When I Called You Mine

When I Called You Mine

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Sun, Sep 6, 2020
"I've always had a problem letting go of things," I say, playing with the cigarette-burned hole in my sofa. "Is that why you still talk to me?" she asks. I pause to think for a moment. The answer is so obvious, yet she asks it anyway. Of course, it is. My inability to move on is why I dial the same number every single day. Yet at the same time, I feel like maybe I'm starting to let go. Maybe talking to her is actually helping me get over everything: helping me not hate work so much, actually take care of myself. I look at my kitchen, clean for the first time in a year and nod. Talking is helping, but I don't tell her that. "Yeah," I lie, because saying I don't need her anymore is harder to do.
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"What...can you please tell me what's going on. Why are you so mad?" she pleaded for answers. Damn she's good. She stood up from the couch and started walking towards me, trying to touch me. "Do you really want me away? Away from you. Like really really go?" she asked me again, acting confused. This time I see tears in her eyes threatening to roll out. I can't. I can't. Why can't she fucking tell me the truth. I literally saw what she did. Really pissed, I started shouting. "YES, I'M BLOODY SURE AIMEE. SO CAN YOU FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE FOR NOW". Reluctantly she turned away from me, walking towards where she left her stuff earlier, sniffling. She took her things and was ready to leave me. I opened the door for her. Almost stepping out from my house, she took my shaking hand by surprise. "You know you can talk to me right. I'm always here for you. Always", she said. It only pissed me more. She stopped at the doorstep turning to look at me. But I was a jerk. Because I fucking shoved her out of my house.

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