My face felt tight as I stretched into a smile, yet it fooled them. I shouted with them, tears coming to my eyes. They laughed harder at that, everyone crying out my name, pointing at me, tears coming to their own eyes. The hole in my heart widened. I didn't know whether they were tears of sadness or happiness. Everyone was rocking back and forth, and slowly, they seemed to form into looming monsters, with wide eyes and pale faces. We stood up, hearing the bell. The sun hurt my eyes. I ran after them, shouting with them. I was loud, too loud. My own voice hurt my head. I didn't want the attention on me, so I dragged it to my fake self; my mask. I hated myself, and what I was doing. I had walked off again. I'm not sure why, but as I blinked, my feet decided that we were not going that way. I ignored them, and they thought it was a joke. They screamed my name, startling me, making me sprint over to them. I hadn't realised how far I had really wondered off. I joined my group, only to wish I had kept walking. They were laughing again, their laughter hurting my head. It shattered my thoughts, echoed around my head, deafened any emotions. I shrieked with them. We were like monkeys, chattering together. Maybe not; we were too dangerous for that. Monsters. Pale, looming monsters. (Updates everyday day!!!) (Oh, and the picture on the title page doesn't belong to me!!! Credit to whoever it belongs to!!!)
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