You Promised Me

You Promised Me

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WpMetadataReadOngoing<5 mins
WpMetadataNoticeLast published Sun, Oct 14, 2012
She Promised Me that she wouldn't do it, She promised she would never leave me. She Promised she wasn't going to do it because she knew i needed her, but she did it, after promising she wouldn't. she was my best friend, practically my sister. she didn't even leave me a letter behind, or an explanation. instead she left me behind with depression, anxiety,and isolation. The fact that I was just so attached to her made her death so hard. she was just such a big piece of my life. What I will never understand, is why she did it, why she felt she needed to die, why she killed herself.
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I never thought I'd actually do this.... I've thought about it but never actually gone through with it.... The voice in my head has been screaming at me for years... But I never actually tried to do... This... It's hard to be around people when you have someone telling you to tear their throats out with your teeth... But it's worse when you're alone. She tells me to do terrible things to myself... Tells me I'm worthless... Unloved....Expendable... Of course I believe her. She's in my head for Christ's sakes how can I not believe her. It's so hard...I gave in...I had no choice...the temptation is so strong. I can't hug people without wondering what it would feel like to thrust a knife into their back and feel their bodies jerk in surprise as they slowly began to realize...that they're dying.....they're being murdered...and not by a complete stanger...but by a person that they love....that they thought they could trust....oh god I want to...give in..... I can't believe my life is like this. Why me? How could I do such a horrible thing? Why....

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